Bi polar

Well the relationship went south after around 8 months I had my bank card linked to an amazon account and YES she emptied my account and had the cheek to say it was an accident one or two transactions yes I could believe that.

But over 25 transactions adding to a fair amount of money I most certainly can't forgive.Sometimes you meet someone you think you know and truse but believe me some female's (not all) can take advantage of someone's caring nature.O don't even wanna talk about some of the other things she's done as it hurts me to think there's people capable of these things 

 
I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2015. I didn’t tell my parents until 2019. Although I am on (variably) lamictal, gabapentin, depakote and latuda, the need to self medicate rears its ugly head here and there. The way everyone has described relationships is similar to what a relationship with me is like. There’s a honeymoon phase, then I get completely depress and withdrawn. Despite what I communicate to them in regards to what I need and what is wrong, they still don’t understand. I take my medication religiously because of what I become without them. I think about suicide on a daily basis, even during the days where everything seems great. I lost 18lb, challenged a customer at work to a fight, gave no shits about my job and came the closest to killing myself than I ever have. It was so real I could touch it. This was all within less than a month. The depression has subsided and now the weight is being packed back on and I can’t seem to stop eating. It’s mindless eating. I hate this life. People say it’s selfish for others to commit suicide. I say it’s selfish for people to want others to live just for them. My father told me it would kill him if I ever took my life and that I need to keep going for him. I had to move back in with my parents due to acquiring $22,000 in debt within the span of 1.8 years.  I don’t even know wtf I bought. I am misderable. 

 
When I was 19 I had just moved out of my moms house I had a very large inheritance and immediately bought a nice car and house. I was heavily into drugs and alcohol but was not able to buy it myself because I was underage. I made it very obvious that I had money so needless to say I received a lot of female attention. No offense ladies, just keeping it real :) anyanyway eventually I got tired of sleeping around and decided to settle down and lucky for me it was with a crazy chick, well crazier than normal I mean cuz let's face it their all fuckin nuts hehe. She was smokin hot and informed me she had severe bipolar disorder and epilepsy. I was instantly intrigued! She was a total FREAK in bed and very expiremental she had me try things I never thought I'd try and some of the things I'm embarrassed about quite frankly. Eventually though her little bad moods began getting on my nerves. Usually I would just leave on "business " but eventually she started having more bad days than good and I promptly dumped her. I'm 35 now and feel incredibly guilty about it. Awhile back I tried to look her up and found out she committed suicide. Also she had a daughter. I felt bad and sent her some money. Recently she came in contact with me and wants to meet up. She's 18, I just never knew about her. She's STUNNING. Like her mother only better. I'm becoming an old man and would like to have a little fun in my golden years. Is it wrong that I'm considering going through with it? I really would value your opinion. Thanks guys. I'll see you all in the still darkness of nothingness. I love you guys 

 
I know this is an old topic, but just wanted to throw in the mix a really incredible book called 'Loving someone with Bipolar Disorder' by Julie Fast.  It's been an excellent resource for both me as someone bipolar, and especially to partners i've had over the years.  Stay strong.....

 
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  1. proton369 @ proton369: You also my friend 💎
  2. N @ NickCharles: Glad your having a good day proton369!
  3. proton369 @ proton369: 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
  4. G @ Greginj: O dsmt
  5. R @ Royboy99: I invite anyone interested to read my latest review on CG… (wrong vendor identified earlier today it was CG not PD), mods contacted to delete erroneous post, bad case of the oh fuck tonight … but corrected to give credit to whom it was due, nothing against PD… just a mistake on my part … and wanted to give credit to whom it was due
  6. L @ Layne_Cobain: Ohhhh hahah @Royboy99 mine too 🤣
  7. R @ Royboy99: @Layne_Cobain, Freud’s favorite.
  8. L @ Layne_Cobain: Sorry you got burnt @ClintEastwood 😞
  9. L @ Layne_Cobain: What is the nootropic @Royboy99
  10. R @ Royboy99: Roughly 1g in 10-15ml of Saline
  11. R @ Royboy99: Honestly the greatest medication I’ve trialed
  12. R @ Royboy99: And it’s not like I’m geeked out crazy looking or acting , just happy, confident , loving life, productive af, greatest nootropic I’ve experienced
  13. R @ Royboy99: Man I really love these misters I make , it takes my day that’s at a 2 and cranks it up to at least a 9… with sustained reups as needed … if only this was fda approved med lol, make my life so much easier
  14. C @ ClintEastwood: Well I got burned on my first buy. It stral sucks the guy has sole things in stock. But definitely what I ordered and I thought he was honest because I asked for something very close to it and i said what about that one. Yeah I got it. And the comms were wired and he was really wanting me to make his forum board look better. Now I know the first thing to look at even before the menu. But I have some business with usps tomorrow and will ask for everything mailed to me especially packages
  15. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: Policies have changed and i would behoove everyone to due their due diligence and go have a look. The guidelines from 5-10 years ago dont apply. And rules, regulations and laws may not either, i mean do you see anyone giving 2 sh1tz about the C0n$tituti@n recently?
  16. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: @rasetreydir, yeah those are good af too
  17. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: @Ross7223, they should boycott pre-paid p0stage
  18. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: @Gulp2788, no they do not as of sept 25, u cant assume everything is the same, or anything for that matter. Its a brave new A-1 world folks.
  19. Gulp2788 @ Gulp2788: My milage has differed to yours though, I've found them incredibly reliable with their tracking and 3 day delivery is pretty accurate.
  20. Gulp2788 @ Gulp2788: I agree but U5PS has to go through a legal process to search packages. Private companies can open your mail at their discretion.
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