Marriage is not what I'd hoped

If I said my full name, with middle and confirmation names included, you would laugh.......something like mary catherine gallagher o'malley

 
Damn I can relate Cat, I just posted about my husband not having sex with me making up stupid excuses but then I find all these porn sites on his history, I don't want a second failed marriage, been cleaning, cooking new things for him, don't know what to do! I'm 46 and don't want to go through the whole dating game thing again, don't want a third time is the charm! Any advice on how you are doing it or making it? Thanks in advance! Lee

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 
Heavenlee, my best advice to you is get out.i saw on your other post that he hit you. I know you want to fix him but go stay somewhere else while he gets help. If he does not get help dont go back. That is the best advice i can give you. Love ya girl!

 
once a hitter always a hitter, get out soon.I know it isn't easy but you should create a plan and leave.People have to fix themselves you can't do it for him.

 
Agreed. Once a hand is lifted it's game over. Your worth more than that.

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

 
Maybesomeday said:
Just wondering if anyone is out there with advice on how to make a relationship better or how to survive getting out. Not ready to talk this out with real life friends, so figured I'd start here.
Click to expand...
Funny, I'd rather be married than single. You can split the bills, have someone there with you all the time etc. I dunno....being single isn't all that great either. The dating scene is horrible and nobody seems to be serious these days.

 
My husband and I have separated 3 times during our 15 yrs of marriage. The second time we got back together purely for the sake kf our daughter and it didn't take long for us to start hating eachother. The 3rd time I actually filed for divorce and had a relationship for 3 months. Going that far really made me think and when my hubby and I actually stopped fighting long enough to talk we realized we still really loved eachother. I think the biggest thing that tore us apart was expectations. Me expecting him to make me feel good about myself. Thinking that the lack of bedroom relations was because of him not being attracted to me anymore and him expecting me to leave him alone when he needed his space and not understanding that I just wanted to spend time with him. When we learned to compromise and not put pressure on eachother for those things we got along great. Ive learned to be happy with myself no matter how he treats me and ive also learned that a kiss a hug or a touch goes a long way. No man wants to sleep with a wife whos constantly nagging and bitching. When I give him his space hes a very nice pleasant person to be around. So my advice. Stop expecting so much out of eachother and maybe try actually leaving. Maybe you both really need some time apart. Good luck.

 
Oh I just saw that he hit you..hellll no. Leave!!! The bf I had hit me in the face and that is what started me thinking about my husband again. Not once has my husband ever laid a hand on me. Nor would he ever. There is never a good excuse for that crap. Ever!!!

 
Sorry, I just saw the hitting part too.....let him step honey. It's never gonna stop.

 
Silver Shadow,

I posted earlier under the "So I'm getting a Divorce" thread....so maybe I have divorce on my brain today. I think your advice about marriage is quite accurate. And it's admirable to separate and reconnect several times - and find the root cause of the tension. My therapist told me yesterday the success to a long term healthy marriage is staying interested in each other. She cited a study that monitored married couples and their response to things like, "Come look at this pretty bird." If the partner came to look at it, and showed interest, they were more likely to stay coupled. However, if the partner showed no interest in viewing the "pretty bird" it translated to not showing interest in his/her partner. Which ultimately led to the demise of marriage and the uncoupling process.

From my experience, married 11-years and recently divorced, my former spouse (herein referred to as douchebag) - never showed interest in my opinions (actually he was quite the contrarian), my feelings, my day...he just liked being married to the image of a beautiful, intelligent woman. He loved my image - not me. And when our first daughter was born...four years after being married, the withdrawal process began. Because now I was a SAHM - and that image of a beautiful, intelligent woman diminished quickly and was replaced by an overtired, distracted Mommy. Our second daughter was conceived IUI because sex/intimacy became unnecessary. So while I was home with a newborn and a two-year old (born 2-years and 5-days apart), douchebag accepted a job in NYC (we live in GA), played tennis on the weekends, napped, zoned the fuck-out....but was definitely not present or involved in family life.

And that Asian Bride thread - God! Reminds me soooo much of me....always trying to work harder, never asked for "self" time, managed and organized his family and home life so he wasn't burdened with any decisions, prepared homemade meals 3X a day, paid all the bills, did all the errands, never nagged....but he withdrew more and more. He had complete freedom. In the year 2012, based on phone records, he called me 26 times - and he worked in NYC!!! He said he didn't like to call because I always "bitched" about my day! When in reality, I was just sharing my day - and if I wasn't blowing Sunshine out my ass he considered comments like, "I brought the dogs to the Vet today and the girls were really hyper in the waiting room," as being overtly negative.

After our children were born, we could just never connect at any level. And I did try over and over to communicate with him - but vacant stares were all I received.

"But I got a blank space baby, and I'll write your name!"

Bloom

 
We have a saying in my country that a woman is marrying hoping that the man will change, and the man is marrying hoping that the woman will not change.

Obviously none of them receives what he/she was expecting :)

 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. ClintEastwood @ ClintEastwood: Just wondering if anyone well trusted has a supply of research thienos or benz in powders for good average prices? Or could give a shout out from me to him? Or the best lowest per each? I’ve seen some cool and some i just know are worth it. Good price rv presses too but it is much more bang for your buck. I have one good vendor. But am looking for variety’s well. Send me a message or reply if you think any. Thanks - CLINT E. Any Heavy stuff too which all seem about the ssmmmmmm
  2. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: I always thought I should’ve been born in a much earlier time but I will say, i do enjoy my Xbox and occasional TV series tho 😂
  3. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: I just wish the opioid epidemic never happened. Fk the turn of the century (which would be cool no doubt)! Many of my friends and family would’ve ended up in asylums like so many others. I just wish I could get back all those I’ve lost since the start
  4. L @ Layne_Cobain: 1914 I meant
  5. L @ Layne_Cobain: I often wish I lived during the turn of the century or at least before the Harrison narcotics act or whatever I think it was 1924 the fun ended but anyway yeh being able to get laudanum, ❄️ and amphetamine at the local friendly pharmacy
  6. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Chew on the leaves with a bit of slaked lime and enjoy the mild boost you get from the raw base.
  7. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I’m sure you know the folks in the mountainous regions along South Americas pacific side buy cócà leaves at the local farmers market just to help acclimate to the higher elevation when they have to head up into the hills.
  8. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I would certainly have bought it, swilled it, enjoyed it…. Why not? A little boost in your juice isn’t going to hurt anyone.
  9. R @ Royboy99: Exports were reported to have around 7.2mg per FL OZ, it’s success is what actually led to Coca Cola
  10. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Having cramps and husband thinks you’re acting hysterical (ie. PMS) the doc would either perform a certain massage to relieve the strains of motherhood and family life of that time or send you down to the local apothecary for a bottle of laudanum… A tincture of alcohol and 10% òpìųm. Fun days huh?
  11. R @ Royboy99: @malestrom: yeah thats it, my bad Mariani, yeah i considered that and also its ROA, which was oral so the bioavailability was lower than insufflation, higher degree of purity tho and longer duration … there was a significant marked increase of patents filed by Edison during the time it was released in the US. Presidents were known to use it as well, and the Queen. The pope awarded the wine the Vatican gold medal award
  12. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: I think it was called vin Mariani. But yeah, it was all the rave back in the turn to the 20th century. Original formula Coca Cola did it for a while too. I think it was pretty weak though. Something like 200 mg per liter of wine. Enough to maybe give you a little push but unless you could pound some serious alcohol, it’d be hard to really feel the effects before the ethyl knocked you down on the ground. It was an interesting time period. Laudanum was a “hysterical” woman’s best friend.
  13. R @ Royboy99: Maybe it’s the admixture of my South American dna that works so well with it ? 🤷
  14. R @ Royboy99: It’s all evident in memory recall, my emails, meetings, … people invest everything they have in a nootropic that provides this… desperately searching without success and it’s right there right under their nose (no pun) … stigmatized by society and outlawed.
  15. R @ Royboy99: Now I’m not foolish or delusional to think that it made Edison who he was … it just allowed him to Edison to Edison to a greater degree … and I see it doing that for me and others who use it as a productive tool and not a substance of abuse.. you can look at this data with the level of patents filed by Edison during that time … comparable to Barry bonds or McGuire breaking records while they were subtly enhanced
  16. R @ Royboy99: One could argue that we would not have motion pictures if it wasn’t for ❄️
  17. R @ Royboy99: I also take month long breaks and replace with Ritalin for receptor recovery
  18. R @ Royboy99: And while it may sound insane and completely destructive … small microdoses of ❄️ has really transformed me. I did extensive research on its use by Edison, the pope at the time, and many others who got great benefit from a wine concoction called vin Mariani … this subtle enhancement changed the world and as long its used with a high degree of control, it’s amazing. you may think I’m crazy … but I’m just being as transparent as I can
  19. R @ Royboy99: I’ve grown to realize that my time is finite and Im only getting older… I’m back to relying on small PRN doses of FDA trialed BZDs and it’s made tremendous improvements to my quality of life. I just need to get out there more and meet someone new, it’s the only piece that’s missing since I’ve managed to get it together
  20. R @ Royboy99: @LatsDoodis: thanks brother … I’ve spent months trying to put myself in uncomfortable places to grow stronger. Hours of research, thousands on supplements, therapy etc …
Back
Top