Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. PlanetExpress @ PlanetExpress: @brofessormd this isn't even the first time we've seen this whole setup go through this mess. There seems to be some sort of pattern here; every time stuff gets rocky with shipments, missed deliveries, or a pile of refund requests, it always cycles back around. Honestly, watching this routine play out since 2021 has been wild. Just something to keep in mind when making plans.
  2. P @ piratepenguin: So they are pink hello kittys. Ya I'll test but probably won't take them at all
  3. DutchRCshop @ DutchRCshop: @piratepenguin Dont take without testing! Probably amfetamine or XTC. Small chance its something else but still, how tf you get random pills in the mail lol
  4. moai @ moai: @piratepenguin probably xtc or similar but don’t take it without testing it. I would definitely test them, could really be anything.
  5. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: had “confirmed” this. Just this morning someone claimed “Just so you guys know, there is someone else that's taking over and is going to take care of all that was left behind. But I would be patient please“. I would take this all with a grain of salt though, anything is possible, and I don’t want to be spreading rumors
  6. st1ckyf1ng4z @ st1ckyf1ng4z: @CalFresh @brofessormd @intrnt Yes time will tell, I do believe the timing was a little sus as well, people in his signal group were mentioning heart failure, and that people closer to him had to confirmed this
  7. P @ piratepenguin: Just got some random cat head shaped pink pills at the post. I didn't order. Pink cat head with two plugs on the other side. Anyone know what they are?
  8. B @ brofessormd: Slightly sus that Rhodi pastebin was taken down at the exact same time of his friends announcement of his death 🤔
  9. I @ intrnt: @CalFresh time will tell, it's always easy for a Vendor to exit and come by with a new handle.
  10. CalFresh @ CalFresh: @st1ckyf1ng4z what happened to Rhodium?
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