Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. J @ j00ciiez: Am i allowed to talk about this here? There's been rumors that bjc was executed. His threads closed so i couldn't ask in there if anyone else has heard this
  2. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: You are worthy of your dreams!
  3. lucas007 @ lucas007: Have I been drinking enough water today?
  4. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: Hope the see better than the week 🤔
  5. Gulp2788 @ Gulp2788: the year of the horse
  6. Gulp2788 @ Gulp2788: it is springtime my dudes
  7. Gulp2788 @ Gulp2788: anyone want to learn how to fence?
  8. JackOBlades @ JackOBlades: Hope everyone is happy and healthy! I finally got GOS WOO HOO!!
  9. J @ jkenferg: Life is precious, sometimes we need help
  10. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Exercise. @lucas007
  11. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy NFL Draft Night Baby! Go Ravens. Offensive Line baby,.
  12. S @ sko7: getting daily vitamins
  13. lucas007 @ lucas007: What's one small, healthy choice you can make for yourself today?
  14. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: Gonna be a great hump day
  15. lucas007 @ lucas007: A 30-minute walk is cheaper and more powerful than any pill.
  16. AlHoffman69 @ AlHoffman69: Well weeks looking good hope all is having solid week
  17. proton369 @ proton369: 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
  18. lucas007 @ lucas007: Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to live in 🫶
  19. MorfineOrfan @ MorfineOrfan: Peace and blessings to all!
  20. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Economy is crazy right now
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