Ladies First

Id never heard of either of those rounds  hooter but I likes /default_biggrin.png  I would NOT fire the second out of a handgun LOL

 
Beranda, you always give wonderful advice, as well as cat, Miz,maybe, etc,,,,will you please read my thread in relationships, I'm up at 3;30, writing because I just have a bad feeling about my second new marriage, it's not like it was the first year, he gets angry all the time, he hit me with an ashtray because he says he stressed out, I have no sex life, yet he has porn, I know he has advanced hepatitis c, and forgets literally everything, which I'm sure is very frustrating, but he is taking it out on me! I've done everything to help more around the house, to making him new meals, but now my arm is messed up so I can't do as much lately, any advice from the godmother of good advice, thank you in advance. Background info, he's 20 years my senior, he hid my phone and won't let me drive alone. Not even to go get food or cigarettes! I have not or will not cheat on him but his behavior in the past 3 weeks is driving me crazy! I made us both doctor appointments this following week hoping to find out what the hell is going on. Is it possible for someone to change that quickly? All he does is lay around and get stoned all day with his friend, but I'm not allowed to even see a friend of mine in the hospital because he knows she doesn't like him for hitting me, I'm literally going insane, I feel like a prisoner in my own home! Thanks, with love, lee

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Have you tried talking to him about the things you're frustrated about? Communication is so important.

If you have tried communicating the things that are important to you (like having some independence, being intimate, etc etc) and he isn't responding, I would be concerned. Is he open to bringing in a non-biased person, such as a therapist, to help the two of you work things out? Marriage counseling can help the two of you learn to listen to one another and communicate your needs.

If he's hitting you, that's abuse, and I would strongly encourage you to seek help yourself and find a way out. Hitting is never ok.

Be safe.

 
Heavenlee said:
Beranda, you always give wonderful advice, as well as cat, Miz,maybe, etc,,,,will you please read my thread in relationships, I'm up at 3;30, writing because I just have a bad feeling about my second new marriage, it's not like it was the first year, he gets angry all the time, he hit me with an ashtray because he says he stressed out, I have no sex life, yet he has porn, I know he has advanced hepatitis c, and forgets literally everything, which I'm sure is very frustrating, but he is taking it out on me! I've done everything to help more around the house, to making him new meals, but now my arm is messed up so I can't do as much lately, any advice from the godmother of good advice, thank you in advance. Background info, he's 20 years my senior, he hid my phone and won't let me drive alone. Not even to go get food or cigarettes! I have not or will not cheat on him but his behavior in the past 3 weeks is driving me crazy! I made us both doctor appointments this following week hoping to find out what the hell is going on. Is it possible for someone to change that quickly? All he does is lay around and get stoned all day with his friend, but I'm not allowed to even see a friend of mine in the hospital because he knows she doesn't like him for hitting me, I'm literally going insane, I feel like a prisoner in my own home! Thanks, with love, lee

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You should be concerned, he's abusive, controlling, doesnt want to have sex with you, but will masturbate to porn.

Whats wrong with this picture? Find a way out.

He's to old for you anyway.

 
It's getting really old, but this is a very sudden change, three weeks ago he was the sweetest guy on the earth, I'm taking him to see a doctor on Thursday but I promise, abusing someone, especially hitting me a glass ashtray, is not acceptable. I have already spoken to family members about a way out if I can't find any answers to his sudden behavior change, I will never be hit again! I bought a tape recorder, because he always says they'll think you did it to yourself, you're just a recovering junkie they won't believe, so now I tape everything, just in case! I'm talking about calling the police if he dares lays another hand on me, but now he's on tape, unbeknownst to him, he can't use the excuse that I'm a worthless recovering drug addict anymore, wish me luck on Thursday will update, and appreciate all your help, was up all night crying last night, slept all day today, sorry it took so long to thank you, so grateful I have supportive friends I can turn to here, because I really don't have too many here where I live, just acquaintances that will use you up and take from you in a heartbeat, trust you guys more, love ya, lee

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Heavenlee said:
It's getting really old, but this is a very sudden change, three weeks ago he was the sweetest guy on the earth, I'm taking him to see a doctor on Thursday but I promise, abusing someone, especially hitting me a glass ashtray, is not acceptable. I have already spoken to family members about a way out if I can't find any answers to his sudden behavior change, I will never be hit again! I bought a tape recorder, because he always says they'll think you did it to yourself, you're just a recovering junkie they won't believe, so now I tape everything, just in case! I'm talking about calling the police if he dares lays another hand on me, but now he's on tape, unbeknownst to him, he can't use the excuse that I'm a worthless recovering drug addict anymore, wish me luck on Thursday will update, and appreciate all your help, was up all night crying last night, slept all day today, sorry it took so long to thank you, so grateful I have supportive friends I can turn to here, because I really don't have too many here where I live, just acquaintances that will use you up and take from you in a heartbeat, trust you guys more, love ya, lee

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I swear dont let that fucker mess with you any more, you're more than welcome to come my way, I'm in Mid Tn, have a 3 bedroom home, and I'm only using one.

I cant stand such things, sorry, that shit bothers more than you will ever know.

 
Good post! And yes like "caveate emptor" let the buyer beware, same message for online relationships, be aware. I've met many people online, most are truly friendly and sincere but there have been a few real deals. Fortunately all of interaction is just usually in the form of posts and comments to blogs. Over my years most of the online relationships I've seen developed, unfortunately have turned out to he flops for the ladies involved. Either the person looked nothing like what they described or in the cases I've known, the guy turned out to still be married. Now in all honesty I guess I should consider that there are quite a few online relationships that turn out perfectly well, however, just the few I have been exposed too, didn't work out and the ladies are still trying to pick up the pieces. Caution is the key word and listen to your gut. It's usually right.

 
Heavenlee, get out of there. You are not safe. PERIOD. If he needs to work on issues let him do it and then you can always go back.

 
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