Joke Of The Day

High Tide said:
In lieu of flowers Denise, heres a flower joke for you. /default_smile.png
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THANK YOU!  How sweet! 

And I love all flowers - what some people call weeds I call flowers, too - often argue about it.   

Had many a wildflower bouquet.  Made and wore clover jewelry - even as an adult (in my hair).   LOL

Hope you are mending and not in too much pain.    /default_smile.png

 
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem.
In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself".
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife. At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband.
As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to climax and fires the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked, "How did it go?"
The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired the pistol my wife crapped on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my mail man came out of the closet naked with his hands in the air!"

 
THANK YOU! How sweet!



And I love all flowers - what some people call weeds I call flowers, too - often argue about it.

Had many a wildflower bouquet. Made and wore clover jewelry - even as an adult (in my hair). LOL



Hope you are mending and not in too much pain.

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IDK why but I don't see the quotes option, perhaps it's not been posted long enough. But yes, I feel much better after getting some Etolac (sp?) anti-inflammatory from the Dr. I hope you read the bottom of my first post today, where I was able to quote your prior post. Much love to you for thinking of me.

I won't be on here much longer, got too much work and insurance stuff to take care of.

All the best my dear, all the time. And infinity X to you too. /default_wink.png

I say that and suddenly quote buttons are back. /default_huh.png

 
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Sorry a little off color but oh well!

He the teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

 
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This is obviously a comedy skit and not a joke per se, but I ran across this online this morning, and couldn't resist. Along with the Rick James skits, this is my absolute favorite Dave Chappelle sketch. And being a child of the 80's, it's even funnier! Definitely worth every bit of your 5 minute time investment, and after you watch it, don't forget to go purify yourselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka! LOL

And I apologize for the watermark in the video. For some reason, I can't get videos from anywhere other than YouTube to embed properly.

http://youtu.be/PaKHR6oe52Q

 
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hooter1 said:
Blouses. hahahahaha pancakes hahahahaha so fucked up
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Just proves that you can't judge a book by it's cover. Prince can straight up BALL yo! /default_laugh.png

 
That has been one of the funniest skits I had seen for awhile when it came out, pancakes hahahaha. What's funny is I think that was true!

Those Charlie Murphy stories were great, especially the Rick James one where Rick James is at the party and hits Charlie Murphy in the head and leaves the ring imprint.

"You can't make this shit up"

 
SmokeyJoe said:
That has been one of the funniest skits I had seen for awhile when it came out, pancakes hahahaha. What's funny is I think that was true!

Those Charlie Murphy stories were great, especially the Rick James one where Rick James is at the party and hits Charlie Murphy in the head and leaves the ring imprint.

"You can't make this shit up"
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Yes, as funny as the sketch is, and as ridiculous as it may otherwise seem, Prince was indeed a 5' 2" all-state high school basketball star at Minneapolis Central High School. No, seriously, I'm not kidding. Here's the yearbook picture from his sophomore year (1973-1974). I guess art really does imitate life!

Oh, and I want to know who the lone white dude is over on the far right. That's the most impressive Afro on the entire team, LOL. So much irony, so little time!

2djscp0.jpg


 
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That's odd and funny and at 5' 2" !? That was before having a little guy on the team was popular.

Yea I was thinking the same thing about the 'fro on the guy. Funny how styles change.

 
A drunken farmer comes home late one night holding a sheep under his arm. He walks into the bedroom and says "This is the pig I've been fucking!"

His wife says "You idiot! That's not a pig, that's a sheep!"

The farmer says "Will you shut the fuck up! I was talking to the sheep!"

 
2 boiled eggs in a pan of boiling water one turns to the other and says fuc##ng hot in here init

He replies wait till ya get out they smash ya fuc##ng head in. ......

Boom boom

 
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Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. xenxra @ xenxra: step 1 - stack yo bread / step 2 - go to bed
  2. xenxra @ xenxra: just keep it one hunna playa, it's really simple
  3. O @ oh be g: pull your pants up too son
  4. O @ oh be g: "keep it one hunnid," wtf is ths
  5. xenxra @ xenxra: every day is friday
  6. 3 @ 3ak: @xenxra damn shame, can't find any of the rc stims
  7. xenxra @ xenxra: @3ak mostly, will prob be gone entirely by end of summer imo
  8. F @ frozenSR17: hope everyone has a nice start 2 their weekend. "keep it one hunnid," as someone once said to me
  9. 3 @ 3ak: 4f-mph dried up?
  10. xenxra @ xenxra: pretty sure black also went rogue sometime late last year
  11. Strawhat7 @ Strawhat7: Yo, whatever happened to Mr. Black? Just got a rando email from him after ghosting me like a year and a half ago
  12. LW815 @ LW815: Know what’s really going on in somebody else’s head or how much they’re really dealing with and feel like they’re left with no other options. Been a very sad few days but 2 complete (irl anyway) strangers cared enough about what I was going through to talk to me about it, though they owe me nothing and have no reason to help my personal pain other than the kindness in their own hearts. Just shows that this place is a real community, not just a forum of people who only care about themselves.
  13. LW815 @ LW815: Was nodding in/out the entire time writing those shouts and spparently was fully out sending the last one lol. But II find it ‘uplifting’ as two people I’ve never actually met and only know the others online presence through subscriptions, who I have a better chance of getting a handy J from Jesus Christ himself, both were so quick to share their own experience and wise words and assurances that things will look up and not to feel guilty or be mad at somebody for going that route - as you never
  14. xenxra @ xenxra: @hotdog45 meh, same difference. they both got blacklisted on here. wouldn't be the first time a rogue shop sent out unsolicited comms after the fact.
  15. MOD @ MOD: Hello @everyone
  16. LW815 @ LW815: Own personal experience with this kind of this type kind of situation and sympathized with my pain when I really just needed somebody to talk to. Both went out of their way to help a stranger in a time of need when I really needed somebody, and body to talk to. MM
  17. LW815 @ LW815: Sent a simple conf email and I just dropped a ball on them. I really just needed to let it out, didn’t expect them to reply in such a thoughtful way that it drastically changed the rest of my day and mindset for the bette . Above and beyond - and the last night while chatting with another that I knew had at least once one child,, so i wished them a belated happy Father’s Day, which again caused me to spill it all to them and again received the most thoughtful and kind response, as well as their-
  18. LW815 @ LW815: They didn’t need to. They could have just continued on with the nature or the main purpose of what the relationship between us is, I didn’t really have anybody else to let it out to at the time and they both went far beyond what I’d expect. Not that I’d assumed they’re cold/A-holes - it was just a lot from somebody who’s technically a competent stranger. A very close friend of mine committed suicide on Father’s Day and iwas emotionally wrecked witih nobody to talk to, and the first author just
  19. LW815 @ LW815: @Mokachin0 not really uplifting in the normal sense, but two popular authors on here took the time out of their likely very busy days to not only read my massive walls of text, but both also replied with the most kind, thoughtful and positive responses when I randomly dumped my personal problems into their laps
  20. H @ hotdog45: I have never ordered mags from him I meant
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