Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. P @ psychedpsych: Have good day people, and I hate texting messages lol
  2. B @ bigblueallda: @drjimmy1964 lol I am actually surprised it is a real ID. I needed those documents because my license had been expired for over a year and I had to start all over. Nothing was in the system. It was a huge mess. I had no clue I was signing up for Real ID. They asked me for the exact same documents that I needed for a State ID Card.
  3. S @ soupson: bless your heart buddy. no sense of grammar or proper insults/jokes. you need this place in ways i can’t comprehend
  4. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: Sweet Ol' Me asked about Real ID, Stoup. Are you responsive to emails ? LMAO
  5. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: I smell some Stoup. Is Stoup's on ?
  6. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda You win. I am lost. Thought you were surprised your license was a Real ID, now you say you provided those items.
  7. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda I was under the impression that you'd need all of the points to get a real ID . I'd check it's validity if you're gonna fly domestic any time soon, just to make sure. Not to tell you what to do, sorry -
  8. B @ bigblueallda: @drjimmy1964 In my state to get a Real ID, I need SS card, Birth Certificate and two proofs of residency. Which I am positive I had to provide to get a new ID when it had been expired.
  9. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @Turbo259 advertising - putting in writing for example an negative action to show they are guilty prior to taking action.
  10. B @ bigblueallda: I haven't flown in an airplane in 20 years lol. Can't recall the last government building I have been in either. According to the symbol it tells me I should have on my ID to make it a Real ID I do have one in my state
  11. Gracie5 @ Gracie5: Hey @CuCeltic99!
  12. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @Turbo259 advertising - putting in writing for example an negative action to show they are guilty prior to taking action.
  13. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  14. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  15. S @ soupson: did anyone ask about real id or is sweet ol jimmy just rambling
  16. T @ Turbo259: @drjimmy1964 what did you mean by advertise? not gettin the verbiage, DM works if anything, just didnt understand
  17. B @ bigblueallda: {Visit your local Driver Service Bureau with the necessary documents: original birth certificate, Social Security card, and two proofs of your state's residency. } I definitely provided this when I had to get a new ID when i let mine go expired too long maybe I unknowingly got one but I think it is pretty standard here.
  18. B @ bigblueallda: Well it was a state id renewal. Before that there was a mixup and I had lost my birth certficate and social security number. After a couple of weeks and finally getting several documents in order I was able to get a state ID. It had been expired previously for a little too long and they wanted all kinds of proof. It was a mess. But nah I looked up what to look for an my state's ID to see if it is a Real Id or not and my card as the symbol it is supposed to have. I'll take a closer look though
  19. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  20. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: Actually it says "Not For Real ID Purposes". That is my 2022 renewal of my 2018 picture ID. I am not due till 2026 and I am sure they will make me go in since my pic would be 8 years old - they used to make you go in in my state for aging when I was younger, then went paper - then back to picture ( I think 9/11 to blame for that ) but relaxed it.
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