Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. Thoth @ Thoth: Happy Vet’s day to every one out there protecting our beautiful country!
  2. DougBreyers @ DougBreyers: @xenxra Yeah, and then you went right up to the conductor's quarter and stuck your stinky feet in his face. Could have waited until the train made a complete stop, BUT NOOOOOO
  3. Hankhill @ Hankhill: Happy veterans day to all the vets. I have much respect for those who served, thank you for your service.
  4. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: happy veterans day!
  5. xenxra @ xenxra: @Maloofgreen he was driving the train
  6. xenxra @ xenxra: 🙃 🙂
  7. DougBreyers @ DougBreyers: @Maloofgreen @duckbutterz they had a bathroom emergency.
  8. N @ necromedic: 🙏
  9. DougBreyers @ DougBreyers: @necromedic came for the knowledge, stayed for the community.
  10. N @ necromedic: I came for the knowledge, I stayed for the community, I habitually check the box and threads every day at 0600 to see who is now questioning their life choices due to a comment by @xenxra.
  11. M @ Maloofgreen: What happened to @rockychoc?
  12. xenxra @ xenxra: he got hit by a train
  13. D @ duckbutterz: Hey what happened to cnc aka chemicals n chains. Their site is down and haven't found any info
  14. D @ duckbutterz: Hey what happenedto
  15. L @ Layne_Cobain: Happy football Sunday y’all enjoy your day whether watching the games or doing your own thang ✌️
  16. cannedgoods @ cannedgoods: Howdy DBG members! Hope yall have a great evening! :cool:
  17. P @ Poppycock: @kemdawg99 hey yeah that would be great if you could! Can we private message?
  18. kemdawg99 @ kemdawg99: @Poppycock
  19. Thoth @ Thoth: Everybody cool out there? I seem to be having issues with my go to pie easy as 1, 2 3
  20. LatsDoodis @ LatsDoodis: Yeah, lots of people don’t have a team and this season had some players put on the bench with some nasty fouls charged by the people watching with courtside seats. I know he was nearly assigned some state-subsidized housing but walked off the court on his date all alone, beat himself off, too. But with home security incident and other players getting thrown out the game for having too much screen time here and elsewhere, he must have just needed to quit the game and not get captured in the love
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