Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: It was ugly, but happy to have the win. @Layne_Cobain
  2. L @ Lokemer: Oh man what happened around here :(
  3. etizoman @ etizoman: @aarons thanks. May he rip. 😥
  4. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood what a Fkn play call holy hell lmao andrews for the Td
  5. aarons @ aarons: He fell of the ship and drowned
  6. etizoman @ etizoman: Hey I gotta question. Is CnC gone too?
  7. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Just looked it up. 422 lmao. Thats nutty.
  8. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Didn't Cam hit 405 his 1st game or something like that? @Layne_Cobain
  9. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood dude I never thought I’d read the headline “Bryce young passes cam Newton to set the franchise record single game passing yardage” amazing! Me too bro dalton is washed
  10. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain when dalton went in i had a heart attack\
  11. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain So happy for you! Fantastic game.
  12. L @ Layne_Cobain: Great game great win @tiquanunderwood its days like this that make me think he CAN be the guy the franchise qb just needs that consistency … more football now let’s go ravens
  13. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood what a Fkn win bro holy shit I’m pumped Bryce almost 450 yards 3 td no picks 123 passer rating gotta be most yards he’s ever thrown for
  14. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain TMAC! 390 passing yards for bryce.
  15. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: RICOOO
  16. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain Damn.
  17. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: @Layne_Cobain LEGGO!
  18. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Hoping Flacco continues his undercover work and beats the Steelers again.
  19. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Yeah. Its a divison game. But Browns been trash trash. Thanks <3
  20. L @ Layne_Cobain: @tiquanunderwood FUMBLEEEE LFG
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