Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. Sakshi @ Sakshi: those damn birds are real tho i've been saying it for years. first they used the cats man. it's CRAZY.
  2. Sakshi @ Sakshi: lmaoooo FLUX get some sleep brother. the CEO of the third day no sleep squad demands it for your health B)
  3. Flux Pharm @ Flux Pharm: As a representative of the 3rd day no sleep squad, allow me to be the first to say hi to the shadow people, peak out my window because the guy taking the trash out is a fed, check every lightbulb for cameras/wires and cover windows so those evil chirping birds (aka government surveillance drones) cant see me 👽
  4. goldsmoke.net @ goldsmoke.net: hello
  5. Acidwizard @ Acidwizard: As a representative of the Eastcoast USA, allow me to be the first to wish you all a Satisfying Saturday!
  6. Sakshi @ Sakshi: LOL yeah seems like the websites buggin out. those spammed duplicated posts is exactly what happened to me but i closed my browser quick. so be careful yall B)
  7. Acidwizard @ Acidwizard: Fantastic Friday Everybody! Except for the scammers lurking in the shadows. No Fantastic Friday for you (n)
  8. Sakshi @ Sakshi: sheesh i posted that and it started rapidly chain-posting it on my browser, closed super quick like wtf. seems it successfully only sent one message tho xD. browser was trying to frame me for shoutbox ddosing -_-
  9. Sakshi @ Sakshi: happy friday dbg gang B) time to turn up. just make sure to not break the sound barrier.
  10. J @ jollyman14: Happy friday!! Stay safe!
  11. RonaldDonald @ RonaldDonald: ဩ= Happy Friday everyone! Have a good and safe weekend. I hope everyone stays well and see some good lands today ☻
  12. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: Yet another friday, we made it! Have a great weekend everyone, be safe out there, stay diligent.
  13. Acidwizard @ Acidwizard: Fantastic Friday! everyone
  14. PlanetExpress @ PlanetExpress: Happy Friday DBG & Folks!
  15. Acidwizard @ Acidwizard: I'm in Maine and Vermont frequently for my job. Seen most parts of VT and the whole Maine coast as well as some inland
  16. Acidwizard @ Acidwizard: @Jp420 Vermont is a lovely State and Maine has it's highs and lows.
  17. jillybeans @ jillybeans: Yea super excited don’t get out much
  18. jillybeans @ jillybeans: But* heard we’re doing a girls day as well so that will be fun haven’t had one of those in a long time
  19. Jp420 @ Jp420: Maine or Vermont are the two spots i would leave NY for. Beautiful states!
  20. jillybeans @ jillybeans: Thank you going to my boyfriends cousins house not sure what we are actually doing up there bute
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