Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. D @ dichlorodavid: Ah thanks for the clarity on the strike. I wasnt aware that this is cont'd from the 2024 strike. Hope they reach terms this time (quickly!)
  2. CnC5 @ CnC5: @hotdog45 thanks brother right back at you!
  3. P @ psychedpsych: @hotdog45 thanks brother you too!
  4. H @ hotdog45: Hey really hoping everyone is doing well. Just want to send my love to you all
  5. xenxra @ xenxra: good luck
  6. xenxra @ xenxra: i'm surprised none of the CA-US shops have a notice up about it
  7. Alkazar @ Alkazar: It is really annoying\
  8. Alkazar @ Alkazar: Technically they were forced back to work the last time they went on strike in 2024, so this is the same strike for the same reasons in 2025.
  9. Alkazar @ Alkazar: I dont know how to direct reply to people on here. But the Canada Post strike will affect any mail coming from the US. It will be held at a facility until the striek is over. Mail that is being sent from CAD to the US will just not be picked up. It all has to be private delivery services now.
  10. Z @ zdaBa: Happy Saturday, love you all <3
  11. CnC5 @ CnC5: @Flydaddy5000 Welcome Friend glad you like it here DBG is definitely a great place!
  12. CnC5 @ CnC5: Good Morning DBG i hope you're having a great weekend so far!
  13. Flydaddy5000 @ Flydaddy5000: I’m starting to dig this place and some of the folks in it! Not gonna lie I was sooo skeptical about this place until I wasn’t. Donate and you won’t be pissed off. I
  14. xenxra @ xenxra: @LW815 from my experience, CP strikes usually tend to leave the snails alone
  15. xenxra @ xenxra: I hardly knew her!
  16. C @ Callmejonah: methadone
  17. LW815 @ LW815: @Alkazar would that effect snail mail arriving to the US from CA in any impactful way?
  18. CnC5 @ CnC5: @Alkazar wow again? Smh!
  19. Alkazar @ Alkazar: FYI - Canada Post is on strike
  20. I @ Irishchestzip: @MapleLeaf canva is great too!
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