Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. R @ Riffraffca: Has anyone used and markets on the Dark Web?
  2. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @nameofuser11 Lol, happens to the best of us my friend. I think plain leaf will remain pretty easy to access, and prices shouldn’t fluctuate too much. Read up on how to use btc if you don’t know already. It’s not rocket science :)
  3. nameofuser11 @ nameofuser11: I donated and I forgot how to get the password. I am a moron. Don't worry I have no plans on becoming a vendor with my stupidity
  4. nameofuser11 @ nameofuser11: @st1ckyf1ng4z you're right of course. But being able to purchase with a debit card on a clearnet site with quality labs and low prices will be gone.
  5. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: Especially if they’re using mitragynine as the parent alk to make substitutes. I think it will affect plain leaf too at the very least it will not be as available as it’s been.
  6. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @MorfineOrfan @nameofuser11 That’s wild. But basic supply/demand tho, right? In my area all the leaf has been pulled off shelves,
  7. J @ j00ciiez: It sucks they're banning sr17. It seems to be a holy grail for many ppl.
  8. nameofuser11 @ nameofuser11: To clarify plain leaf kratom is not a part of this ban. Mitragynine might be fine. 7, psuedo,mgm15 and sr1708 are what are on the table to be banned most likely but hopefully just regulated.
  9. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: @st1ckyf1ng4z and yes , there are already indole alkoloids with tweaked scaffolding ready to take the place of 7/mgm, all with mitragynine as their parent alkoloid. The game of wack a mole starts the minute 7 is officially banned. Its 2013 K2 all over
  10. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @MorfineOrfan Also, it’s just a matter of time before another alternative pops up on the market anyway….
  11. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @MorfineOrfan I couldn’t agree more, bro. It’s fucked up. I recognize prices will rise, but it will always be available…. Stock up now while you can at least if you’re preferred read is opiates. As an ex-fentanyl addict I won’t ever touch any of that shit again. I remember when I started to see 7oh pop up, I knew it was going to end like this but I can understand getting rid of 7oh/mgm-15/16. With that being said, they should leave plain leaf alone!
  12. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: @st1ckyf1ng4z oh trust, i know that, im helping a pretty big vendor transition, to here and dnm , but prices are going to rise bc of risk. But availability is only part of this whole kratom alks situation. We have a serious problem with society. Last year alcohol killed 178,000 people, last year all other drugs combined killed 69,973 Out of those 38,084 were from opiate/opioids and out of those 0 were killed by 7oh. With these numbers we can see the problem with banning 7oh
  13. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Hell i remember when getting 25g of aphip was like 200$ or so
  14. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Dude wants $150 for 5g... I told him nahh doggy cmon.
  15. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Man im tryin to get this one kat to come off that apvp for 75$
  16. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: Cant wait to get the apvp in
  17. token @ token: Afternoon everyone! Hope their day or night has been good!
  18. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: We need to takj bro
  19. MrFuszy @ MrFuszy: @RiftChems Hey man PM me
  20. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: why does tails always act stupid at stupid times
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