Marriage is not what I'd hoped

[High Tide]

One thing that made me able to do what I did, sleeping with another mans wife, was what he did. His brother is a crack head and married to an even worse one who looks gawd awful. But my gf told me her hubby said he was paying his brothers wife for sex in days past. I kind of believe he knows we have relations and is glad she is at least with someone who cares for her and wouldn't do stuff that is sick when she is vulnerable.

 

[99 Luftballons]

Hows things going with your GF?

 

[High Tide]

You would be proud of me! Sorry I left you hanging so long I saw her yesterday for the first time in a month and would even let her in the house. I just have her a hug and told her I'd think about letting her help me clean house next week. I think I might be able to control myself and just get a taste every now and then. If the WD were getting better I wouldn't even do that, but I'm Jonesing as bad as ever. 

 

[Maybesomeday]

Hey guys, just checking in. Wish I could say things are better with me and my "husband", but in fact, they seem to be worse. I have never felt so trapped and hopeless in my entire life. Just wanted to vent for a moment.

 

[High Tide]

Hey guys, just checking in. Wish I could say things are better with me and my "husband", but in fact, they seem to be worse. I have never felt so trapped and hopeless in my entire life. Just wanted to vent for a moment.

Sorry you feel that way, vent all you need. As far as I'm concerned it's one of the great parts of about this site, you can usually find someone who understands through experience or is at least willing to offer a helping ear so to speak.  /default_wink.png

 It's one of the main reasons I see the young lady that I have referred to. She got married thinking his money would let her have the things she needed to be happy. Which was mainly a vehicle, and eventually money for a methadone clinic. She got her a decent ride, only she isn't allowed to use it unless he is with her. Now she's miserable AND married, which she thinks makes leaving harder than it really is. Sure, a divorce is necessary but marriage doesn't bind anyone to a life of slavery and misery. So vent all you want, I accept PM's if you feel the need. 

I may not know too much about most things but I do have experience in both being married and being miserable. 

 

[99 Luftballons]

Hey guys, just checking in. Wish I could say things are better with me and my "husband", but in fact, they seem to be worse. I have never felt so trapped and hopeless in my entire life. Just wanted to vent for a moment.

Any updates?

 

[longwaydown]

Hey guys, just checking in. Wish I could say things are better with me and my "husband", but in fact, they seem to be worse. I have never felt so trapped and hopeless in my entire life. Just wanted to vent for a moment

Any updates?

........ Make it look like an accident?

ha ha (j/k) .............

 

[longwaydown]

Any updates?

BTW- You had some great posts in here about learning from past experiences, your second marriage, and how you interact with your wife. Very well said- I am glad you have found happiness /default_smile.png

 

[99 Luftballons]

BTW- You had some great posts in here about learning from past experiences, your second marriage, and how you interact with your wife. Very well said- I am glad you have found happiness /default_smile.png

Thanks sugar pants!

I joke a ton but when it comes to relationships I am a BIG fan of loving like it's your last moment together....Think of all the people (just on this board) who abuse drugs because they have been wounded by a parent/spouse or friend. The people we love the most are the ones we hurt the most. The fact that God gave me a 2nd chance and did it with the most wonderful human on the planet is AMAZING to me.

I cherish her everyday....

All kidding aside, that's an incredible post 99. While I haven't been fortunate enough to run into 2nd wife material, truer words were never spoken. As I've told my children and others, the secret to marriage isn't that obscure. If you put the other person first, always, and they do the same, things work out well, in spite of challenges along the way. When one of both consistently put their own needs first, it invariably fails. Selfless service to those you love. Therein lies the key.

IDK Jewy....maybe you have /default_wink.png

 

[longwaydown]

Thanks sugar pants!

I joke a ton but when it comes to relationships I am a BIG fan of loving like it's your last moment together....Think of all the people (just on this board) who abuse drugs because they have been wounded by a parent/spouse or friend. The people we love the most are the ones we hurt the most. The fact that God gave me a 2nd chance and did it with the most wonderful human on the planet is AMAZING to me.

I cherish her everyday....

IDK Jewy....maybe you have /default_wink.png

99- you are too funny, you seem to always know when I need a laugh or when to send me a nice message- like today. On another note, do you also moonlight as a professional matchmaker??

 

[99 Luftballons]

99- you are too funny, you seem to always know when I need a laugh or when to send me a nice message- like today. On another note, do you also moonlight as a professional matchmaker??

Don't get me started...I got my high school shop teacher and typing teacher to go out on a date...they married 4 months later...I kept telling them the other was asking about them...I told my shop teacher that my typing teacher told me she wanted him to ask her out...so he did! Once they started dating they figured it out and I got all A's in both classes /default_wink.png 

I also hooked up my BF with my Admin back in 2002. Still married today and she works for Goolge and he still makes games...

I have a feeling about certain things...

I'm glad my Pm put a smile on your face!!!!

 

[_X_]

^^ Dis man, has the "kwan" ^^

 

[longwaydown]

Don't get me started...I got my high school shop teacher and typing teacher to go out on a date...they married 4 months later...I kept telling them the other was asking about them...I told my shop teacher that my typing teacher told me she wanted him to ask her out...so he did! Once they started dating they figured it out and I got all A's in both classes /default_wink.png 

I also hooked up my BF with my Admin back in 2002. Still married today and she works for Goolge and he still makes games...

I have a feeling about certain things...

I'm glad my Pm put a smile on your face!!!!

LMAO!! It's like you have special powers! As if the force is with you? You should put that to good use and make some $$$ by telling everyone who they will marry and what their future holds! I suppose we will have to wait and see if the force is with you this time. Jewy has women flocking to him like sheep! I am but only one wooly sheep out of many running around after him!

Yes, your PM did indeed- nice, thoughtful and even gave some job direction for this jobless wonder!

 

[longwaydown]

Don't get me started...I got my high school shop teacher and typing teacher to go out on a date...they married 4 months later...I kept telling them the other was asking about them...I told my shop teacher that my typing teacher told me she wanted him to ask her out...so he did! Once they started dating they figured it out and I got all A's in both classes /default_wink.png

I also hooked up my BF with my Admin back in 2002. Still married today and she works for Goolge and he still makes games...

I have a feeling about certain things...

I'm glad my Pm put a smile on your face!!!!

I really think you just want to marry people in general- and to complete your lifelong matchmaking powers, you should also become ordained online. Get a little certificate and you are good to go!!

99 spreading love and happiness all over the world!! /default_smile.png

 

[99 Luftballons]

I really think you just want to marry people in general- and to complete your lifelong matchmaking powers, you should also become ordained online. Get a little certificate and you are good to go!!

99 spreading love and happiness all over the world!! /default_smile.png

Funny thing is....if I did marry people I would cry the whole time...

 

[Maybesomeday]

Hi all. I've been on my own since April. No plans to divorce, but I won't be surprised if we do. I don't feel miserable anymore, but I am still sad.

Just trying to focus on myself and my work and taking care of things. I didn't really get much financial support before, so it's not shocking to me that he hasn't offered me a dime.

It's the nights like tonight, when I can't sleep and it's so late that get to me. But it will pass.

HT - I tried to send you a PM, but it wouldn't let me.

99 - you're so right. If both ppl aren't putting in 100%, it's very difficult to stay afloat in a relationship. You're blessed to have found it.

 

[kittykat]

@ Maybesomeday IF i could add something........I have been there and divorced with 2 small boys 9 mo and 1/2 on my own....First off you need to put yourself first for a change...Let your other have that you are able to stand on your own two feet......Sure it is great to have a boyfriend /husband but if something was to happen not saying that it will....You need to be able to stand on your own two feet for you. Having a man in your life is wonderful but sometimes things happen...  Be a strong woman and make the fact known i can stand on my own two feet and i would like a companion/ husband but i can do it on my own..... That is my experience...Raised my 2 boys by my self for 10 years shit sure it it hard but I did it and by myself what a fantastic feeling...

Good luck to you....I hope that made some kind of sense..

KK

 

[kittykat]

@ Maybesomeday IF i could add something........I have been there and divorced with 2 small boys 9 mo and 1/2 on my own....First off you need to put yourself first for a change...Let your other have that you are able to stand on your own two feet......Sure it is great to have a boyfriend /husband but if something was to happen not saying that it will....You need to be able to stand on your own two feet for you. Having a man in your life is wonderful but sometimes things happen...  Be a strong woman and make the fact known i can stand on my own two feet and i would like a companion/ husband but i can do it on my own..... That is my experience...Raised my 2 boys by my self for 10 years shit sure it it hard but I did it and by myself what a fantastic feeling...

Good luck to you....I hope that made some kind of sense..  Iwasliterally donewith menbecause they mostly are out forthere self not all but most....So I faced the fact that ok I willbe by myself and I can stand on my own2 feet so It is what it is....Then I met the most amazing kind hearted loving and considerate man and things are great....And he is an AWESOME stepdad tomy boys....

KK

 

[Maybesomeday]

Yes it did. I can stand on my own two feet - before marrying him and since. I own my home, my car, have a good job and can pay my bills. I don't need him to provide.

I have dealt with the loss of my beloved four legged child, the dealings of my grandmother going into hospice and the news of my father having been diagnosed with cancer all on my own these last 6 months. Has it been difficult? Yep. But I know I can take care of myself.

Do I WANT my husband to be there and be emotionally supportive? Of course. I'd love nothing more. I realize it's probably a long shot.

I just have a hard time thinking that I might get divorced for the second time. This wasn't in my life plan. I guess it's not in anyone's.

 

[kittykat]

Yes it did. I can stand on my own two feet - before marrying him and since. I own my home, my car, have a good job and can pay my bills. I don't need him to provide.

I have dealt with the loss of my beloved four legged child, the dealings of my grandmother going into hospice and the news of my father having been diagnosed with cancer all on my own these last 6 months. Has it been difficult? Yep. But I know I can take care of myself.

Do I WANT my husband to be there and be emotionally supportive? Of course. I'd love nothing more. I realize it's probably a long shot.

I just have a hard time thinking that I might get divorced for the second time. This wasn't in my life plan. I guess it's not in anyone's.

Ihad a feeling you couldstand on your own two feet and I am very sorry for what you have been going through....I have been divorced twice and the thirdis a charm....Maybe you can set upsome date nites and try to start over?I know this sounds corney but it might help and trytotake your mind off of things for just a minute....I Hoped I  little. If you need to vent or talk you are more than welcome to pm me ...Just a suggestion... One more thing open  communication is the key....Tell him or at least explain it to him... He might not know what to do to help you...Don't give up....

KK.