Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. moai @ moai: 7-OH, Kratom itself, are now banned in my state. I’m dependent on 7oh and don’t have much left. I’m going to need SR-17018 or something ASAP, I’ve been needing to get off anyway, but I’m begging anyone to help me in one direction or another.
  2. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: His dbg name, last name is Prophet full name on his email is "Dean Prophet" SCAMMER he ussed my dbg pofile to ty toi scam hr sood for her shde already knoew me and knew it was not jy witintg or tyoe
  3. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: I greately appreciate the support and messages form all the FOR ALL THE SUPPORT
  4. B @ bromadeitpam: Is the man
  5. B @ bromadeitpam: Fingerofgod
  6. Iatepacman @ Iatepacman: @st1ckyf1ng4z That's all I wanted, a meaningful game
  7. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @Iatepacman hell yeah a W is a W… hoping for same result on Monday in Seattle vs Belgium. I know we are heavy underdog but if we keep playing at the level we’ve been playing at, I think there’s a chance.
  8. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: Hey all juyst want to say I was made aware by a member that somneone had tried to use my dbg profile to mislead her?? so Just letting everyone know if you rec any messages from me I am not to sure who it is?? and I have no idea what was said or done but not cool I have loved bieng a part of this community This truly is a special place that has helpedme so much with eveyrthihng thank you gusys
  9. Iatepacman @ Iatepacman: @st1ckyf1ng4z Fr tho, that red was kinda bogus. W's a W though ⚽
  10. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy 4th of July weekend everyone. We made it. Unfortunately broke up with my girlfriend today, but needed to happen. Much love everyone! Be safe!
  11. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: @AlHoffman69 yesss , the law of attraction. ❤️‍🔥
  12. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: Have a great week, this has been an incredible wek its amazing the better human you are the more doors that open wish more folks would understaned that
  13. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @Iatepacman managed to get the W. idk bout that red card call though… even though it ended up being inconsequential
  14. MAFTEESKI @ MAFTEESKI: @CalFresh I just Dm you homie thanks for your support🙏
  15. CalFresh @ CalFresh: Hi All, just stopped by for some hi-jinx. I had my fun. Then @MAFTEESKI made me cry. Stay Gold! -CAL
  16. CalFresh @ CalFresh: @MAFTEESKI Fuck Dude. seriously? HMU. I got you.
  17. Iatepacman @ Iatepacman: My prediction for today’s match 🇺🇸 USA: 2 🇧🇦 Bosnia: 1 -gonna be a close one, but I think USA just sneak it, probably with some late-game stress for no reason
  18. Pharma Daddy @ Pharma Daddy: France look unstoppable
  19. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @drdrizzy13 🇫🇷 just be crushing everybody in their path, hope USA beats Bosnia tomorrow and Canada can get the W against Morocco on the 4th (however unlikely)
  20. MAFTEESKI @ MAFTEESKI: Hey friends long time no see! Unfortunately got scammed real hard and lost a little over 5 figures and slowly trying to get back in tune. Anyone offering any sanples to help a young brotha out? I hate beggin but it’s been too long lol so hmu if you’re feelin generous:)
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