Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain so glad I stayed up for that game. I'm sort of rooting for the Seahawks because as you know they stole Mike MacDonald from us :(, but they're awesome
  2. L @ Layne_Cobain: Right bro that 2 pt conversion Fkn wild
  3. M @ MCAJB6122: that game on thursday was crazy. one of the craziest I’ve seen
  4. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood @drdrizzy13 crazy Fkn game last night hawks and rams 🤯 ready for bama Oklahoma baby lesgooo also got the Jake Paul Joshua fight at 8
  5. L @ Layne_Cobain: Good game tonight
  6. G @ globby: @drdrizzy13 I think the steelers docs are gonna keep him happy ;)
  7. R @ Royboy99: .
  8. aarons @ aarons: Tuned in on the sports channel :D
  9. D @ drdrizzy13: Probably worse that Brett Favre.
  10. D @ drdrizzy13: lmao @globby he sure did and he looked perked up too lmao.
  11. G @ globby: Perc Rodgers showed up last night baby!
  12. D @ drdrizzy13: I liked Bryce Young at Bama but he just looks so small in the NFL lol.
  13. D @ drdrizzy13: He is actually surprising me. I was pissed when they drafted him. Shaueder threw for 360+ yds and 4 tds I was reading. I was kind of wanting Sanders but it's probably a mess that comes with it.
  14. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood it’s alright bro we’ll sink then mothah lovin buccaneers …hopefully lol
  15. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Yeah, Shough can move too. It was an entertaining game. Sorry about your loss :(
  16. L @ Layne_Cobain: He did @drdrizzy13 my boy is so pissed like you he wants them to tank for the draft
  17. D @ drdrizzy13: @Layne_Cobain Not gonna lie I was hating on Tyler Shough for a minute but he made some damn nice throws against the Panthers!
  18. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood so dissapointing man led whole game and then can’t get some first downs to kill some clock and a stupid roughing penalty puts them in easy fg territory…oh well gotta move on I guess gonna have to sweep the bucs there’s other ways in but that’s the most straightforward
  19. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain Looking great at halftime. Hope you're having a good tme.
  20. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain Finally a solid week for us! Hoping you the same in 20 minutes!
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