Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. jillybeans @ jillybeans: I keep messing up my days 🙄I thought today was Wednesday
  2. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy almost Wednesday! Fuck can't wait for this work week to be over. Much love <3
  3. A @ AnnaSofia: It’s totally ok @RonaldDonald i don’t own the place! It’s just for safety and stuff. My heart goes out to you. Lord knows I know how u feel. So many of us do. I’m glad we have people to lean on here.
  4. RonaldDonald @ RonaldDonald: @AnnaSofia my bad. I’m just really down bad right now. And yes we are all over his thread. I’ll keep the SB positive I’m sorry.
  5. A @ AnnaSofia: Thanks @Deepnorth !!
  6. Deepnorth @ Deepnorth: @AnnaSofia absolutely. Sometimes I cringe when I look at the shop box because I never knew what I’m going to see but I think you worded it very well.
  7. A @ AnnaSofia: I got cut off. .. be careful that it’s not some non-verified vend trying to swoop in and scam if u do post “who offers it.” Amd finally, I know I’m guilty but try to keep this stuff to DM’s or the forum threads instead of SB. Good luck Ronald!
  8. A @ AnnaSofia: whoever you guys are talking about I hope you have posted your experience in his thread so people know. I agree with Layne that a brand new vend is more likely to want to save the day. But also be careful
  9. RonaldDonald @ RonaldDonald: @st1ckyf1ng4z I wish I could man. I’m rural and new to town idk anyone.
  10. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: Hit the b10cķ if you’re in a p!nch, depending on where you are located that book is not hard to find. @RonaldDonald
  11. L @ Layne_Cobain: @RonaldDonald post your question about anyone who can express 4 or overnight in the “who offers it” thread maybe get a hit from one of these new vendors with that on the menu there’s a good # of them now
  12. L @ Layne_Cobain: I know he talked such a good game with me when I emailed and in his thread @RonaldDonald and your right begging for ppl to leave good review but then ghosts everyone not a good look at all
  13. RonaldDonald @ RonaldDonald: @Layne_Cobain I have not :( and still nothing on ID. I’m freaking out and WDs are coming very soon. Idk why this dude cant just say something. I really trusted him, I could have/should have went with my regular. But no, homie was begging for good reviews and now he does some ghosting to new custees (3-4 of us) not good. ANYONE KNOW AN EXPRESS OR OVERNIGHT/2nd DAY with some #4
  14. Sakshi @ Sakshi: Finally got my lazy ass around to donating, whats crackin fam
  15. L @ Layne_Cobain: Hear anything @RonaldDonald ?
  16. RonaldDonald @ RonaldDonald: Really hoping this day gets better. Alllll I need is someone who respects peoples time, money and concerns. Why is that so hard for some people. I’m as respectful as I possibly can be until I can’t anymore. PLEASE just stick to your word vendors. I know I’m not the only one.
  17. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: Monday, here we go again! Have a good start to your week everyone!
  18. cannedgoods @ cannedgoods: Have a great week ahead brothers and sisters!
  19. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy almost NFL sunday!
  20. P @ privateprez: Hope everyone's having a wonderful Sunday. Stay safe!
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