Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
Drugbuyersguide Shoutbox
  1. M @ Mammasboi123: @Logan1488 depends on your current 0p10d tolerance and how strong your 0pi DOC is that you’re trying to ween off of. Try checking out the info under the SR-17 thread under General Talk About Research Chemicals
  2. J @ jjjjjjjjj: Hope everyone is having a lovely Friday!
  3. A @ Anonmist: G
  4. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: 5 year anniversary coming up, yeee boiii.
  5. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @necromedic and some of us quite awhile!
  6. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: hope everyone's almost friday has been great!
  7. N @ necromedic: I come here and see compassion, generosity and community. You all make me feel like maybe humanity isn’t totally screwed. God’s blessings upon you all.
  8. J @ jjjjjjjjj: Hope everyone has had a good day today!
  9. xenxra @ xenxra: shadow wizard goblin insanity
  10. D @ DoctorBD: @peanut shout-out to you for making me aware of this! And all of you! Stay blessed and stay you!
  11. I_Main_Soraka @ I_Main_Soraka: Hiya all, just wishing everyone positive vibes and a happy day~ ^_^ 🥰
  12. P @ peanut: Hi everyone (example I was told by a mod).
  13. P @ peanut: The chat box is for shout outs not menu items, samples, asking for items.
  14. Telp @ Telp: @DoctorBD Nope lol
  15. C @ chaddbriggs: How do you initiate a dispute concerning a vendor
  16. A @ Aarfgh: I asked admins about the vendor menu thing, being right out in the open while we need to speak in code. they said there's no such rule for vendors. lol tf?
  17. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Thanks @iamgroot for the sample! <3
  18. B @ Bigfish529: Thanks ! @fyjclol
  19. F @ fyjclol: Some vendors are good about it though..
  20. F @ fyjclol: @luquitoad ive thought of that too, kinda pointless :LOL: somw
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