Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Hope everyone had a good day! First day back at work after a week of vacation and it went better than expected :)
  2. W @ WestTex88: Auctus
  3. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @AlHoffman69 thanks so much man. I do my best to contribute valuable info :)
  4. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Good morning!
  5. cannedgoods @ cannedgoods: Good morning brothers! Time to get back to the grind this week! Blessings and more money to all of you!
  6. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: @tiquanunderwood you as well brother love your involvment learned alot of your posts :coffee:
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @AlHoffman69 stay safe brother 😂 😂
  8. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: when my feet hit the floor in the AM I want my foes to think fuck HES UP!!!!!
  9. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Artemis was as far as I know through fellow friends and reviews. Haven't ordered myself though.
  10. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy Sunday! Took a weeks vacation for the first time in 2 years. Much needed.
  11. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: Any1 know is Artemis is legit??
  12. Acidwizard @ Acidwizard: Superb Sunday Y'all!
  13. CalFresh @ CalFresh: @AIHoffman69: ☕? haha, yeh right
  14. A @ Anonmist: Nm
  15. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: man I'll be glad when I can sleep thru one damn night happy weekend all :coffee: :coffee: :coffee: 🥸
  16. JackOBlades @ JackOBlades: Helllloooo friends :-)
  17. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: hell yes it's FRIDAY 🙏🏻💵💰✨✨💎💎
  18. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: Well we did it ladies and gents, we made it to another Friday 🙌
  19. L @ Layne_Cobain: Same dude I got $$ on the series I was about to cash out when they were getting stomped and just take basically my stake back boy am I glad I didn’t ;)
  20. brainchem @ brainchem: Hahah yeah exactly. I had some money on it and my little heart was beating out of my chest for the last 3 minutes
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