Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy weekend!
  2. B @ Benchod87: Who got that etizolam magazine in Canada?
  3. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: good day all here's to a great week 😎
  4. proton369 @ proton369: 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
  5. Acidwizard @ Acidwizard: Thrilling Thursday everybody!
  6. CalFresh @ CalFresh: sup y'all. want to say thanks for the positive reception, feedback, and vibes in general. The positivity has been well needed. Hope you all are having a fantastic day, week, month, year, lifetime!
  7. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: hey friendly Canadian welcome to the club from typical pompous arrogant American lol joking on a serious note welcome and hey 🙏🏻
  8. B @ Benchod87: Hi guys, you’re typical friendly Canadian joining the club
  9. S @ SlowMo33: For each and every one of you.
  10. S @ SlowMo33: Hope everyone had a good Memorial Day and remembered what the weekend was really about. As a combat wounded vet I lost a lot of brothers and sisters in my 3 tours. I’m glad to see some people posting that you appreciate it. And I did my service
  11. xenxra @ xenxra: project beast ripper engaged
  12. Acidwizard @ Acidwizard: Terrific Tuesday everybody!
  13. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy Monday! :)
  14. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: Good fucking post @herbs&spice folks have no clue the sacrifices our troops and there families make all for our benefit take a min to always offer respect to a service men/women it's the least we can do SEMPER FI
  15. proton369 @ proton369: 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
  16. H @ Herbs&spices: im a day late on this, but i agree with what some of you said earlier, God Bless our troops. alot of us take our civil rights and freedom in this country for granted without giving proper appreciation the men and women responsible for us having said rights and freedom
  17. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: I agree with big shout out to all my fallen brothers and sisters that put there lives on the line so we can appreciate our amazing civlil rights and liberties, today iis for them thinking bout you TK/MD/JS/RJ
  18. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy Memorial Day! Grateful for those that have served their life for us, and especially those that have died as a result of the United States' draconian "War on DRG$ Laws.
  19. xenxra @ xenxra: a lifestyle choice is typically a goal-oriented decision
  20. lucas007 @ lucas007: Health is not a goal, it’s a daily lifestyle choice.
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