depression discussion

I'm fucking losing it

I sincerely don't know how much more I can take

I'm written to be on bed rest with a walker. bed rest with no work for 10 days now and a walker till whenever.  Guess who drives the kid to school and home?  Guess who walks up 3 fucking flights? Guess who carries groceries with the kid and dog up 3 flights? Guess who walks two dogs (pit and chi) and the pit has a torn ligament. Guess who has to go to the bank to deposit rent for May and then get the cashiers check and then drop that shit off - all while standing? ME

Oh and I need to organize and plan a party

I also have 2 scripts (films) that I need to learn my lines - and start rehearsing

He has NOT helped and I was there for  him always.  We still haven't spoken about that lil' whore but I'm fairly evil and I think he's scared I'll rip her face off.  He's home right after work and "oh so sorry" but he's getting me OUT of the house when I should be in it resting.

I told him Im not paying my half of our 3600 rent next month or any bills other than my sons cell phone portion *not his kid. I said "consider this asshole tax"

I just cry constantly and Ive eaten 1 meal in 2 weeks now the rest has been granola. Me and Joy Division or Old ass cure albums on repeat.

I don't know how much more I will and can take

oh and he's still not liked me back on tinder and I need sex even though it'll hurt like hell from the wreck

The kicker would be that I'm pregnant

 
SaintAlien, you really have every aspect of life crapping on you at once. It's horrible. Something tells me that you're a very strong person, especially since you're able to maintain a sense of humor when everything is falling apart at once. I wish I had known about 'asshole tax' much sooner. All I can really say is that I'm sorry you're going through so much at once, and I'm sending the best possible vibes your way. Stay strong and if you need to rip someone's face off, my vote is for the 'asshole tax' guy.

 
Thanks hon

A few good things have happened - which I'll post when I have time. It's been lawyers / Dr's / physical therapy and life 

But today Prince passed and as I mourn his loss I find comfort in something he said - which applies to us all

"Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called life

Electric word life
It means forever and that's a mighty long time
But I'm here to tell you
There's something else
The after world

A world of never ending happiness
You can always see the sun, day or night

So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
You know the one, Dr. Everything'll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby

'Cause in this life
Things are much harder than in the after world
In this life
You're on your own

And if the elevator tries to bring you down
Go crazy, punch a higher floor

If you don't like the world you're living in
Take a look around you
At least you got friends" - Prince

 
@SaintAlien From what I've read, you're a strong woman and never let anyone tell you any differently. I'm once again very sorry to hear about what you've been through and to see you also are going through this aswell hurts me inside knowing such a kind soul is going through so much at once. Hang in there, we're all with you along the way.

I myself suffer from a generalized depression disorder, how ever I have very negative effects towards anti-depressants. Perhaps you or anyone else would have advice on what I should do at this point? From a doctors perspective, they want to up my dosage on the benzos I'm on which is completely unnecessary seeing I need to be on less not more! 

I mean is there anything at all that helps? I've been in and out of therapist offices my whole life and I'm not sure where to turn now. I've been on almost every combination they can legally prescribe me that's in the book for both my anxiety disorder and depression disorder. I actively practice positive thinking, however depression likes to kick that in the butt and say "nope" at times which is the only way I can describe it.

 
Suzie said:
My pain management doctor wanted me to take anti-depressant and I said I was not depressed I was in pain.  Then she said that it is a vicious circle and depression can cause pain but I just wrote it off as b.s. thinking she just didn't want to prescribe pain meds.  Then recently someone told me that when she took anti-depressant years ago it made her pain go away so now I don't know what to think.
Click to expand...
I managed to quote you twice somehow, sorry. SNRIs can definitely improve pain. Trams are basically an SNRI + a mild opioid and are what I use now to manage both depression and pain. Part of the problem is pain perception--when you're depressed a little pain can feel like a lot--and SNRIs can take your mind off it. Effexor is prescribed for some pain conditions & they've been using opioids to tx severe depression for years. Another example is when you are in shock and your body produces a lot of adrenaline you don't feel much pain, so it's likely the norepinephrine not the serotonin that reduces pain (norepinephrine is related to adrenaline),


 
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  2. Thoth @ Thoth: @Layne_Cobain Crunk Juice!!!
  3. ClintEastwood @ ClintEastwood: Robert Duvall and a handful of others were a younger actors coach and always said no one worked as hard as those guys did. Robert Duvall and rest would read the full script 228 over and over, then after the last read they would go into how to perform their character. The young man had made it to meet Al who are greats and pull them to the side. And explain what his coach said. They all looked back and said out of every role you’ve seen me in. I have read it 228 by myself. 🫡 🫢 🫢 🫢
  4. ClintEastwood @ ClintEastwood: Sorry for comment below, but I couldn’t delete. Know I see the
  5. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: Yeah Robert Duvall passing is a hard one. RIP
  6. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Damn. Just heard Robert Duvall passed away Sunday. That’s a tough one. He’s one of my favorite actors. From Lonesome Dove to the Godfather and many others. We will miss you Mr Duvall. You entertained us for 7 decades. RIP
  7. L @ Layne_Cobain: @ClintEastwood make a post about it homie they’re gonna take down your message here cuz shout box isn’t really for talking shop just random shooting the shit exc but yeh just put your message in a post on the forum in the appropriate place and ppl will get at you! 👊 ✌️
  8. ClintEastwood @ ClintEastwood: Just wondering if anyone well trusted has a supply of research thienos or benz in powders for good average prices? Or could give a shout out from me to him? Or the best lowest per each? I’ve seen some cool and some i just know are worth it. Good price rv presses too but it is much more bang for your buck. I have one good vendor. But am looking for variety’s well. Send me a message or reply if you think any. Thanks - CLINT E. Any Heavy stuff too which all seem about the ssmmmmmm
  9. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: I always thought I should’ve been born in a much earlier time but I will say, i do enjoy my Xbox and occasional TV series tho 😂
  10. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: I just wish the opioid epidemic never happened. Fk the turn of the century (which would be cool no doubt)! Many of my friends and family would’ve ended up in asylums like so many others. I just wish I could get back all those I’ve lost since the start
  11. L @ Layne_Cobain: 1914 I meant
  12. L @ Layne_Cobain: I often wish I lived during the turn of the century or at least before the Harrison narcotics act or whatever I think it was 1924 the fun ended but anyway yeh being able to get laudanum, ❄️ and amphetamine at the local friendly pharmacy
  13. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Chew on the leaves with a bit of slaked lime and enjoy the mild boost you get from the raw base.
  14. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I’m sure you know the folks in the mountainous regions along South Americas pacific side buy cócà leaves at the local farmers market just to help acclimate to the higher elevation when they have to head up into the hills.
  15. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I would certainly have bought it, swilled it, enjoyed it…. Why not? A little boost in your juice isn’t going to hurt anyone.
  16. R @ Royboy99: Exports were reported to have around 7.2mg per FL OZ, it’s success is what actually led to Coca Cola
  17. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Having cramps and husband thinks you’re acting hysterical (ie. PMS) the doc would either perform a certain massage to relieve the strains of motherhood and family life of that time or send you down to the local apothecary for a bottle of laudanum… A tincture of alcohol and 10% òpìųm. Fun days huh?
  18. R @ Royboy99: @malestrom: yeah thats it, my bad Mariani, yeah i considered that and also its ROA, which was oral so the bioavailability was lower than insufflation, higher degree of purity tho and longer duration … there was a significant marked increase of patents filed by Edison during the time it was released in the US. Presidents were known to use it as well, and the Queen. The pope awarded the wine the Vatican gold medal award
  19. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I think it was called vin Mariani. But yeah, it was all the rave back in the turn to the 20th century. Original formula Coca Cola did it for a while too. I think it was pretty weak though. Something like 200 mg per liter of wine. Enough to maybe give you a little push but unless you could pound some serious alcohol, it’d be hard to really feel the effects before the ethyl knocked you down on the ground. It was an interesting time period. Laudanum was a “hysterical” woman’s best friend.
  20. R @ Royboy99: Maybe it’s the admixture of my South American dna that works so well with it ? 🤷
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