Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  4. fyjclol @ fyjclol: Also wondering what happened to the guy with the btc predictions. And +1 for fooseball
  5. L @ LW815: 90% of the time when I see it, it’s being used for exactly what it’s not supposed to be used for(with the exception of you and Layne talking fooseball)
  6. L @ LW815: I’d say it’s fair enough game to discuss whatever you wanna discuss(within the rules ofc) and if people don’t like it oh well. It’s not like the shoutbox is constantly popping off with other discussion lol
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Well sorry if I bother anyone with my sports talk :) much love to all. Happy holidays.
  8. Gracie5 @ Gracie5: Shout box is for sports, hey, Happy Thanksgiving. It’s not for those other things people like to bring up. Please use or start a thread in the appropriate place.
  9. L @ LW815: Better to push other worse discussions out of sight IMO and see random sport shit, but also kinda makes it hard to have that content removed if need be. I don’t know how to view the entire shoutbox recent history but I know it’s possible lol so it’s both a good and bad thing tbh
  10. Ketmaster @ Ketmaster: exactly
  11. L @ LW815: I agree @Ketmaster but their lengthy sport discussions usually tend to happen at convenient times, like when somebody is talking about or asking things that the shoutbox also isn’t meant for(that are worse than random sport talks)
  12. Ketmaster @ Ketmaster: I appreciate the good vibes but I agree sports stuff should like be in a thread or PM or something, not a sports guy so it is kinda like wtf is happening people are messaging each other in a shoutbox
  13. T @ timyboy: Where is the guy with the BTC predictions?
  14. F @ Floaty: like them using the shout box tbh, its appreciated good vibes. Not sure if the box has another purpose seems like its the correct use though
  15. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain Yeah I'll start a thread for us in the Sports section later this morning.
  16. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain Yeah I hated Canales' playcalling. Run the ball. That's what 9ers did since they knew it'd be that type of game. But at the same time, the panthers have a young core, and that was their biggest game in years lol. I understand MNF throwing off the passing game sync and shit just from being hyped up.
  17. L @ luquitoad: Yall should start a sports thread and keep it out of the shoutbox..... just a suggestion .
  18. L @ Layne_Cobain: I don’t think we’ll be in prime time again anytime soon 😂
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