Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. Y @ Yaugae5121: Why ya say that xenxra?
  2. O @ ochemdim: @xenxra Any in particular that you have a good feeling about?
  3. xenxra @ xenxra: if you are in crypto consider pivoting to crypto cus it's about to get wild
  4. Y @ Yaugae5121: Hope everyone is having a good week! Been two weeks since I broke my kneecap; two weeks of recovery down baby!! ❤️🙂
  5. JackBasquiat @ JackBasquiat: Happy belated birthday
  6. JackBasquiat @ JackBasquiat: Good morning @tiquanunderwood likewise, hope your day's great 🫡
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Good morning :) have a great day
  8. CalFresh @ CalFresh: Thank you everyone! I had a very nice day.. Now, back to work!.
  9. J @ jjjjjjjjj: Happy birthday @CalFresh! Hope you're having a great day!
  10. M @ meepmoopmeep: Happy birthday @CalFresh! Have a great day today!
  11. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: nevermind. got it. sorry for crowding the box
  12. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: sorry @xenxra
  13. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @xenex can you link me that new RC community again?
  14. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy Birthday @CalFresh
  15. Y @ Yaugae5121: Heyyoo happy birthday calfresh!!
  16. CalFresh @ CalFresh: To everyone awaiting responses from me: I am sorry I am behind. Today is my birthday and others are demanding my attention. I will mdo my best to catch up by EOD tomorrow. Apologies!
  17. xenxra @ xenxra: when the train leaves the station, it doesn't back up to let latecomers on. if it does, there's something wrong with the train.
  18. Gluonimatrix @ Gluonimatrix: 😽
  19. Professor_ @ Professor_: Good Morning everyone
  20. CalFresh @ CalFresh: happy Tuesday!
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