Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. I @ Ill51: TAS is still functional. I log in a few times a year to check PM's. And Shy molecyle was Miami P.D. how that whole deal worked out I dunno. But those were strange times indeed.
  2. B @ brofessormd: @LatsDoodis i still have a bottle of shys clon from 2015. Guy was a legend.
  3. CnC5 @ CnC5: GOOD MORNIN DBG FAM!!!!!!!!
  4. A @ Aarfgh: @LatsDoodis I recall Shy in name only. Visited the site once and bookmarked it, but never bought from them.
  5. A @ Agust_west: Anyone remember the monkey man’s shiop? I’d do anything to go back in time and stock up on his products!! His mxe was like no other , whole different exp. And his other two products were just as amazing!! I’d mix em all together and slam it back then. Anybody who stocks his other products, let me know please.
  6. LatsDoodis @ LatsDoodis: Anybody remember ShyMolecules? Probably about 10+ years ago, made a grip and closed up shop before it got dicey out there. Used to be a grey market, now there’s just an argument in court for one.
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: I was HUGE n chemzrus. Was a sampler review for it. Missed that forum :(
  8. The Doctor RC @ The Doctor RC: I Spent my RC budget Til the 15th.. I get some vendors are busy but they pay for help.
  9. The Doctor RC @ The Doctor RC: On some farmapram to
  10. The Doctor RC @ The Doctor RC: Man I think I’m in some shit. I ordered early Tuesday from multiple different reputable vendors and usually III get confirmation. One was a decent price
  11. QuantumMatrix @ QuantumMatrix: @Dr-Octagon Do you remember a Research Chemical forum TAS (The Altered States) from back when 2cb and mxe were legal?
  12. O @ oddjerbs: Is @Pharma Daddy on?
  13. H @ hotdog45: I love and care about all of you truly. You have really been a huge help to me when I've needed. I cannot thank you enough
  14. T @ Tonka18: @adiste11a why rip saturn?
  15. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: @The Doctor RC, sorry the day's of me having mad time on the web are a bit behind me sorry
  16. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: @QuantumMatrix, i was there when it started. The looking glass. The aviary. Chfc (rts) and news-boards (opr) were still activd prior to s.r. never saw the need
  17. WTF7218 @ WTF7218: @Strawhat7 Alfa exit scammed.
  18. A @ adiste11a: rip saturnmeds
  19. A @ Aarfgh: @QuantumMatrix Little column A, little B
  20. G @ gfunkster: @Stims King you are one smooth operator! I see you! Your post are hilarious and sometimes exactly what is needed. I know its work but sometimes a grumpy vendor isnt a good look. Thats why the @iamgroot or @CalFresh of the world are beloved!!!
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