Joke Of The Day

[Denise]

In lieu of flowers Denise, heres a flower joke for you. /default_smile.png

THANK YOU!  How sweet! 

And I love all flowers - what some people call weeds I call flowers, too - often argue about it.   

Had many a wildflower bouquet.  Made and wore clover jewelry - even as an adult (in my hair).   LOL

Hope you are mending and not in too much pain.    /default_smile.png

 

[High Tide]

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem.
In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself".
That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion out he runs home to his wife. At home his wife is in bed, naked and waiting on her husband.
As the two begin, they find themselves in the '69' position. The man, moments later, feels the sudden urge to climax and fires the starter pistol. The next day, the man went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked, "How did it go?"
The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired the pistol my wife crapped on my face, bit 3 inches off my penis and my mail man came out of the closet naked with his hands in the air!"

 

[High Tide]

THANK YOU! How sweet!



And I love all flowers - what some people call weeds I call flowers, too - often argue about it.

Had many a wildflower bouquet. Made and wore clover jewelry - even as an adult (in my hair). LOL



Hope you are mending and not in too much pain.

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IDK why but I don't see the quotes option, perhaps it's not been posted long enough. But yes, I feel much better after getting some Etolac (sp?) anti-inflammatory from the Dr. I hope you read the bottom of my first post today, where I was able to quote your prior post. Much love to you for thinking of me.

I won't be on here much longer, got too much work and insurance stuff to take care of.

All the best my dear, all the time. And infinity X to you too. /default_wink.png

I say that and suddenly quote buttons are back. /default_huh.png

 

[kittykat]

Sorry a little off color but oh well!

He the teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

 

[kittykat]

[No message]

 

[kittykat]

Disregard tis put in another tread

 

[Jewbacca]

This is obviously a comedy skit and not a joke per se, but I ran across this online this morning, and couldn't resist. Along with the Rick James skits, this is my absolute favorite Dave Chappelle sketch. And being a child of the 80's, it's even funnier! Definitely worth every bit of your 5 minute time investment, and after you watch it, don't forget to go purify yourselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka! LOL

And I apologize for the watermark in the video. For some reason, I can't get videos from anywhere other than YouTube to embed properly.

http://youtu.be/PaKHR6oe52Q

 

[Jewbacca]

Blouses. hahahahaha pancakes hahahahaha so fucked up

Just proves that you can't judge a book by it's cover. Prince can straight up BALL yo! /default_laugh.png

 

[Jewbacca]

Blouses. hahahahaha pancakes hahahahaha so fucked up

Want some grapes?!

 

[Smokeyjoe]

That has been one of the funniest skits I had seen for awhile when it came out, pancakes hahahaha. What's funny is I think that was true!

Those Charlie Murphy stories were great, especially the Rick James one where Rick James is at the party and hits Charlie Murphy in the head and leaves the ring imprint.

"You can't make this shit up"

 

[Jewbacca]

That has been one of the funniest skits I had seen for awhile when it came out, pancakes hahahaha. What's funny is I think that was true!

Those Charlie Murphy stories were great, especially the Rick James one where Rick James is at the party and hits Charlie Murphy in the head and leaves the ring imprint.

"You can't make this shit up"

Yes, as funny as the sketch is, and as ridiculous as it may otherwise seem, Prince was indeed a 5' 2" all-state high school basketball star at Minneapolis Central High School. No, seriously, I'm not kidding. Here's the yearbook picture from his sophomore year (1973-1974). I guess art really does imitate life!

Oh, and I want to know who the lone white dude is over on the far right. That's the most impressive Afro on the entire team, LOL. So much irony, so little time!

 

[Smokeyjoe]

That's odd and funny and at 5' 2" !? That was before having a little guy on the team was popular.

Yea I was thinking the same thing about the 'fro on the guy. Funny how styles change.

 

[99 Luftballons]

 

[99 Luftballons]

BTW, this was my wedding pic with my 1st wife....don't judge....I should have gotten the idea but I'm a bit slow.

 

[Ck11kid]

A drunken farmer comes home late one night holding a sheep under his arm. He walks into the bedroom and says "This is the pig I've been fucking!"

His wife says "You idiot! That's not a pig, that's a sheep!"

The farmer says "Will you shut the fuck up! I was talking to the sheep!"

 

[Beranda]

BTW, this was my wedding pic with my 1st wife....don't judge....I should have gotten the idea but I'm a bit slow.

Don't beat yourself up too much, she looks like she would have been a nurturing mother, so I can see the appeal...

 

[99 Luftballons]

WTF?

 

[99 Luftballons]

This was my second wife...she was never the same.

 

[Estamijn]

Good one

 

[doctoryes]

2 boiled eggs in a pan of boiling water one turns to the other and says fuc##ng hot in here init

He replies wait till ya get out they smash ya fuc##ng head in. ......

Boom boom