I'm pleased to announce...

[VII]

I'm pleased to announce after discussing tapering methods with various users that I am going to become clean from benzos. I've been prescribed specifically X@n@x and Kl0n0pin to treat my anxiety for over ten years now and it's time too taper off and find a more natural solution to treat my panic. I would like to thank everyone (you know who you are) that has talked to me about tapering methods, going through recovery, or anything regarding the addiction. 

I know it's not good for my body, and that's why I'm going to put my foot down and make sure this stops by tapering down slowly.

I'll be posting daily results most likely, hopefully some users will find it helpful and inspire them to ween off the same meds for the same reason. 

It's time to start looking forward to living to a more natural life!

Regards,

-VII

 

[PTFC]

This is a big step @VII and kudos to you for deciding to go ahead. I personally used Dr Ashtons taper method, though changed some things to suit myself, and while I'm still not quite finished, I'm not too far away. There are a few threads with more information on tapering from these meds in this section, so there is plenty of information here, as well as elsewhere on the Web. One thing I did notice was that it was easier dropping from the larger doses at the beginning, the lower dosage drops were/are a little more challenging for me, it seems every mg counts! I wish you well! 

 

[ElectroNymph]

It's a brave thing to do. I wish you all the best! I had an alcohol probkem from 16 -25, then realised that the only way to beat it was to face my fears. Facing up to panic attacks mainly. 

Benzos are something I do because I can't get a job, despite being well educated, and it's more of a depressive, BPD thing. 

I don't fear my panic attacks now, but they are an annoyance, as they're almost constant. Benzos give me a little relief from the pulsating andrenaline coursing through my body.

Good luck. xx

 

[Biteme]

Good for you, but be very careful. I would definitely recommend consulting a doctor to get you through it especially since you're taking prescribed meds anyway. 

 

[PTFC]

Good for you, but be very careful. I would definitely recommend consulting a doctor to get you through it especially since you're taking prescribed meds anyway. 

This is the finest piece of advice about your decision VII.

 

[VII]

This is a big step @VII and kudos to you for deciding to go ahead. I personally used Dr Ashtons taper method, though changed some things to suit myself, and while I'm still not quite finished, I'm not too far away. There are a few threads with more information on tapering from these meds in this section, so there is plenty of information here, as well as elsewhere on the Web. One thing I did notice was that it was easier dropping from the larger doses at the beginning, the lower dosage drops were/are a little more challenging for me, it seems every mg counts! I wish you well! 

It's a huge step indeed, however having you and many others to thank for motivating me to get off these substances for the right reasons. I appreciate your support and I'll take a look at some tapering methods before I continue tapering. 

It's a brave thing to do. I wish you all the best! I had an alcohol probkem from 16 -25, then realised that the only way to beat it was to face my fears. Facing up to panic attacks mainly. 

Benzos are something I do because I can't get a job, despite being well educated, and it's more of a depressive, BPD thing. 

I don't fear my panic attacks now, but they are an annoyance, as they're almost constant. Benzos give me a little relief from the pulsating andrenaline coursing through my body.

Good luck. xx

You know what's funny? You're just like me. My goal however is to be on 1mg of KP at the end of the tapering so my body won't be completely dependent on the medications and take 1mg of Xan when a serious panic attack occurs which is more annoying than anything - not to mention it's inconvenient most of the time!

Hopefully one day they will develop a solution to assist with anxiety that does not involve benzo substances - something that's not addictive, something you can't get high off of. Just a substance to assist with anxiety in a safer manner. I know I'm thinking about the impossible here but it doesn't hurt to wish for things, right? Thank you also for your support!

Good for you, but be very careful. I would definitely recommend consulting a doctor to get you through it especially since you're taking prescribed meds anyway. 

I will be consulting my doctor about this. It's kinda interesting that you brought this up because the one doctor I go to that actually understands what I'm going through out of every doctor in that office is moving so I will never see her again. This doesn't mean I won't consult a doctor about this, it just means I'm delayed seeing one. That's all, but thank you for your concern and support.

 

[ElectroNymph]

It's a huge step indeed, however having you and many others to thank for motivating me to get off these substances for the right reasons. I appreciate your support and I'll take a look at some tapering methods before I continue tapering. 

You know what's funny? You're just like me. My goal however is to be on 1mg of KP at the end of the tapering so my body won't be completely dependent on the medications and take 1mg of Xan when a serious panic attack occurs which is more annoying than anything - not to mention it's inconvenient most of the time!

Hopefully one day they will develop a solution to assist with anxiety that does not involve benzo substances - something that's not addictive, something you can't get high off of. Just a substance to assist with anxiety in a safer manner. I know I'm thinking about the impossible here but it doesn't hurt to wish for things, right? Thank you also for your support!

I will be consulting my doctor about this. It's kinda interesting that you brought this up because the one doctor I go to that actually understands what I'm going through out of every doctor in that office is moving so I will never see her again. This doesn't mean I won't consult a doctor about this, it just means I'm delayed seeing one. That's all, but thank you for your concern and support.

No problem. If you are ready, then you'll be get through it. x

 

[VII]

Day 1: (I will edit these accordingly throughout the day as needed if something different happens).

So far, around midnight EST I took 1mg of KP and 10mg of Val, it's currently 1:20PM and I feel small cravings for my medication and various bursts of panic but I experience those bursts even when I was on a very high dose of these medications so it's not as alarming. Gladly I haven't had a serious panic attack today, generally I have multiple ones a day on these medications...strange how that works. I also feel slightly sweaty even though it's 70 degrees Fahrenheit/21 degrees Celsius in this room I'm in on average. My hands are slightly shakey as always but nothing that I'm concerned about seeing I've experienced that my whole life even on this medication (heavy doses).

Regarding Xan, I don't feel any cravings for it at all seeing I only took it during serious panic attacks. I'll continue to use this medication to treat my serious panic attacks due to my panic disorder.

My goal here is to be less dependent on benzos in general, it seems that I do not have a dependency on Xan but more-so down the lines of KP seeing I take that daily. 

These bursts of panic that I receive are very small feelings of fear that run through my body for a few seconds and stop, it will repeat for a few minutes and vanish until the next bursts occur. This has been very common even while on KP (heavy or low dosage, it never mattered) but I never had the need to take Xan to resolve this. It's become a normal thing for me that I've adapted to. I have small cravings for more KP which seeing I'm tapering off them, I will be taking 2mg today instead of 3+ and see how that does. 

Dosage total: 2mg consumed today, 1mg at midnight and 1mg 13.5 hours later. 15mg of Val consumed to ease the effects, however I did this wrong. I should only take the val if I see withdrawal effects so I will not be using Val in my routine from this point forward. This is a huge step, larger than I expected but it seems to be working. Let's see the following days results to make sure this will be a safe dosage for the time being.

Update: 2PM I had a minor panic attack but it wasn't as bad as the others...perhaps the Val was helping with that so feeling the need to simply not take Xan for this is a good feeling and a good sign. None the less, I'm on much less than I should be on daily and I'm functioning as I usually do while on higher doses. The upside to this is not feeling drowsy or feeling any effect on my body besides reduced panic, this is one major thing I wanted to achieve. Perhaps I was prescribed too much, I'm not sure but I do know my panic attacks nearly put me in the hospital nearly every time seeing the convulsions I have during these panic attacks last 30-45 minutes on average...if you don't know how my personal panic attacks work you may ask about it.

As a note: Withdrawal occurs 24-48 hours after the medication leaves your body, if I experience any withdrawal effects I will do the necessary precautions to make sure I'm safe. However, from my experience with my body and this medication I shouldn't go through any sort of withdrawals. 

 

[Tranaxfan]

It's a huge step indeed, however having you and many others to thank for motivating me to get off these substances for the right reasons. I appreciate your support and I'll take a look at some tapering methods before I continue tapering. 

You know what's funny? You're just like me. My goal however is to be on 1mg of KP at the end of the tapering so my body won't be completely dependent on the medications and take 1mg of Xan when a serious panic attack occurs which is more annoying than anything - not to mention it's inconvenient most of the time!

Hopefully one day they will develop a solution to assist with anxiety that does not involve benzo substances - something that's not addictive, something you can't get high off of. Just a substance to assist with anxiety in a safer manner. I know I'm thinking about the impossible here but it doesn't hurt to wish for things, right? Thank you also for your support!

I will be consulting my doctor about this. It's kinda interesting that you brought this up because the one doctor I go to that actually understands what I'm going through out of every doctor in that office is moving so I will never see her again. This doesn't mean I won't consult a doctor about this, it just means I'm delayed seeing one. That's all, but thank you for your concern and support.

Hey VII,

Good for you. A very courageous step to take. What has helped me tremendously in my process well is Mindfullness. I have been practising it for about half a year now and it has helped me a lot in not getting overwhelmed by my emotions (i.e. panic and anxiety) but just recognising they are there and a part of me, and I don't always have to fight them. In my country (W Europe somewhere), it is actually covered my health insurance if you have a referral from a psychologist. Just saying, I could be a good additional tool in the recovery process. It's an eight week training.

All the best. 

 

[VII]

Hey VII,

Good for you. A very courageous step to take. What has helped me tremendously in my process well is Mindfullness. I have been practising it for about half a year now and it has helped me a lot in not getting overwhelmed by my emotions (i.e. panic and anxiety) but just recognising they are there and a part of me, and I don't always have to fight them. In my country (W Europe somewhere), it is actually covered my health insurance if you have a referral from a psychologist. Just saying, I could be a good additional tool in the recovery process. It's an eight week training.

All the best. 

Thank you for your support, 

My problem is I can't be fully off the substances due to the panic disorder. I'm trying to achieve a very low dose of KP (1mg is my goal) to get me through the day instead of 3-10+mg (I can't say how much I'm taking for security purposes). However, my method which I should state in the first post will be this. I'll be taking lower doses of KP and if I sense any withdrawal effects I will be using Val as a tapering substance, it's still experimental seeing everyones different so I need to find the right dosage each day and stick with it until my body is atoned to the lower dose of KP and hopefully down the road I can be fully off the substance.

Panic disorder or not, I will talk to a psychiatrist to have meds to have on hand for when-needed situations after I'm fully tapered off which with the amount I'm taking and how long I've taken it will take around a year or so, maybe 8-10 months depending on how well my body does without it. I'm not saying I'm going fully off it, no that's too risky. I just need to ween myself down to an extremely low dose so I'm able to be taken off the benzo class completely with a medical professionals help-- regarding treating my anxiety we'll get there when we cross that road. In the meantime, focusing on getting on a lower dose to make this easier for my healthcare professonal I will be seeing soon will be ideal. What method do you use?

 

[Tranaxfan]

Thank you for your support, 

My problem is I can't be fully off the substances due to the panic disorder. I'm trying to achieve a very low dose of KP (1mg is my goal) to get me through the day instead of 3-10+mg (I can't say how much I'm taking for security purposes). However, my method which I should state in the first post will be this. I'll be taking lower doses of KP and if I sense any withdrawal effects I will be using Val as a tapering substance, it's still experimental seeing everyones different so I need to find the right dosage each day and stick with it until my body is atoned to the lower dose of KP and hopefully down the road I can be fully off the substance.

Panic disorder or not, I will talk to a psychiatrist to have meds to have on hand for when-needed situations after I'm fully tapered off which with the amount I'm taking and how long I've taken it will take around a year or so, maybe 8-10 months depending on how well my body does without it. I'm not saying I'm going fully off it, no that's too risky. I just need to ween myself down to an extremely low dose so I'm able to be taken off the benzo class completely with a medical professionals help-- regarding treating my anxiety we'll get there when we cross that road. In the meantime, focusing on getting on a lower dose to make this easier for my healthcare professonal I will be seeing soon will be ideal. What method do you use?

I understand where you are coming from. I am also still on benzo's, although am using much less than I used to, which I attribute to Mindfulness (i think?). I am not sure I will ever be able to stop taking them alltogether, and as of right now this is not my goal. My goal is to be able to function at a "normal" level again, socially, professionaly, and emotionally. And I know "normal" means something different for everyone. It's about finding the right balance and learning how to cope with change  and disappointment for me at least. 

 

[VII]

I understand where you are coming from. I am also still on benzo's, although am using much less than I used to, which I attribute to Mindfulness (i think?). I am not sure I will ever be able to stop taking them alltogether, and as of right now this is not my goal. My goal is to be able to function at a "normal" level again, socially, professionaly, and emotionally. And I know "normal" means something different for everyone. It's about finding the right balance and learning how to cope with change  and disappointment for me at least. 

Precisely what I'm personally seeking aswell, being on a low yet stable dose to treat anxiety would be much healthier in the longrun. As I stated before, if I was to be taken off the class of medicine completely it would take 8-12+ months with a more unbearable process than I'm already experiencing. As you've stated, I'd love to feel those exact feelings yet on a very low dose to become stable yet less dependent on it aswell. The thing is my doctor wanted to put me on more, she even asked if I wanted more but I told her no. Coping with anxiety is very difficult to do without medication, and I'm trying to find a way to cope with these serious levels of panic without the need of heavy substances that I'm already dependent on. There's bound to be a safer alternative...I've just yet to find it. I'll be righht here with you along your way to recovery aswell. However, when you first started how did it effect you? The recovery process that is.

 

[Tranaxfan]

I'll pm you. 

 

[VII]

A few hours have past sense my last update. I must say something came to my mind which is not what I expected.

In the past 16 hours I've had two major panic attacks and I refused to use Xanax to treat them seeing I want to see how I can deal with them on my own without medication. These panic attacks are what I can only describe as full-blown terror, it doesn't get more realistic in my own eyes. Some involve convulsions which are not related to seizures, it's the panic causing them. I can't scream, talk, move, nothing. It's a feeling as if I was hunted down by something - of course I'm not but that's the generalized sense of it all to describe the feeling. I only feel like crying during these but I'm incapable of doing such a thing. 

These panic attacks can last anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours at a time. I rarely get them 2 hours long but the ones I experienced today were 45-60 minutes long.

I'm not sure what to do with these panic attacks and I'm starting to regret my decision...however the decision is for the best so I don't want to stop on day one seeing I've made the first step! Any advice for such a thing? I'm honestly scared right now. 

 

[Smoka90]

I know this must be very difficult for you, but like everyone else, I'd just like to congratulate you for the brave decision you are making. It really is such a big, positive step, one which many people envy.

As others have said, stay safe with the withdrawals, although I'm sure you are experienced and know what you are doing.

We're all on your side, here to give you support should you need it.

Stay strong!

=)

 

[VII]

I know this must be very difficult for you, but like everyone else, I'd just like to congratulate you for the brave decision you are making. It really is such a big, positive step, one which many people envy.

As others have said, stay safe with the withdrawals, although I'm sure you are experienced and know what you are doing.

We're all on your side, here to give you support should you need it.

Stay strong!

=)

Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. Regarding the post above, it has gotten better after taking a small nap. Just the generalized feelings that I always get remain which is a good sign.

Hopefully I'll be able to pull this through.

 

[Smoka90]

Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me. Regarding the post above, it has gotten better after taking a small nap. Just the generalized feelings that I always get remain which is a good sign.

Hopefully I'll be able to pull this through.

Keep focusing on the good things, I mean the improvements, even if small, that are happening, if that makes sense. I've read from a lot of stories that's a good approach.

Keep going. =) And don't forget to be proud of yourself, I know I keep saying that, but I think it's essential for many things in life. Of course there's a *massive* difference between pride and self-love, so there's nothing wrong with pride.

If you feel yourself going through a bad patch, just spill it all out on here, if you want to that is. It might help.

 

[VII]

Keep focusing on the good things, I mean the improvements, even if small, that are happening, if that makes sense. I've read from a lot of stories that's a good approach.

Keep going. =) And don't forget to be proud of yourself, I know I keep saying that, but I think it's essential for many things in life. Of course there's a *massive* difference between pride and self-love, so there's nothing wrong with pride.

If you feel yourself going through a bad patch, just spill it all out on here, if you want to that is. It might help.

Thank you for the kind words, I am proceeding with the treatment. I will also be providing a "day 2" update here soon, just giving it more time seeing I posted "day 1's" update a bit too soon in the day. 

I must say, I feel a lot better about myself overall despite the negative things happening with my body that have always been there. I only have you and all of my supporters to thank for this, I haven't felt so comfortable in years.

Regards,

-VII

 

[VII]

Day 2:

It's been a full 24 hours since my last update and I'm still standing strong

I am noticeably sweating more though even though I'm not hot, if this proceeds I may need to contact a medical professional seeing this is very unusual for me. I only get these sweating episodes when I'm having a panic attack.

I still crave my drugs, but I'm not giving in to the cravings. I've put too much effort in so far by putting my foot down to cave in so soon. 

As of now I'm on a very low dosage, and it seems to be working just fine...for now.

Regarding the tapering substance I'm using, I will hold off using that to save for withdrawal symptoms which I'm sure I'll have going down so heavily. Gladly, I've already tested these during withdrawals and I didn't feel any withdrawal effects.

I do notice an unfamiliar sleeping pattern developing...I'm looking into separate substances to take for a short time period to get it back on track though-- cross your fingers!

Speaking of sleep... (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ sandman why won't you pay me a visit when I need it?!

All in all, I'm developing more and more hope for this as each day passes. I will not give in, I will not surrender. 

-VII