I Admit

I admit I have a four page panel of drugs I am not allowed to take for a week presurgery. I live on ibuprofen and it's on the list. I really wanted to see my girlfriends at this bar Waldo's great music, Grateful Dead, Dave Methhews Band, Widespread Panic, all the great Jam Bands they rocked it for a nowhere club in Vero. I had major gas pains, yes men I hate to admit but us girls get them too and a headache so I took half a suboxone. It's funny found out my friends think I'm such a lightweight that after one drink they give me virgin drinks with a teaspoon of alcohol. I admit I have great girlfriends in my life. I've always been a guys only type girl, too much cattiness with other girls. But I admit these girls are the coolest woman I've met never want to leave here. I admit gratitude for every day of my life and the wonderful friends I've met here on this board that aren't judgmental they make me want to be the best me I can be and I love you all for it! I admit  I really love this board and have created deep bonds that will last a lifetime I'm sure of it! You guys and gals rock!

I admit you too are brave Toker!

I admit Heavenlee I will keep you in my prayers

I admit yes, girls do fart!

Lmao! Strangely only men brag about it though!

lol, I admit was not bragging, just being honest in regards to anothers admit!

@DaMerlyn Sweetie I never once thought you were bragging it was a thing about men! They don't think girls even pass gass and boy do we get embarrassed when we do but they think it's hilarious when they do it. Another sexist thing to say about men. Gratefully not most here!

Heavenlee said:

@DaMerlyn Sweetie I never once thought you were bragging it was a thing about men! They don't think girls even pass gass and boy do we get embarrassed when we do but they think it's hilarious when they do it. Another sexist thing to say about men. Gratefully not most here!

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LMAO! I admit you are soooo right!

I admit, I'm thinking of divorcing my husband. Four years of emotional exhaustion is enough. I'm an aquarius and he is a taurus, we are the worse pair emotionally.

I admit, I love him so much though. We have the most chemistry I've ever had with a human.

I admit, he can work on his communication when he's upset, but other than that it's good.

KittyPurffect said:

I admit, I'm thinking of divorcing my husband. Four years of emotional exhaustion is enough. I'm an aquarius and he is a taurus, we are the worse pair emotionally.

I admit, I love him so much though. We have the most chemistry I've ever had with a human.

I admit, he can work on his communication when he's upset, but other than that it's good.

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I admit that's a brave admission Kitty.  Although I also admit that if you have love and chemistry and all he has to work on is communication when upset - that sounds pretty great!!

I also admit that I am willing to agree to disagree on the whole astrology thing.  :lol:

 I admit that I spend an average of two hours a day with headphones in my ear's dancing to rap music. And yes...I twerk. ? ( oh the shame,  such a painful confession! )

 I admit that  I am going to do my best to be brave when I see my doctor tomorrow and  have decided to be honest about accidentally taking a .5 Xanax four days ago. I spent 20 minutes with the toothbrush down my throat, I admit it really sucks to not have a gag reflex.  I know that the odds are very high that my test will come up negative for Xanax, but I think my doctor will be OK if I am honest.  I could be wrong also… I have no idea.  I'm taking a chance by admitting my mistake , but after weighing the risks and rewards I think that it's the best decision.  He may or may not believe me in terms of it being accidental. It truly was! I think that he'll believe me but I can't be sure.  If I lie it's going to eat it at me and drive me insane until I get the results back.  My hope is that I come up negative on the test and that my level of trust will be increased with my doctor by my being honest. 

 I admit that as an addict that has spent many many years in (and out) of 12-step rooms and counseling sessions that my  gut instinct is to be honest.  My doctor has a zero tolerance policy on deception, not on relapsing.  He's a good man who is sincerely trying to help me.  I admit that I am not  completely ready to give up drugs, but I'm trying to get there. Lying isn't a step in the right direction for me.

 I admit that I need to listen to some more music and chillax… No more stressing over what's going to happen tomorrow morning when I see my doctor. At least I'm going to try. 

 I admit that after being on day eight of a sugar-free/ketogenic  diet I am dying for a piece of  chocolate cake, a cream filled doughnut… Heck, a tootsie roll! No! A cannoli... or Keylime cheesecake...chocolate mousse cake!? All of the above. 

*Whole Foods bakery, I'll see you soon. 

PS-  I admit that whenever I need to fart I get as close to my husband as possible and make my fart as loud as I can… I think it's hilarious. He made fun of me once after farting, ever since I have been in payback mode. 

Twerking fart girl signing off...

I admit at 40 some years old I can only get some by taking care of my self..I watched dirty porn for a minute and then took care of business . Hubby has no sex drive.

The problem is my dog came into my room and I lost the moment :/ I'm like dagger (dog) go outside oh well. I admit sometimes I don't have the energy to even help my own self out.. So I roll over to sleep on my own self 

k sorry TMI . 

I admit I hate caring around 20 extra lbs. I use to be the master of maintaining a single digit pant size. Then 5 years ago it all went out the window. I admit I have excepted the chunk to a point as life is too short to really get hung up on it. And it and I could be soo much worse. But latlely I have been trying again and it seems to have no effect . 

Oh and I am still a private farter but I like to burp with the best of them. Won't hold it I . Scares some of my work buddies. All men and all they do is crop dust everybody all day and talk about their poops. 

 I admit that I am very very relieved and happy right now after seeing my doctor! I was honest, he believed me and told me that he appreciated me being honest with him.  I feel like 100 pounds has been lifted from my shoulders! 

Phew!?

I admit I am scared about being an addict but also feel I am reasonable to know what medicine it takes to make me be able to function in society and sleep at night. 

I admit I have a great doctor who has helped tremendously with my anxiety and depression - but I go behind his back and self medicate for symptoms he's too conservative to treat ( I had to give up my klonopin script in order to try sleep medications and nothing worked besides ambien+trazadone but he doesn't think I require the dosage that I need)

I admit that I overcame a brief addiction to opiates

I admit that I was clean for 10 years and a massively herniated disc put me back in the game, some prescribed and some not prescribed.

I admit that sometimes I wished my husband would die when he would verbally abuse me.  Since he died from a heart attack a few months ago, I suffer tremendous guilt for thinking that way.

I admit that sometimes I want to kill myself, but I have really good life insurance at work which I've tripled since my husband died and I know they won't pay out to my son if I go out that way so I have prayed to God that I am ready and I can go any time.  I am tired of suffering in this life.  It just has to wait till my son is independent.  He is only 15 right now.

I admit to being hopeful that this time in my life will pass and I can somehow be happy again.  I am getting surgery next week and hoping to reduce/detox if it is successful.  

I admit I am grateful for this board and the help everyone has provided.  

I admit WOW! I think each of you is brave.

I admit many hugs and prayers for each in need!

DaMerlyn said:

I admit WOW! I think each of you is brave.

I admit many hugs and prayers for each in need!

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I admit that I second that.

@Akup7ich I can.relate and It freaking sucks bad doggy and @Jam1976 very proud of you honesty is the best policy especially with my doctor and @Handsley you made me cry I'm a baby but sounds like heavy duty survivors guilt wishing him dead and he dies! God I can't imagine the pain you suffer everyday even if he was an asshole. We have topics here personal advice hell create your own thread (like @Def_Starrwe all took over honestly by mistake!) but I guarantee you similar people might be in your situation that can help and support you.  I have not experienced loss like you but I'll guarantee I'll always listen to you and you have a shoulder to cry on. We all need help from each other 

@catzndogs brave admission you are at the right place with tons of support I promise I was a goner for sure until I made it here and made lifelong friends. Don't know why I can't pull up your name I admit!

i admit @Pooner2013im thinking of you and several others wishing you a hopefully good painless night of sleep.

i admitted to once trying to kill myself and after I took an assortment of drugs I ran downstairs to his bedroom we slept in different rooms and woke him up I was actually afraid to die. @Handsley things get better with time suicide is never the answer and we all would be really pissed. If you left us! Suicide is not allowed although I can relate to thinking about it too just so I wouldn't feel anymore pain. It does get better 'm grateful now for every single day I'm alive now. I cry every day now! I'm so happy I've changed I've cried many times.

i admit I'm nervous about surgery tomorrow but can't feel too bad because I chose to do it for superficial reasons. I admit I hate getting older it sucks!

Though I don't know you, I just wanted to say I am so proud of you. You recognized you did something wrong, and then did the hardest thing...and that is went and told someone and asked for help. That is so hard to do. Showing someone the complete honest "you". I believe at that point, even though it doesn't feel like it, you are one of the strongest people.

Just breaking down to the point where people see you completely vulnerable, is very hard.

Handsley said:

I admit that I was clean for 10 years and a massively herniated disc put me back in the game, some prescribed and some not prescribed.

I admit that sometimes I wished my husband would die when he would verbally abuse me.  Since he died from a heart attack a few months ago, I suffer tremendous guilt for thinking that way.

I admit that sometimes I want to kill myself, but I have really good life insurance at work which I've tripled since my husband died and I know they won't pay out to my son if I go out that way so I have prayed to God that I am ready and I can go any time.  I am tired of suffering in this life.  It just has to wait till my son is independent.  He is only 15 right now.

I admit to being hopeful that this time in my life will pass and I can somehow be happy again.  I am getting surgery next week and hoping to reduce/detox if it is successful.  

I admit I am grateful for this board and the help everyone has provided.  

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I hope your surgery goes well... and I'm sorry for your loss and the guilt you're enduring over your thoughts before your husband's death.  Please remember, they were thoughts… His death is not your fault. You're human, we have intense thoughts like that.... especially at the hands of abuse. 

I hope you can find some inner peace and love for yourself... your life is precious.  As hard or even as impossible as it may seem, try to find gratitude in the little things in your life… And the big things! Your son, the potential for a successful surgery that sounds like it has potential to change your life, we all have so many things around us that we take for granted (myself included).  I know that life can feel like an endless uphill battle. I know that emotional pain can be paralyzing.  I have depression issues, and I have this little ritual that I do at night now where I find three things that I am grateful for that day. They can be little things, big things. It's a matter of me recognizing that I have those things to be grateful for and more.  It's about recognizing the positive in my life.  I am not trying to minimize or dismiss the pain or the suffering that you are enduring, but suicide is not the answer. Whether your son is 15 or 25… He will always need you.  And your life is worth living and treasuring … I hope that you find yourself at a place where you can feel peace and happiness again.  I have faith that you can. 

I admit still sending prayers n huggs to Heavenlee for her surgery.

I admit I am extremely happy everybody is enjoying and using this I ADMIT thread!

I admit I am wondering if Heavenlee's surgery went ok.