Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. D @ dopiedan: mushroom
  2. E @ EldritchMusic: american dream
  3. L @ Layne_Cobain: @drdrizzy13 that’s exactly how my buddy whose a saints fan feels he was hellah pissed after you guys won last Sunday lol
  4. D @ drdrizzy13: Coming from a Saints fan I want us to tank. No reason to win.
  5. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain Rooting for the Panthers!
  6. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood i know bro the East is gonna be a sluggest…falcons winning makes it now so panthers beat NOLA and take one of two from the bucs we run the south man im so Fkn excited but also hesitant better not pull no bs against the saints Sunday
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne&Cobain I'm thrilled about that signing for the O'S! AL East is gonna be brutal this year.
  8. D @ drdrizzy13: @Bloodraven666 you aren't supposed to post things like this in the shoutbox. Post it somewhere on the forum. It's probably already been answered.
  9. Ketmaster @ Ketmaster: Hey dumbass, read the rules
  10. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood lmao I know bro but for real let’s go falcons tonite!!! Help us cats out…how about your orioles getting Pete that’s Fkn huge can’t believe Mets gave him up without even a fight
  11. D @ drdrizzy13: He's got Antonio Cromartie beat! Shit there's a bunch of rumors of Anthony Edwards having like 20 kids.
  12. D @ drdrizzy13: LMAO @tiquanunderwood
  13. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain Let's go Phillip Rivers and his 21 kids!
  14. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: @ponglenis, those days will be fondly missed
  15. E @ Enginentheogen: I am withdrawing from Klonopin and need a good vendor asap
  16. L @ Layne_Cobain: Me too bro what a Fkn bummer and now on the outside out the playoff picture as well
  17. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain Feel so bad for Indiana Jones and Colts fans
  18. 2 @ 219: Autogen99 vendor
  19. P @ ponglenis: @Dr-Octagon Yeah, can't believe that was so long ago. I miss that community. I still talk to a few people from there.
  20. Z @ zdaBa: Mitch❤️
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