Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. K @ Kon1er: Sorry about that folks
  2. D @ drdrizzy13: Yeah the Saints are my home team. I've been watching them since the 80s. It has been some very rough times. Yall should beat the shit out of us next week. lol
  3. Gulp2788 @ Gulp2788: That's not a question for shoutbox @Kon1er
  4. Stims King @ Stims King: email updated in the thread
  5. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain You should be. Ride high all week till the next game. You have the Saints coming up. 8-6 would be awesome.
  6. Gulp2788 @ Gulp2788: I like riseup @Stims King
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Pumpkin Sleep?
  8. Pumpkin @ Pumpkin: Picked from the patch, lifted off the ground, and launched to space via hillbilly cannon, only to find myself in the strangest magazine store to ever exist
  9. Pumpkin @ Pumpkin: Magazines stocked on shelves, magazines full of bullets, magazines with toothpaste stains, and now… this. Interesting
  10. J @ jjjjjjjjj: @Stims King Not an expert on the matter myself but have seen tuta and mailfence suggested a good amount in some threads on here
  11. Stims King @ Stims King: suggest a secure email other than proton mail
  12. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: The local sports collective team did poorly.
  13. L @ Layne_Cobain: Dude F**K tepper @tiquanunderwood im just happy he’s been quiet this season finally learned his lesson
  14. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood dude I am Fkn flying high after that game holy shit!!! This team is so jekyl and Hyde gonna gimme a coronary lmao what a WIN baby
  15. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain What a game for your Panthers. Bet Mr. Douche David Tepper is thrilled haha. But that was awesome. Congrats.
  16. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy Football Sunday! @Layne_Cobain Chubbard putting on the jets.
  17. cannedgoods @ cannedgoods: Happy Thanksgiving and Holiday weekend everyone!
  18. S @ samortal: Wheres feel_faith_heal i swear i seen them on here
  19. L @ Layne_Cobain: @Hankhill one of the best SB’s ever imo that goal line stance by the Ravens must still be in Jim Harbaughs nightmares considering he’d be a collegiate and pro championship winning coach
  20. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: gone.
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