Marriage is not what I'd hoped

[Slammer]

Never, I repeat, never marry a person whom you cannot communicate with 100% fully and completely.

Especially if cultural issues are involved too.

Total recipe for a life of disaster.

Slammer

 

[Jewbacca]

Never, I repeat, never marry a person whom you cannot communicate with 100% fully and completely.

Especially if cultural issues are involved too.

Total recipe for a life of disaster.

Slammer

That, and don't marry someone who's hobby is giving blow jobs to crack dealers in parking lots.

Just wanted to contribute to the list!

 

[Slammer]

That, and don't marry someone who's hobby is giving blow jobs to crack dealers in parking lots.

Just wanted to contribute to the list!

Wow!

I'm not gonna ask any follow up questions regarding that tip.

But, thanks for that good advice.

Slammer

 

[marco14150]

All I gotta say is that I'm "King of the Castle" (when my wife's not around that is /default_laugh.png )

 

[High Tide]

What ever you do NEVER propose because someone is crying about their sucky life at home. I married a girl to make her happy and it ended 12 years later and several tries to ease her depression. The last year we lived together she was hospitalized half a dozen times for depression. She has done everything from SSRI to ECT treatments to try and erase the memory of being abused as a child. While I worked and let her go on vacation she got drunk and cheated on me, something I'd never done despite being miserable with her.

Now I'm cheating, not on my wife because we haven't lived together for a decade. But I managed to find another abused girl who loves me for my meds. I can't complain, she is 20 years younger, it's just she takes so many chances to come see me and get a buzz. Her old man has to be stupid. But I justify it because I know she would do something worse than sleep with me if I didn't help her out. At least when she gets zombified I don't do things I know other sick people would. But if she doesn't make some changes and show she is going to let me help her I've got to quit before she too drives me to the psych ward.

 

[99 Luftballons]

This will sound strange coming from me considering I always post jack ass type shite....but love your spouse like it it's a one way street (with safe peeps). My wife will tell you I treat her like a queen. She has my x wife to thank for that. I learned what not to do. Let things go...most of the stuff you will fight over is forgotten faster than the fight. and yes I am going to quote the Bible here: live this and you will have a wonderful marriage.

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version (NIV)

13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 

[Jewbacca]

All kidding aside, that's an incredible post 99. While I haven't been fortunate enough to run into 2nd wife material, truer words were never spoken. As I've told my children and others, the secret to marriage isn't that obscure. If you put the other person first, always, and they do the same, things work out well, in spite of challenges along the way. When one of both consistently put their own needs first, it invariably fails. Selfless service to those you love. Therein lies the key.

 

[99 Luftballons]

You know Jewy we live in a world where everyone trys to put themselves 1st and we all know that will never work. What is important is to make sure we find someone worth putting 1st. My wife and my mom are the BEST people I have ever known. My wife never and I mean never complains about anything and she stuck by me when I was in prison.

I will love her and no other.

 

[Jewbacca]

You know Jewy we live in a world where everyone trys to put themselves 1st and we all know that will never work. What is important is to make sure we find someone worth putting 1st. My wife and my mom are the BEST people I have ever known. My wife never and I mean never complains about anything and she stuck by me when I was in prison.

I will love her and no other.

You're definitely a wise man 99, and a blessed one. Certainly words to live by.....

 

[99 Luftballons]

Im gonna stop all this serious talk before I ruin my rep

 

[High Tide]

Nothing wrong with being serious, as long as you put time aside for fun too.

But my relationship with women who have been abused as children has only deepened by hatred for the sick bastards who abuse them. Theres nothing I detest more in the world than a child molester. My nieces were hurt to some extent, I'm not sure and don't want to know. Then she brought her broken computer for me to retrieve what I could and it had pure sh!t smut on it. Turned out it was in the guys house before being given to her. Anyone who would like to see stuff with rape in the title ought to be killed imo. I just hate I found it after the fact.

I probably drove my wife further insane by my insatiable appetite for sex. Not that I ever insisted she do anything she didn't want to. I pampered her during her hospital stays so much that she seemed to go back just for some special treatment from me. I can't help but feel love for her, but I think she had no idea what a strain working 12-14 hours a day and then getting a call to deliver Chinese food to the hospital put on me.

But I honestly never took advantage of the chances I had to cheat on her. Maybe I should have. She probably needed a break from the sex I wanted at least once a day, 25 days a month. Still, for her to sleep with an "illegal alien" while I worked my tail off to send her on vacation and give her everything money could provide was something unforgivable in my opinion.

That's all I'll say on the topic. I probably wouldn't have posted this much but some things need to be released from time to time. Sorry to have taken the topic in such a dark direction, it just turned out that way.

 

[Jewbacca]

No need to apologize HT. As far as I'm concerned, that's why we're here. Just as comedy is therapeutic, so is the emotional catharsis that comes from recanting life's circumstances, both past and present, from time to time. Let's face it, it's life's twists, turns and unexpected pains, physical and emotional alike, that have led us all here in one form or another. So, point being, it seems perfectly appropriate to talk about such things if one desires to do so. Plus, it's a hell of a lot cheaper than a shrink!

Also, as I read your last post, it occurred to me that it was an excellent example the point I was making earlier. You having gone to great extremes to put your wife first and to care for her, and in turn, receiving infidelity as a reward. I realize that's overly simplified, but even so, it's a great example of how marriage fails when only one party is committed to putting the other first.

As 99 pointed out, we find ourselves living in an incredibly selfish world where several generations now have been raised to "take care of number one" above all else, and that they're entitled to their every desire. And yet, people seem so surprised at the ridiculously high marriage failure rate in the United States. At the end of the day, it's a pretty simple, albeit elusive formula.

 

[Jewbacca]

And on a lighter note HT, I find myself enthraled with the idea of a hottie that's 20 years my junior, and who enjoys my private stock enough to pay old Jewy a visit from time to time for a bit of "body checking", so to speak. (sorry, old hockey phrases die hard) I may require some pointers on executing such a plan!

 

[High Tide]

And on a lighter note HT, I find myself enthraled with the idea of a hottie that's 20 years my junior, and who enjoys my private stock enough to pay old Jewy a visit from time to time for a bit of "body checking", so to speak. (sorry, old hockey phrases die hard) I may require some pointers on executing such a plan!

Thanks for the support Jewy. I still hate to see when I've turned a party sour, but at least y'all know I'm honest and speak whats on my mind. I sometimes hurt some feelings but try to let those who were hurt know it wasn't intentional asap.

As far as picking up younger girls I've been fortunate. Really it's easy, just have lots of nieces and nephews who party hard and hang with them once in a while. Sooner or later there is bound to be girl their age who is dependent on something. I've found three so far, a couple of years apart mind you, who are desperate enough for a fix to let an old man perform a vaginal exam. I always do that before anything else so I can look, smell and taste if everything is okay before taking a chance on putting my rod in the fishing hole. It won't prevent aids or anything but will allow one to see if there are any abnormalities. Plus a girl who takes pride in hygiene is essential before I go diving. I'm just so thankful of todays grooming practices. Back when I began muff diving it was best to bring a weed whacker to the party. I always hated having to pick hair from between my teeth. As I told the latest girl, I don't feel like I've succeeded unless I come up looking like a glazed donut.

 

[Jewbacca]

Thanks for the support Jewy. I still hate to see when I've turned a party sour, but at least y'all know I'm honest and speak whats on my mind. I sometimes hurt some feelings but try to let those who were hurt know it wasn't intentional asap.

As far as picking up younger girls I've been fortunate. Really it's easy, just have lots of nieces and nephews who party hard and hang with them once in a while. Sooner or later there is bound to be girl their age who is dependent on something. I've found three so far, a couple of years apart mind you, who are desperate enough for a fix to let an old man perform a vaginal exam. I always do that before anything else so I can look, smell and taste if everything is okay before taking a chance on putting my rod in the fishing hole. It won't prevent aids or anything but will allow one to see if there are any abnormalities. Plus a girl who takes pride in hygiene is essential before I go diving. I'm just so thankful of todays grooming practices. Back when I began muff diving it was best to bring a weed whacker to the party. I always hated having to pick hair from between my teeth. As I told the latest girl, I don't feel like I've succeeded unless I come up looking like a glazed donut. /default_wink.png

No worries, always glad to be of assistance and / or support. And don't worry about souring anything. I think the thread, and everyone's feelings, will survive! Anyway, excellent practices and procedures on your part. I've always felt it prudent to examine new "territory" with at least a modicum of caution, never diving in head first, as it were! No sense in risking any unpleasant surprises. As for your sourcing techniques, they certainly do sound effective. However, as luck would have it, I don't have any nieces or nephews of the proper age group to provide procurement support for old Uncle Jewy, so I guess I'll just have to wait on fate to play its hand, so to speak.

 

[99 Luftballons]

@Jewy - Your advise is always right on!

@HT - I am truly sorry for your loss...and at the end of the day when one experiences infidelity it truly is a loss. A loss of dreams, you lose the core of who you thought you were in this world because you took so much of your identity from the person that cheated on you. Their love seemed to be the emotional skeletal system inside you that allowed you to stand. It is the ever present cost stuck in "pending" that we fear will post to our account.

I have experienced this from the other side. I was the one that cheated...the one that threw away the life that was built. I don't know why I did it...It was not that I did not love my 1st wife or that I even cared about the women I cheated with. I was selfish...thought I could get away with it and not hurt anyone...and the true issue for me? I did not believe I deserved the love I was receiving from my wife at the time so I was subconsciously destroying the very thing I craved.

 

[High Tide]

Anyway, excellent practices and procedures on your part. I've always felt it prudent to examine new "territory" with at least a modicum of caution, never diving in head first, as it were! No sense in risking any unpleasant surprises. As for your sourcing techniques, they certainly do sound effective. However, as luck would have it, I don't have any nieces or nephews of the proper age group to provide procurement support for old Uncle Jewy, so I guess I'll just have to wait on fate to play its hand, so to speak.

Lol, Actually diving in head first is probably what helped me most if I'm honest. I dove in a shallow pool when I was about 8, wanting to show my impeccable swimming skills at a place I'd never been before. It caused the first traumatic injury to my neck, because I dove in only 2-3 feet of water. I'm very fortunate to be walking. Youth helped me work through the injury but in my mid 30s I had an MRI that showed tons of damage was done. It also gave me the proof needed to get the pain relief I needed. It took a long time to learn how to control the hardest stuff but going through wd over and over finally taught me to use things a bit more carefully. Now I'm able to share, if the right person is in need of course. /default_wink.png

As for the ages of nieces and nephews I was an uncle at 13. Somehow my three siblings have provided me with a constant supply of those things. I just had the 27th? Lucky for the world I haven't procreated, but my family certainly has. My wife wasn't mentally capable of child rearing and I would have been working too much to help out.

 

[High Tide]

Speaking of the wife she had to come over tonight, just when I was sexting with a new friend close to my age or older. My wife is certified looney and not much fun for me to be around. If she hadn't gained so much weight I could still manage to sleep with her. The gf pist me off taking my stuff and promising to come back when her hubby went to sleep. I've had her favorite, cariso, since Tuesday but told her it had not arrived. I don't mind the fact she uses me, but she went too far taking most of my stuff and not giving me any in return. I've got enough pictures and hidden camera footage to keep me busy while she learns a lesson.

I'm such a dog. /default_biggrin.png And I love it! I got her hubby to pay for her to go to the methadone clinic because she was eating too much of my CII stuff, now she gives it up now and then for some relatively cheap stuff. As Early Cuyler said on Squidbillies, "Don't you judge me judge!"

 

[99 Luftballons]

I am the last person to judge given my past...@HT this does not seem like a healthy relationship my friend...for you or her (GF). I understand the allure of a younger woman...what are you getting out of this relationship? Seems like it can only end badly. I am not trying to offend you in anyway...it just seems as if there might be better choices available that could lead to a more emotional healthy situation for you and for her.

 

[High Tide]

I know, you're exactly right. She used to be a lot better to me, coming over and helping clean house and stuff. Now it's gotten to where if I don't have what she wants she won't hardly speak to me. And she used to make me feel like I was helping her, taking just a few and having a good time watching cartoons. Now she has gotten as bad on them as she was my CII stuff.

As I said before she really pushed me too far this past time. It isn't the first time I fell for it but it may be the last. When I'd feel guilty for sleeping with someone who has to be torn up she would say I just keep her from doing something worse. But I'm not going to touch someone who is in a zombie stage, so if she can't exercise more self control I gotta cut her loose. She knows I was supposed to get a letter this week but I told her nothing has arrived, so I'm moving in the right direction. There will always be another girl, just maybe not as young or pretty. But I'm not either so I'll have to take what I can get.

I've got an older girl sending me a text right now. I love Yahoo IM, all the sexting you can get and none of the charges. Or the pita of trying to use a phone to type. /default_smile.png The pita is trying to get what you want across in 144 spaces. But theres always .... for my rambling to reach across several messages.