I'm pleased to announce...

[PTFC]

There's nothing wrong with a bit of anxiety/guilt about the past,  it can make you more determined to make things right, for yourself at least , if not for others.

 

[SB123]

VII,I've just read through your thread and results effects etc it has on your body...i myself take lot's of Di@z,the other month i tried to just stop everything,go without anything,well apart from the 30/500 co-codamol i get prescribed for old football injury.

And the first few days felt good (But i put that down to the active ingredient still in my system),but after 4 or 5 day's, my body felt like it was going to shut down ( I did know that your supposed to taper down and putting life at risk by stopping after 10year of Di@z ) but i stupidly thought i could do it,just take a few co-codamol when thing's get bad.

But after two week's, it was unbearable, the sweat's,no sleep,panic attacks lasting 4-6 hours,inside's feeling sore,locking myself away,not answering phone etc...i just had to give in,was far too hard,maybe ive just not got what it takes.

Hope you do btw and get to were you want to be,it can be done,seen plenty do it,but just giving my experience,although not really helpful,lol,but just wanted to say it's great to see you doing it,and support you in anyway.

Also the experience of withdrawal and that combined with me being type 1 Diabetic and insulin dependent was too much and im back to square one,bk on the Di@z etc...but i couldn't put my body through it any longer,so I'll continue like this until i goto the docs and tell him my real problems,but for now,i simply can't :/,wish i had the bottle,im sure i will one day.....Anyway,stay strong and wish you all the best.

 

[SheratonGibson]

Hi VII, like everyone, I wish you the best of luck.  Years ago, recovering from cancer treatment, I got into the habit of making it through a day with minimal drugs, then loading up at night for a break.  Stopped all cold turkey one day, and didn't take days to wear out of my system, I was doing the Johnny Cash that night.

Later, on another attempt I took a long time as I saw that advised in all methods I'd researched.  I took two months to taper, very incremental.  So my only advice would be make the taper time long, with baby steps.  I hardly had any symptoms.  Sounds like you already know this, but longer taper is always easier. 

SheratonG

 

[VII]

I need time to respond because that "looking out of the window" and noticing things - is the "fog" lifting.  Was it Burroughs that said we go into a plant like state while using and detoxing we become animals again - able to feel / see / enjoy?

Interesting observation, I'd have to say I agree-- after detoxing I've become an animal again apposed from a vegetable. 

Small update seeing it's been awhile! It looks like I'll be awhile till I see my new doctor so I'll keep doing what I'm doing until then. I feel slightly more dependent on the medications which is a bad sign, I need to completely get off of them but I can't simply do it on my own without a healthcare professionals supervision. Only time will tell.

Sorry I've been inactive, just been enjoying life for once the time I was away and I must say everything is fantastic. I love the world and I love life, I never thought I'd make it this far but I'm glad I did.

I'm currently in serious chronic pain due to wisdom teeth being pushed inside my head so to speak...or at least it feels like it and one may be infected. I went to the dentist on Thursday and it turns out they needed to be removed right away but he does not extract teeth so I have to wait in line to see an oral surgeon. Problem is I haven't been able to eat a meal in 3 weeks and my jaw feels like it's locking up seeing the pain is so immense I cannot fully open my mouth-- even half way.

They are not treating this as an emergency which pisses me off. I honestly just want to gently take a pair of pliers, take it out gently and be done with it. I can't do that but still, enough is enough.

I'm still on my normal meds but on a much lower dose, just gotta see my doctor...hopefully I can get in sooner to get things sorted out. I'll try to see a psych regarding what I need before completely weening off.

 

[VII]

Update:

I have unfortunately given in due to recent traumatic events occurring. This has caused heavy withdrawal effects when I try to stop for a day or two to ween myself back down which is absolutely horrible.

I'm sorry to all of my supporters, there's just been so much stress and traumatic events that occurred in the past few weeks. I'm going to follow through and stop once again, but this has to be the end-- no if ands or buts! So I'm weening myself down slowly instead of CT'ing like I did before.

There's no need to worry, everything is panning out. It seems that your body will always crave the medication(s) similar to an addiction to nicotine, you'll always crave it even if it's small. So, I'll be slowly going down on these meds once again instead of CT'ing as stated before and go back to a stable amount or fully off them. It would take years to fully get off them so I may stick with a simple dose and work from there.

Sorry for letting you guys and gals down, but mark my word I will finish this one way or another. I refuse to give up.

Thank you all,

-VII

 

[PTFC]

Update:

I have unfortunately given in due to recent traumatic events occurring. This has caused heavy withdrawal effects when I try to stop for a day or two to ween myself back down which is absolutely horrible.

I'm sorry to all of my supporters, there's just been so much stress and traumatic events that occurred in the past few weeks. I'm going to follow through and stop once again, but this has to be the end-- no if ands or buts! So I'm weening myself down slowly instead of CT'ing like I did before.

There's no need to worry, everything is panning out. It seems that your body will always crave the medication(s) similar to an addiction to nicotine, you'll always crave it even if it's small. So, I'll be slowly going down on these meds once again instead of CT'ing as stated before and go back to a stable amount or fully off them. It would take years to fully get off them so I may stick with a simple dose and work from there.

Sorry for letting you guys and gals down, but mark my word I will finish this one way or another. I refuse to give up.

Thank you all,

-VII

You have let no-one down @VII! Withdrawing CT was not a good idea though! Slowly does it, I'm nearing 8 months myself now, but progress is progress however slow, and I do see the end in sight. Did you ever speak with your Doc regarding this? Get stable meds wise, be safe, and concentrate on what's important in your life at the moment. Support is always here mate!

 

[VII]

You have let no-one down @VII! Withdrawing CT was not a good idea though! Slowly does it, I'm nearing 8 months myself now, but progress is progress however slow, and I do see the end in sight. Did you ever speak with your Doc regarding this? Get stable meds wise, be safe, and concentrate on what's important in your life at the moment. Support is always here mate!

When I first started this it was 100% CT and I was clean for some time, quite enjoyable I must say!

Issue is with a lot of things going wrong in my life right now caused my panic disorder to go off the roof so I resulted in taking the meds to keep me calm once again. I know I need to be on something but benzos aren't the answer unfortunately due to their addictive state. 

I'm currently working on cutting down heavily yet gradually over time instead of CT'ing it again. That was hell and back, plus I put my life in danger for doing such a thing which is not optimal in any way shape or form due to the fact the receptors in your brain that it was altering at the time no longer had treatment so to speak. After 10+ years of being on these meds, best that I don't do that again and just be more careful!

I haven't seen a doctor about it yet, the soonest a psychiatrist can see me is in November so I have to suck it up until then.

I must say, this is one of the hardest addictions to kick that I've personally encountered. I'm glad you were able to fully follow through with it, I'm very proud of you!