Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Cant wait to grow some more muscle, its a hassle but the results convince me to keep doing it
  2. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Omg i get my 2 45lb plates tomorrow
  3. CherryPinkxX @ CherryPinkxX: @eswen444 lmao I'm so glad I'm not the only one. My hubby used to get pissed at me cus I'd wake up with popsicles sticks stuck in my hair and melted ice cream all over our bed. I'd blame it on the sleep eats...
  4. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: You too! @AlHoffman69
  5. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: hope all is having a great weekend :)
  6. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy Sunday!
  7. R @ Royboy99: Im gonna try CGs Bolivian and hope the coca gods are nice to me
  8. R @ Royboy99: Who has the best soft? This last batch I copped got my nostrils burning so hard it’s making me question the meaning of life
  9. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Least im.nkt alone though
  10. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Its wild because I usually remember right before being like "im hungry, im gonna be up awhile" or im just gonna rest my eyes for a second, then boom! I wake up its been lilke 14hrs, im always like what the fuck!!
  11. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Neato
  12. E @ eswen444: @MrFuszy dont feel bad i fall asleep eating bowls of ice cream, creamsicles, and drumsticks in bed all the time. The piles of melted ice cream ive woken up to all over my torso is embarrassingly high 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
  13. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Oooooo dbg gets spicy 💲, i c opportunity
  14. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Someone crazier than me.
  15. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: You know whats crazy?
  16. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: @CalFresh
  17. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: I dm
  18. CherryPinkxX @ CherryPinkxX: @MrFuszy I would definitely give @CalFresh a try instead of going the diy route. Prices are extremely fair and quality is exceptional. (y)
  19. CalFresh @ CalFresh: @MrFuszy I solved your DMT problem. HMU for details.
  20. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: @Admin that was probably my bad brother, I'm not a vendor but i know i don't know when to shut up sometime, so i probably contributed to that. My apologies
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