Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  4. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: @ponglenis, definitely! Lol. Wow, we're getting old,.
  5. L @ Layne_Cobain: And I know dude poor Daniel jones and colts fans that Fkn sucks and is gonna let KC back in just happy saints beat bucs
  6. L @ Layne_Cobain: Damn bro @tiquanunderwood sorry my dude was pulling for yah I thought that was a TD he held it long enuff refs disagreed after review idk man was close
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: getting a little frustrated :(
  8. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: poor indiana jones :(
  9. D @ drdrizzy13: The transfer portal has turned big conferences especially the SEC more like trading players. And they need to fix the NIL deals. Not really fair for one player to get 7 mil and his teammate getting 1k. It's corrupted college football..
  10. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain Lets go boyyyyyy!
  11. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy Football Sunday! Leggo Ravens baby.
  12. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Bulldogs take the cake - Kiffin deserves to play in a place called Death Valley - Man how I used to love Saturdays in the fall. But College Football is dead. My prediction? Transfer portal and NIL with million dollar “salaries” mean NCAA Football becomes the defacto NFL D league except they’re all free agents. To compete, Superconfrences are going to continue to consolidate, privatize or go corporate, and the NCAA can go back to worrying about title IXX and Women’s volleyball and such.
  13. D @ drdrizzy13: I think they'll probably win it all.
  14. D @ drdrizzy13: Georgia way too dominate
  15. M @ meepmoopmeep: i think most of us expected it but not how badly it went down
  16. M @ meepmoopmeep: Alabama got SPANKED
  17. L @ Layne_Cobain: Down goes Alabama WOW hahah goodbye playoffs who gets in now instead vandy? I gotta look at rankings now
  18. D @ drdrizzy13: SEC championship game next. This game is kind of boring.
  19. L @ Layne_Cobain: Happy weekend mofos enjoy the football @tiquanunderwood and everyone else
  20. G @ globby: happy Saturday
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