Bi polar

Well the relationship went south after around 8 months I had my bank card linked to an amazon account and YES she emptied my account and had the cheek to say it was an accident one or two transactions yes I could believe that.

But over 25 transactions adding to a fair amount of money I most certainly can't forgive.Sometimes you meet someone you think you know and truse but believe me some female's (not all) can take advantage of someone's caring nature.O don't even wanna talk about some of the other things she's done as it hurts me to think there's people capable of these things 

 
I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2015. I didn’t tell my parents until 2019. Although I am on (variably) lamictal, gabapentin, depakote and latuda, the need to self medicate rears its ugly head here and there. The way everyone has described relationships is similar to what a relationship with me is like. There’s a honeymoon phase, then I get completely depress and withdrawn. Despite what I communicate to them in regards to what I need and what is wrong, they still don’t understand. I take my medication religiously because of what I become without them. I think about suicide on a daily basis, even during the days where everything seems great. I lost 18lb, challenged a customer at work to a fight, gave no shits about my job and came the closest to killing myself than I ever have. It was so real I could touch it. This was all within less than a month. The depression has subsided and now the weight is being packed back on and I can’t seem to stop eating. It’s mindless eating. I hate this life. People say it’s selfish for others to commit suicide. I say it’s selfish for people to want others to live just for them. My father told me it would kill him if I ever took my life and that I need to keep going for him. I had to move back in with my parents due to acquiring $22,000 in debt within the span of 1.8 years.  I don’t even know wtf I bought. I am misderable. 

 
When I was 19 I had just moved out of my moms house I had a very large inheritance and immediately bought a nice car and house. I was heavily into drugs and alcohol but was not able to buy it myself because I was underage. I made it very obvious that I had money so needless to say I received a lot of female attention. No offense ladies, just keeping it real :) anyanyway eventually I got tired of sleeping around and decided to settle down and lucky for me it was with a crazy chick, well crazier than normal I mean cuz let's face it their all fuckin nuts hehe. She was smokin hot and informed me she had severe bipolar disorder and epilepsy. I was instantly intrigued! She was a total FREAK in bed and very expiremental she had me try things I never thought I'd try and some of the things I'm embarrassed about quite frankly. Eventually though her little bad moods began getting on my nerves. Usually I would just leave on "business " but eventually she started having more bad days than good and I promptly dumped her. I'm 35 now and feel incredibly guilty about it. Awhile back I tried to look her up and found out she committed suicide. Also she had a daughter. I felt bad and sent her some money. Recently she came in contact with me and wants to meet up. She's 18, I just never knew about her. She's STUNNING. Like her mother only better. I'm becoming an old man and would like to have a little fun in my golden years. Is it wrong that I'm considering going through with it? I really would value your opinion. Thanks guys. I'll see you all in the still darkness of nothingness. I love you guys 

 
I know this is an old topic, but just wanted to throw in the mix a really incredible book called 'Loving someone with Bipolar Disorder' by Julie Fast.  It's been an excellent resource for both me as someone bipolar, and especially to partners i've had over the years.  Stay strong.....

 
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  2. D @ drdrizzy13: LSU is trash and has always been trash but a night game in death valley is unlike anything I've experienced. Except the first game back to the superdome reopened after Katrina destroyed it. Everybody was crying and drunk as shit lol. All time favorite in person sports moment ever.
  3. M @ meepmoopmeep: Kiffin is a traitor and he and LSU deserve each other since they’re both complete trash
  4. D @ drdrizzy13: yea he's a joke lol. Can't stand him.
  5. L @ Layne_Cobain: You know who rly sucks…lane kiffin 😂 dude is all that’s wrong with college sports or at least a big chunk of it…and he lied about being told he could still coach ole miss in the playoffs
  6. D @ drdrizzy13: Hey at least Ole Miss got in. I can't stand LSU. They really sucked this year.
  7. M @ meepmoopmeep: as an A&M fan I’m content with us missing the SECCG for that reason. Georgia about to fuck Alabama up
  8. D @ drdrizzy13: Yeah I agree if bama loses I think they are out. That would be 3 losses. I don't see a 3 loss team getting in this year.
  9. L @ Layne_Cobain: Yeah that’s why sark was pleading his case about that Texas shouldn’t be punished for scheduling a non conference game against the best team and losing if they hadn’t done that they’d probably be in but oh well way it goes there’s always gonna be a few teams who get robbed or feel they got robbed even with a 12 team playofff…if bama loses to Georgia I’d think they’d be out but who knows
  10. D @ drdrizzy13: Alabama also lost to Florida State pretty bad. Whom Florida beat. I just think if they didn't decide to play ohio state the first game. They would be in with 2 losses instead of Alabama.
  11. M @ meepmoopmeep: @drdrizzy13 Texas lost to Florida of all teams, they weren’t heading for the playoffs anyways imo. At least not this year
  12. D @ drdrizzy13: Texas is offically out of the playoffs they didn't make the top 12. I do wish they were in it. They showed up against Texas AM. But there fatal flaw was scheduling Ohio State for their opening. Which would have been great if they won but they are a 3 loss team now.
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  15. L @ Layne_Cobain: Is the qb class supposed to be stacked or thin for draft in April I follow college ball but I can’t think right now I think there’s def at least a few high potential qb declaring
  16. D @ drdrizzy13: Right now I believe we pick 2nd. ATM.
  17. D @ drdrizzy13: At first I figured he might be able to do something but our position players suck. We are playing a rookie QB. O-line sucks. It needs to be blown up. I hope we tank for the first pick
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  20. D @ drdrizzy13: I should say our receivers suck
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