No Communication

Rizzo.

Rizzo.

Member
Joined
Mar 28, 2014
Messages
266
I wish my boyfriend would talk to me about things that affect our life together.  Like holidays.  Easter.  But the second he suspects I've been taking pills or drinking, he shuts down.  He will say one quick really hurtful thing, and then either totally ignore me, leave the room or drive off in his truck.  I'm left standing there like "what? i'm willing to apologize, just let me, please listen!"  But no one's listening.

We've been having a rough week.  Holidays and my birthday are always hard because I don't have any family, so maybe I over-medicate, whatever, its how I cope.   I feel like my bf should expect me to be a little more fragile and respond with extra compassion.  I'd be satisfied with a fucking hug and an "I'm here for you".  It wouldn't take much to make me feel loved and wanted. It could be so simple.

Meanwhile, he has a huge family that he's pretty tight with.  Their opinions of me are not great bc A- I'm sure he talks shit and B- I'm not italian.  Holidays are always fucked up bc we go to his sisters house and I'm never told what to expect.  Sometimes theres 50 people there all dressed up fancy, including several little kids.  I prefer that bc I can blend in.  Yesterday, Easter,  there were only 10-ish people there,  all wearing sweats! And no kids, except my 3yo son.  I bought new dressy easter outfits, shoes, & haircuts for my son and me.   As usual, I look like the asshole.

It's not just that.  I feel like he hates me and like he thinks I hate him.  After 12 years together, we should be able to work this shit out.  I'm not ready to give up.  But he needs to participate in the relationship too!  How can I make things better when he refuses to talk about anything? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

 
Hi.  Firstly, I would like to say that I am sorry you are having a hard time.  Could you schedule a time for the two of you to go out and have dinner and talk? maybe if you did that, you would have no other pressures to distract you and you could concentrate on having that much needed conversation. Good luck! xo 

 
Thanks.  I will try.  It's just every time I try to voice my concerns, he gets very defensive as if its some sort of personal attack.  Then he tells me "it must be the pills talking" and basically shuts me down.  So frustrating because those are always his final words

I'll give it a few days to cool down and then try what you suggested.

 
Dr.  Headbanger  here. Try talking to him about something he's interested in to get the conversation started then slowly change the topic of conversation.

 
@77 hi read my reply 2 @gg's post on "relationship advice needed" anything else lmk ok...goodluck #Italianstubbernmen and girl what r you do'n? after 12 yrs he should b ur husband. ~ starboy

 
Ok, well things have gone from unbearable to absolutely fucked.  He smashed my iPhone & told me to move out.  Ok.  It makes it a little more difficult to call about apartments without a phone.  But I'm crafty, I'll find a way.   I am no fucking victim.

Thanks for the advice Dr H and sbb /default_smile.png

 
Hey blackcat,

Hows it going?? I hope you got somewhere to stay give us an update to make sure everything is alright.

Thanks

Xegh

 
Hey there /default_smile.png  Thanks for asking. I'm still staying here at our house, so at least theres that.  He's smashed my phone and somehow disabled my car so it won't start and now is telling me I can't drink.  I wouldn't call myself an alcoholic exactly but, you know, if I choose to have a couple beers, thats my goddamn choice.  I just now told him I was walking to the bar for an hour and he told me "the fuck you are".  I will stay home and try to keep the peace though, whatever there is left of it.

Mind you, he enjoyed some clam breakfast, initiated by me as a peace offering.  It didn't fix anything.

I'm pissed as hell but yea every things alright.  Thank you Xegh

E

 
The clams are spreading in to all the threads!!

He damn well shouldn't of had a clam breakfast if he is treating you badly. If he is just concerned about you then fair enough. It is very hard for others to comment on peoples relationships because we just don't know enough especially over the internet so I can not offer any advice other than feel free to PM or msg on here if you want to talk to others about anything as that is sometimes the best thing to do ( sure you heard that a million times before ).


Cl Mod Xegh

 
Xegh said:
If he is just concerned about you then fair enough. 
Click to expand...
Oh my god.  I didn't think of it that way.  Here I am, thinking he's just being a power-tripping dickhead who wants to prevent any fun had by me but maybe thats not it.  It really is fair enough for him to be concerned about me, given my extremely checkered past/present.  Wow.  Sometimes it takes the insight of a complete stranger to show you what should have been clear as day the whole time.  

Whether its true, I've yet to find out but you've definitely opened my mind a bit & released some anger I was storing.  Thank you for saying that.  It truly turned on a lightbulb and I'm not just bullshitting.  

 
I'd like to nominate myself as Cl Mod 77 since I feel at least one of us should have one.  It's only fair.   /default_wink.png

Have the committee vote on it  /default_tongue.png

Have a great night, my friend.

E

 
You got my vote, but a pic to just confirm whether it really is bearded or not will get ya everywhere lol....... /default_tongue.png

 
dave2002 said:
You got my vote, but a pic to just confirm whether it really is bearded or not will get ya everywhere lol....... /default_tongue.png
Click to expand...
Dave unfortunately that is the reluctant job of the clam Mod so I am sorry blackcat you would have to send it to me to be correctly CATegorised.  

Remember what I said though blackcat we don't know your situation, but if it feels like a revelation then maybe there is some truth in it. I myself had a bit of a drinking problem some 6 years ago now but my girl friend at the time took a very had line with me and to be honest I am glad she did. She wouldn't let me drink at all and if she caught me she said it would be the end straight away.

This worried me enough to actually not drink a thing for about 6-7 months and since then I haven't had a single problem. At the time I thought she was a controlling bitch meddling with my life but she had compassionate intentions, we hate admitting we are wrong!!

Xegh

 
If I continue to look at it as you're suggesting, I think we may be ok.  We went 'clam digging' again last night (sorry tmi?) which is something our relationship had been lacking.  Maybe that missing link was another one of our major problems.  He really enjoys clamming.

I will do my best to lighten up my drinking for awhile too.

Thanks again Xegh for the advice.  You da best!

 
Clamming always does wonders for me too! Kinda gives you a whole new perspective on things. At least for a minute or two /default_biggrin.png

 
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  1. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @eswen444 might be a little more difficult and involve a little more planning, as well as price increases on certain items, but all of those will still be available, trust.
  2. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @MorfineOrfan i’m sure they made good money off of it and took the shit off the shelves, but I bet you it’s still available if you ask for it upon request especially if they know your regular buyer. I, like you, just bought kilos online to save money back in the day. I would only buy your shit from the smoke shops if I was that desperate.
  3. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @MorfineOrfan like I said before I’m a recovering opiate addict so I choose not to touch the shit at all but I’ve been to smoke shops because I buy disposable vape products and other accessories, but every smoke shop I’ve been to over the last few years have had kratom “front and center” and easy to see. About 2/3 years ago 7oh products began appearing and it got completely out of control. I remember telling one of the owners of my regular shop that 7oh it’s not gonna end well
  4. E @ eswen444: *or post here. Holy spelling problems....but also for everyones info what im told is as of 8/1/2026 7oh, MIT, MGM, and other concentrates will be scheduled 1. Its an emergency schedule which lasts TWO YEARS and they can request an additional if needed. I feel horrible for all the homie/homettes who have to deal with this.
  5. E @ eswen444: @MorfineOrfan do you have a link to the chems the DEA blans to emergency schedule? If so please pm it to me or lost here. From what im told from my corporate over seers everything BUT raw leaf, and capsuled leaf will be removed from shelves 7/31/26
  6. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: We made it to another Friday ladies and gents. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend, be safe out there.
  7. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: @st1ckyf1ng4z i have no clue what the supply and demand is like for brick and mortar shops, i havnt been in a smokeshope in 15-20years and back then none of them had or even knew what kratom was. Ive always bought kratom from vendors online, back in tge day we would use babel fish translator to haggle with vendors on kilo prices lol. But you dont need to worry mit will always be available if leaf is.
  8. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: @nameofuser11 its not just 7/mgm/psuedo and sr, the dea has a huge list of compounds its banning with this ban. Odsmt is one, all the orphines and a ton more.
  9. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Lole onion sites?
  10. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: @eiffraffca what ya mean
  11. R @ Riffraffca: Has anyone used and markets on the Dark Web?
  12. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @nameofuser11 Lol, happens to the best of us my friend. I think plain leaf will remain pretty easy to access, and prices shouldn’t fluctuate too much. Read up on how to use btc if you don’t know already. It’s not rocket science :)
  13. nameofuser11 @ nameofuser11: I donated and I forgot how to get the password. I am a moron. Don't worry I have no plans on becoming a vendor with my stupidity
  14. nameofuser11 @ nameofuser11: @st1ckyf1ng4z you're right of course. But being able to purchase with a debit card on a clearnet site with quality labs and low prices will be gone.
  15. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: Especially if they’re using mitragynine as the parent alk to make substitutes. I think it will affect plain leaf too at the very least it will not be as available as it’s been.
  16. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @MorfineOrfan @nameofuser11 That’s wild. But basic supply/demand tho, right? In my area all the leaf has been pulled off shelves,
  17. J @ j00ciiez: It sucks they're banning sr17. It seems to be a holy grail for many ppl.
  18. nameofuser11 @ nameofuser11: To clarify plain leaf kratom is not a part of this ban. Mitragynine might be fine. 7, psuedo,mgm15 and sr1708 are what are on the table to be banned most likely but hopefully just regulated.
  19. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: @st1ckyf1ng4z and yes , there are already indole alkoloids with tweaked scaffolding ready to take the place of 7/mgm, all with mitragynine as their parent alkoloid. The game of wack a mole starts the minute 7 is officially banned. Its 2013 K2 all over
  20. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @MorfineOrfan Also, it’s just a matter of time before another alternative pops up on the market anyway….
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