Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: One of the best playoff weekends in my recent memory.
  2. shoutback @ shoutback: This weekend has had some crazy games. Pleasantly surprised with this season
  3. L @ Layne_Cobain: Happy playoff Sunday @tiquanunderwood some great games what a choke job by the pack last nite…both games so far today 🔥 niners gonna b without kittle tho Achilles
  4. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy playoff Sunday! Everyone alive?
  5. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Good game.
  6. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: It swung the other way and they were leading up until 4 min
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Plus you turned it over twice early. They could've easily took the momentum and players start to give up.
  8. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Enjoy man! Much love!
  9. L @ Layne_Cobain: Now let’s see what’s going on with this packers bears game… enjoy buddy!!
  10. L @ Layne_Cobain: I am dude no doubt all the shit talking about us making it 10.5 point dogs played our asses off disappointing to say the least and again FUCK prevent D but couldn’t have asked for a better more competitive game
  11. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: You should be proud of.tnem
  12. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: But.your guys fought hard man! @Layne_Cobaim
  13. L @ Layne_Cobain: Every time, fuck evero for that bs playcalling at the end again proud as hell but damn this one hurts
  14. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood glad you’re good bro…I’m proud af of how the boys played no one gave us a shot but holy hell did we choke playing that godddamn soft prevent D fails
  15. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Sorry @Layne_Cobain You lost in one of the many ravens like ways
  16. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Excited for someone new! And whoever gets the job should be stoked.
  17. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: But yeah that whole season made me want to throw up
  18. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain I was pretty busy with holidays and working
  19. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain I'm back! Ready for a coaching hunt! Rooting for your panthers today.
  20. Realbenzeyes @ Realbenzeyes: Hopefully it will just be a good game. Watching TCU’s natty run was about the worst it can get. Please don’t give us another blow out 60 min lol
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