Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. M @ mgm_pf: What's the best special k cereal? Looking for one to help with more fiber, depression and anxiety, kind of like what all the ads are Tryin to sell me lol
  2. D @ Dmteaparty: Rockychoc
  3. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: Hey this shout goes out to @roxyshorts I dunno if anyone has seen his presence but I have comm with him daily and smthing seems off nowhere to be found hit me up dogg this aint adding up hope you r good 🕙
  4. D @ Dockside: 5-meo-dipt
  5. E @ Enginentheogen: I am looking for help identifying which brand of generic clonazepam I ordered (ifa Celtics, Psicofarma, tempus pharma). One brand from an order was more effective and I want to request that brand again. Would someone mind taking a look at pictures I have of the clonazepam? DM me.
  6. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Anyone else miss the old days of this scene? lol
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @AlHoffman69 Anytime brother. Happy your Wednesday has been better than your Tuesday :) <3
  8. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: BACK AT YOU thanks for kind words today :) :cool: ⬇️ ⬇️
  9. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @AlHoffman69 🫡 🤗
  10. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: wow what a difference a few hours can make gonna be a good week hope everyone makes the best of it there is no rewind or pause button in this feature film but you can believe it's all about my biography 🤣🤣🤣
  11. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @WTF7218 Thanks for the wonderful words! My girlfriend and I went to a beach along the eastern shore. Was really lovely. Perfect weather. Back to work with a pile of emails staring at me lol
  12. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: absolutely @WTF7218 he was the only cat that noticed I had a rather bad day and reached out :) :) :) :)
  13. WTF7218 @ WTF7218: @AlHoffman69 I concur. I very much appreciate @tiquanunderwood’s contributions to this community. That’s wonderful that you got a vacation. Where did you go? If you feel like sharing of course
  14. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: Sourdough 😋
  15. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: naw AI is to stupid, only thinks its smart :) kiddihng I agree today may be the worst day I have had on the forum have to see lets hope not man
  16. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: A.i. is gonna be the end of us [humanity] , im afraid 😶
  17. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: This monday sure as fuck does damn one thing after another lets hope things turn around :alien: :alien: :alien:
  18. goldsmoke.net @ goldsmoke.net: HELLO !!!!
  19. brainchem @ brainchem: Uh oh somebody has a case of the Mondays 🤠
  20. CalFresh @ CalFresh: Mondays suck.
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