Marriage is not what I'd hoped

[Denise]

Denise is nice /default_smile.png.

(Blushing)   Thank you so much, Smokey.  

I'm just me being who I am. 

With me what you see is what you get - the good, the bad, the ugly LOL

Never have to ask my opinion on things, I suppose........   /default_tongue.png

If I have helped others, I am grateful for the opportunity - and I thank all those who came to me for help and allowed me to help.  You don't realize how much it means to me since I can no longer work helping people, and it makes my life a little bit happier when I can still do things to make the world a better place and other people's lives better.

I've had a terrible couple of days -  Thank you so much, Beranda, and all my friends who  sent me messages lately.  Knowing people think about me and care enough to contact me, just say "hi",  is a wonderful medication for what ails me currently.

 

[Denise]

That's nice of you to notice and let her know Beranda. I've had the pleasure of knowing what a special lady she is for a while now. If not for the distance she is one of the few ladies here I might actually "hit on". I know we'd be good friends, as we are now, but her passion, compassion, intellect and gorgeous hair (among other pretty parts) would make me fall for her in no time. 

And please people, don't let this get taken out of context. Denise knows I  /default_wub.png her and if you know her I'm sure you do to. Heres some hugs for you Denise. XX /default_sleep.png  XX Along with a place for a peck on the cheek. /default_biggrin.png

Thank you, my dear wonderful friend.  We do have much in common and hit it off instantly as friends. 

I wish everyone knew the huge, generous, kind, unselfish heart you have and your constant willingness to help others, even when you are needing help yourself or being taken advantage of......

I have great affection for you also and look forward to continuing in the future as friends.

Yes, I know how to joke around with guys since I've been around mostly guys my entire life. I prefer 'hanging out' with men than women to be honest.  Women can be really cruel and catty - girls hated me because I was cute and liked by guys (even tho just friends).

H.T., You'd get a hug and kiss of affection from me, too, I know you understand my situation and things we've discussed, some we didn't even need to put in words but just understood.  Kindred spirits.

Where I'm from, everybody is "honey", "sweetie" or "sugar", "darlin" - people use XO as a symbol of affectionate friendship, everybody hugs and kisses all around,  and everybody knows these things are actually showing southern custom of respect or acceptance & trust for the person (plutonic) - not trying to get laid or come on to others. 

Like We wave at everybody that drives by from porch even tho we don't know them. 

It's a mindset and lifestyle - that I missing so very much I am considering something I know prob foolish trying to get back there. 

Off Topic:  If there is anyone with experience of receiving or legal knowledge about - comp settlements - please PM me for a couple of questions.

Have comp lawyer who already received his $ so he could care less about any needs I have now - won't even answer emails or calls  (Comp lawyers supposed to represent you for rest of life on the one comp issue you hired them for in this state - if they receive % of settlement) 

So if I did take a final lifetime settlement to close out my comp case (except medical treatment) - I DO NOT want that inconsiderate, lazy, lying, low-life scum to get a single penny of this.  He's already gotten $1,000's from first settlement on my degree of disability.  If he's treated me right I wouldn't begrudge him  some pay but he hasn't done anything on my behalf since got his $. 

I'm insane.  I know most prob I should not do it.  I just want harassment to be over and I want to go back home - it would make moving back south possible for me in a few months time.

I'm sick of people so selfish, so stuck in their own little worlds, feeling need to tear others down cuz they feel inferior to others, looking for excuses to take offense at people's innocent actions instead of discussing them like adults - the better to understand other parts of our nation & world,  esp different customs and perspectives.

Because I always had many male friends, I understand things some women don't, I guess.  I have a different perspective (psych training prob doesn't hurt) and know how guys talk when alone  (I was considered "one of the guys" when younger.... cuz I was a pardner)

I know sometimes things go too far before realized, for ex jokes getting out of hand. 

"Quittin' sense" we call it. Some people aren't born with it LOL....... And I understand when it happens that it wasn't an intentional action - it may be impulsive, inappropriate, unfortunate, usually ill-timed.....but doesn't indicate a bad or evil person - NOT AT ALL

Just my opinion - most of dbg knows I'm not shy about expressing my feelings.   /default_biggrin.png 

Used to be, then I grew strong enough, brave enough, and wise enough not to stuff down how I feel but rather stand up for what or who you believe in & care about.

 

[Denise]

BACK TO THE TOPIC:

 

  4 Steps to Restoring Intimacy in Your Marriage

Intimacy is a vitally important part of any marriage. Use these simple steps to get it back and create the loving marriage you really want to have.
BY LIAM NADEN

  Is your marriage lacking intimacy? Has the affection gone from your relationship? Although the first (and most obvious) sign that things have cooled between the two of you is a lack of sex—or even mundane sex where you feel no connection with your partner—"intimacy" covers other things as well. It can be touching, holding each other, kissing, cuddling... any form of physical contact that creates a positive emotional response in you.

Unfortunately, for many couples the intimacy has all but gone from their marriage. They're simply "going through the motions" of marriage without any signs of physical affection. Often this is more painful for one person than the other. Many times, one is going through emotional distress due to a lack of intimacy, while the other might seem to hardly notice. All too often, if the intimacy is not restored between a couple, it can result in the end of the marriage, with one (or both) people deciding to look for intimacy elsewhere.

If you are wanting to bring back the intimacy into your marriage there are four steps you can take. They can help create that zing again between you and your spouse.

1. Identify the real reason why the intimacy has gone. Many times people relate a lack of intimacy to problems in the marriage and the conviction that "he or she doesn't find me attractive any more." But usually there are other reasons outside of the marriage that cause one or both partners to pull away. They can be stresses and pressures from other areas of life: finances, career or other family members.

It's important to identify what pressures might be on you and or your spouse that are causing you to feel unhappy and less interested in being intimate and affectionate. By reducing other pressures, you and your partner will feel better about life and about each other.

2. Focus on reconnecting emotionally with your spouse. If your husband or wife is pulling away from you emotionally and not giving you the intimate affection you want and need, it's often tempting to try to get them physical without warming them up emotionally first. Find ways to get your partner to feel good about you emotionally. This can be as simple as making them laugh (with a funny story or joke), getting them to remember a happy or fun occasion you both shared, or doing something that you both enjoy. Add some lightness and fun back into your marriage and you set the stage for intimacy to follow, naturally.

3. Understand your partner's intimacy style. Not everyone likes to be touched! Some people are naturally more physical than others and it comes down to something called "communication style." If your spouse (or you) find that touch is a bit "creepy" (at least to start with), experiment with other ways to start an intimate connection. It could be with sound (saying something complimentary or affectionate) or sight (a particular look or smile you might give them).

These are very overlooked–yet powerful–ways to rebuild intimacy. It doesn't always start with the physical, although if you discover your partner's intimacy style, the physical is much more likely to follow.

4. Keep the pressure off. People can become very distressed when the intimacy wanes in their marriage. They can become hurt, angry, depressed and even irrational in their behavior if they are starved of intimacy and affection. However, give it time and allow intimacy to return rather than forcing it to happen or getting impatient. Follow the steps above and it most likely will happen, but you will kill the chances if you or your spouse feel under any sort of pressure.

Liam Naden is a marriage and relationships coach specializing in helping couples to save their marriage from divorce. He is a best-selling author of more than 20 books, host of the Growing in Love for Life podcast, the creator of three online programs and a speaker and workshop presenter. You can get more information at his website liamnaden.com and follow him on Google+.

 

[High Tide]

Thank you, my dear wonderful friend.  We do have much in common and hit it off instantly as friends. 

I wish everyone knew the huge, generous, kind, unselfish heart you have and your constant willingness to help others, even when you are needing help yourself or being taken advantage of......

I have great affection for you also and look forward to continuing in the future as friends.

Yes, I know how to joke around with guys since I've been around mostly guys my entire life. I prefer 'hanging out' with men than women to be honest.  Women can be really cruel and catty - girls hated me because I was cute and liked by guys (even tho just friends).

H.T., You'd get a hug and kiss of affection from me, too, I know you understand my situation and things we've discussed, some we didn't even need to put in words but just understood.  Kindred spirits.

Where I'm from, everybody is "honey", "sweetie" or "sugar", "darlin" - people use XO as a symbol of affectionate friendship, everybody hugs and kisses all around,  and everybody knows these things are actually showing southern custom of respect or acceptance & trust for the person (plutonic) - not trying to get laid or come on to others. 

Like We wave at everybody that drives by from porch even tho we don't know them. 

It's a mindset and lifestyle - that I missing so very much I am considering something I know prob foolish trying to get back there. 

Off Topic:  If there is anyone with experience of receiving or legal knowledge about - comp settlements - please PM me for a couple of questions.

Have comp lawyer who already received his $ so he could care less about any needs I have now - won't even answer emails or calls  (Comp lawyers supposed to represent you for rest of life on the one comp issue you hired them for in this state - if they receive % of settlement) 

So if I did take a final lifetime settlement to close out my comp case (except medical treatment) - I DO NOT want that inconsiderate, lazy, lying, low-life scum to get a single penny of this.  He's already gotten $1,000's from first settlement on my degree of disability.  If he's treated me right I wouldn't begrudge him  some pay but he hasn't done anything on my behalf since got his $. 

I'm insane.  I know most prob I should not do it.  I just want harassment to be over and I want to go back home - it would make moving back south possible for me in a few months time.

I'm sick of people so selfish, so stuck in their own little worlds, feeling need to tear others down cuz they feel inferior to others, looking for excuses to take offense at people's innocent actions instead of discussing them like adults - the better to understand other parts of our nation & world,  esp different customs and perspectives.

I'm sorry, I wish I could answer you question, or even point you to a source that may help. I've never had any experience with WC claims, and only know one person who did. I'm not even sure what problems you are having, as far as I knew there was only one settlement. I had no idea the same case could involve more than the damages and future medical costs. Seems like you got the damages, are you saying you are having trouble getting paid your medical costs? 

Maybe if you feel comfortable enough telling what state your claim is in, and if my guess about the current problem is correct, someone may be able to help. 

Also, thanks for the kind words sweetheart. With my friend gone for a few months you are now my current #1 sweetheart. You've held that spot as far as online friends go for a long time, but unless I find a person I can actually physically hug you'll be my #1 in all types of relationships.

 

[Denise]

@ HIGHTIDE     You deserve so much more than that.    You talk about me helping others, when I joined DBG I saw you helping many members......  I took my lead from you, Boo, F.G., Shattered and other kind members

You don't give yourself enough credit.   

Perhaps because as I said above, there are some people in this world that are only happy when others aren't happy,  who only take never give, who have no concepts of loyalty or friendship or honor, people who have to attack & tear down others thinking it will cure their own inferiority.

Unfortunately, based on behavior of some people who criticized you (but talk/act almost exactly like you - hypocrites!).......you have gotten down on yourself listening to their BULLSHIT!

I say to you - DO NOT DO THIS!  DON'T LET THEM IN YOUR HEAD!!!  YOU ARE WORTH MUCH TO ME AND OTHERS YOU'VE HELPED!  Even with your problems, you find time for others.  You are a wonderful person, who has problems like ALL of us do.   But don't accept the monkeys hypocrites would like to put on your back!

DAMN THE UNGRATEFUL ONES YOU'VE HELPED - may their evil deeds be aptly rewarded! 

Let it be so.  As above, so below.

You know I still love my husband.......but I am glad to be your #1 friend

which is BFF to some people like us,     and not to others (who don't matter)

And, like I did to grade school bullies, if they pick on you,  I'll kick their shins or throw food on them during lunch.

Yes, I did that to bullies and my teachers looked the other way.  Never got into trouble.

By 2nd grade bullies left me and my friends alone......and any smaller kids within my sight.

(H.T.   Let me know how you're doing. I worry about you being so isolated and lonely......   /default_smile.png )

 

[kittykat]

@ HIGHTIDE     You deserve so much more than that.    You talk about me helping others, when I joined DBG I saw you helping many members..

You don't give yourself another credit.   

Perhaps because as I said above, there are some people in this world that are only happy when others aren't happy, who only take never give, who have no concepts of loyalty or friendship or honor, people who have to attack & tear down others thinking it will cure their own inferiority.

Unfortunately, based on behavior of some people who criticized you (but talk/act almost exactly like you - hypocrites!).......you have gotten down on yourself listening to their BULLSHIT!

I say to you - DO NOT DO THIS!  YOU ARE WORTH MUCH TO ME AND OTHERS YOU'VE HELPED!

DAMN THE UNGRATEFUL ONES - may their evil deeds be aptly rewarded!

You know I still love my husband.......but I am glad to be your #1 friend

which is BFF to some like us,  and not to others (who don't matter)

And, like I did in grade school to bullies, if they pick on you,  I'll kick their shins or throw food on them during lunch 

Yes, I did that to bullies and teachers looked the other way, too, because I was their little  "genius" and all that crap.

(H.T.   Let me know how you're doing.)

Nicely said Ms. D /default_smile.png

 

[kittykat]

Excuse me for adding my 2 cents....Sometimes people get off on the wrong foot....But in reality we are a great little community to help each other....Alot of valuable information from alot of people on this board....Sometimes you just have to let things go and start fresh.....Sorry for interupting.... People lose loved ones and it just absolutly sucks...Husbands , Friends,Parents and even Children....Which has happened to me he would have been 17 yrs old on Nov 11th Veterans day. Six weeks after our son passed he wanted a divorce...life goes on......That can ruin a relationship/marriage...Life happens and there is not a thing we can do....Live for today. The Past is gone but remember the great times that you have had and shared and cherish them!!!!And as far as the future it is not here yet....Just kive for the the day to the fullest....Everyone deserves to be happy....jUST REMEMBER YOUR loved ones are not suffering.....Also you need to be honest with yourself,if your marriage is not working then you need to end it.......Everything happens for a reason.....

KK

 

[kittykat]

@ Denise you have made some great points in this thread...Hats off to you!

KK

 

[Denise]

@ Denise you have made some great points in this thread...Hats off to you!

KK

I MAY NOT AFTER MY NEXT POST...........

We'll see what people here are made of now.

I'm in the mood for TRUTH.......feel scummy after talking to lawyers & liars all day

Now I just want to say how I feel and what's on my mind.....it ain't gonna be pretty.

Just Honest.

 

[kittykat]

I MAY NOT AFTER MY NEXT POST...........

We'll see what people here are made of now.

I'm in the mood for TRUTH.......feel scummy after talking to lawyers & liars all day

Now I just want to say how I feel and what's on my mind.....it ain't gonna be pretty.

Just Honest.

Well go for it.....Freedom of speech!   Plus it might make you feel better....We are all grown adults here....  Yes talking to Lawyers and Liars can wear you patients thin...

 

[High Tide]

I MAY NOT AFTER MY NEXT POST...........

We'll see what people here are made of now.

I'm in the mood for TRUTH.......feel scummy after talking to lawyers & liars all day

Now I just want to say how I feel and what's on my mind.....it ain't gonna be pretty.

Just Honest.

I agree with KK, sometimes the only way to endd the frustration is to let it all out. My only sdvice is to write it on Word Pad and wait a day to reflect and see if you really want to say it. I'm sure you are much brighter than me but have we all been unfortunate enough to let our feeling know at the heat of the moment only to regret it afterwards.

That being said, don't worry about me hon. I've went a long time with someone to love, aside from family, and survived so it won't be something that I can't handle. 6-7 months and maybe I'll be able to get back together with her occasionally. It's the time of year that depresses me and makes me hurt bad anyway. Hopefully she will find a way to contact me while in her forced rehab, ttthat would lift my spirits more than anything. Even if she decides that as an addict it's best not to see me anymore that would hurt but be true. Better my heart be broke than me help her become the samw addict she was when I met her. As they say, if you love them set them free.

Well go for it.....Freedom of speech!   Plus it might make you feel better....We are all grown adults here....  Yes talking to Lawyers and Liars can wear you patients thin...

No truer words have been spoken. I just wish I could give that post more than a +1. Well said my dear, very well said.

 

[Denise]

Nicely said Ms. D /default_smile.png

Thank you, kittykat.  I appreciate it.      I need to get some things off my chest and I'm in the mood to do it, too.

 I may make history of being 2nd behind Hooter to get a warning point or maybe banned, for all I know.  

We'll see how thin-skinned people over me here are to my opinions. If they can take it or have to be malicious.                                        

 As you say, kk,  freedom of speech.

.

I'm wondering when does High Tide, a popular member on this forum, get another chance to receive PMs from his true friends on this forum?  When does "INDEFINITELY" end?   HOW LONG MUST WE WAIT? 

Ok, somebody tell me it's none of my business cuz I'm not a mod.....I'm his #1 Friend - so it IS my business to stand up for him because he won't do it for himself, and his other friends are afraid, I guess.... (in fact, he doesn't know I'm doing this  -  Hello HIGH TIDE - SURPRISE!    /default_biggrin.png  )

I agree with KK, sometimes the only way to endd the frustration is to let it all out. My only sdvice is to write it on Word Pad and wait a day to reflect and see if you really want to say it. I'm sure you are much brighter than me but have we all been unfortunate enough to let our feeling know at the heat of the moment only to regret it afterwards.

That being said, don't worry about me hon. I've went a long time with someone to love, aside from family, and survived so it won't be something that I can't handle. 6-7 months and maybe I'll be able to get back together with her occasionally. It's the time of year that depresses me and makes me hurt bad anyway. Hopefully she will find a way to contact me while in her forced rehab, ttthat would lift my spirits more than anything. Even if she decides that as an addict it's best not to see me anymore that would hurt but be true. Better my heart be broke than me help her become the samw addict she was when I met her. As they say, if you love them set them free.

No truer words have been spoken. I just wish I could give that post more than a +1. Well said my dear, very well said.

BUT I DO WORRY ABOUT YOU, H.T.  - BECAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE BECOMING EVEN MORE ISOLATED,  LONELY,  DEPRESSED......

LOSING SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT AND HAVE SPENT MUCH TIME & ENERGY HELPING.  JUST TO BE ALONE AGAIN.

LOST ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR MANY FRIENDS HERE.

NOT ABLE TO PM OR REACH FRIENDS YOU CARE ABOUT HERE IS HURTING YOU - PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, EMOTIONALLY  -  WHEN YOUR OLD FRIENDS DESERT YOU - OVER A BAD JOKE! ........ I DESPISE THAT. 

I weep for you......my heart is breaking because I know you suffer more due to this, as if you don't already suffer enough.  We both do.

I CURSE THE FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS WHO DESERTED YOU - may they someday experience what they are putting you thru.......  

I ask for Justice.

Let it be -  as above so below

 

I apologize,  H.T.,  because you're probably embarrassed by this post, being a humble person (despite the potty mouth LOL)   - but dammit, people are hurting you and I won't sit by silently anymore knowing how you suffer - it eats away at me.  Maybe because we both have such limited, isolated worlds - I know the negative effects of this on you and your health - as if it was me. tho you try to minimize it and play it down.  You forget I am trained to assess people's mental health......

Kindred spirits sense each other's pain because they're floating around in the same metaphysical sexual dimension or if thru some quantum entanglement  blah blah technical jargon blah blah   we become linked by quantum tunnelling ...... I may just show up at your house out of thin air....... seriously, look it up - it's matter going from one place to another w/o moving.......

No really, some scientist named Joe Biden discovered the metaphysical sexual dimension or was it Anthony Wiener?

I never can remember....... Always get those 2 confused....(?).........  Hope I got you to laugh

It's like you were given a Life Sentence for reckless driving.  Can anyone say "over-kill" ? 

You have over 240 rep points for good posts, HT.

Around here I guess it must be a matter of  "one aw-sh*t erases all your atta-boys".

This, over a long ago deleted post, that most members I ask tell me they didn't even see?

Reason to reject you "indefinitely" from PM and isolate you from true friends?

Why are you still allowed to post if you're so dangerous?  /default_blink.png

I'm glad you are (allowed to post, not dangerous   /default_laugh.png ) - but if post is root cause of all your troubles, why no warning points or inability to post given?

I cannot tolerate it a moment longer without speaking up or lose my own self-respect.     

Indefinitely is a bullshit word.

H.T., you and I know why you really still don't have a PM button returned - which was magically removed SOON after you confided question to a certain member.   I won't post the question - but trust me, dbg members, what I see was an honest and appropriate question w/o any  broken rules or inappropriate actions accompanying it that would warrant such treatment to a DBG member.   

What REALLY p*sses me off is all the sexual banter, jokes, pictures on dbg continues while you are being punished for almost same things they do - some are funny and I enjoy,  but some are OFFENSIVE TO ME.....yet I don't act like a crybaby about it - been around men all my life - yal mostly talk & joke the same way  -- don't try to deny it.......I don't let it bother me, I just move along to something I find more tasteful usually, occ indulge with yal.

But when I see page after page, or  entire threads, devoted to nothing but sexually related posts......

then someone complains about your tasteless joke? - when there's a thread here for tasteless jokes?  WTF?          Hypocrites.

And the bad part is - I actually like most dbg members.....even when they're jerks sometimes - cuz we all have faults.

You're right, H.T.  I need to stop.  I have a notepad where I was composing a scathing post.......I've said some of what I needed to say.   I will give myself a time out and think about how to best express myself appropriately.     (If I don't get banned.....)

If I get banned.....99 has one of my email addresses for anyone who wants to contact me......  So do Jewy and Hooter1.

-----------------------

Mostly Off Topic:

At the Civil war re-enactment 2 wks ago, my grandson took out entire left flank of Union army in first skirmish and then 2nd time entire center flank w/his handful of men, while rest of Boy Scout Yankee army fled screaming "It's Stonewall" (that's what his flag said - Stonewall - is it a coincidence his middle name is Jackson? or he insisted on being in Confederate army when rest of his troop Union? or that he cries when he speaks of how the south was treated after the war? No - cuz we still remember in the south, our ancestors have passed down those stories) - He lined up all union survivors (even wounded) and had all of them executed - Officers first. He said "Never leave an enemy behind alive to attack you again".

His "General" let him plan all battle strategy 2nd battle.  (BS General was 5 yr "vet", my grandson's first time - adult re-enactors coming up and congratulating him, said he did things they'd never seen in a re-enactment - like he had his men fall on a live Union soldier with saber or knife after they were shot, as they "died" - and incapacitate that enemy soldier   LOL)  I just had to share that, I thought it was so special - some re-enactors gave him left-over "black powder" which he sneaked night before under Union cannons.....so as he "died" on top of the Union General, he pulled string and "blew up" all Union cannons. Confeds chasing Yanks all way back to tents    /default_biggrin.png     He is so awesome.  I love my grandson very much.

I'm wondering if he should try to go to West Point   LMAO

--------------------------

However, there is a time for discretion so I will heed my BFF HIGH TIDE's advice and bide my time to consider carefully what to say, if anything else

Maybe this will be enough to cool my jets and at least feel I've taken a stand for my values & beliefs, for my caring friend, HIGH TIDE, who deserves to be allowed communication with friends here who want to talk to him.   That's why I suggested HT be able to "receive" PM's.  Then they could at least get his email if they want to converse with him.

Done.  I'm exhausted.  I'm in agony pain-wise.  Mentally & emotionally, I'm torn up over this and some other issues.  I'm done.

If this is my last defiant post at dbg (LOL)  it was nice to meet most of you  -  keep things going. 

Resist conformity and control by govt,. or anyone else, until your last breath. 

 

[Jewbacca]

Well, this was certainly an unexpected start to my morning. Given the sensitive, highly personal and, where board leadership is concerned, derogatory nature of the sentiments expressed, I have no public comment at this time.

That having been said, this is an open forum, and any member who cares to comment is certainly free to do so.

Jewbacca

 

[Heisenberg / HNB]

Denise, HT's PMs were not disabled because of a "joke". I personally do not wish to discuss HT's business publicly, but since you brought it up publicly, I will explain. HT's PMs were disabled after MULTIPLE female members reported feeling uncomfortable and violated after receiving suggestive and perverted PMs from High Tide. Including a disturbing picture. You could take a wild guess what it was.

Did I not go out of my way a few weeks back to give you HT's email address, so that you could stay in touch with your "BFF"? Jewy and I, and other former mods, have been nothing but helpful to you, and I view your above post as a rude slap in the face. If you don't like DBG, or how its run, the exit is clearly marked for you.

 

[DGSB0708]

D-.  Indeed there was a post by HT that was in no way a bad joke, it was an outright abomination.  You may not have seen it because thankfully the moderators here removed it very quickly.  I, however, did see it briefly and while I will not go into the specifics of it, HT knows exactly what it was, he knows it wasn't a joke and it was absolutely highly offensive to many people, both male and female and in fact caused some significant concerns for some of the female members here.  That combined with what H refers to above regarding the horrible PM's that were sent to quite a number of female members (some good contributors who actually left this board because of it) normally would have gotten a person banned here on the spot.  HT caught a huge break by not being banned on the spot and IMHO, I think the moderators went above and beyond by only removing his ability to PM.  Again, these were not jokes, no matter how much you want to try and slant them to say they were and make it so.  That is akin to saying a woman getting punched in the face and has her nose broken by her significant other because she dropped a pencil is a joke.  Also as I read H's post above stating he provided you with an alternate, private way to contact HT, I am at a loss as to the point of your rambling rant that is complete fiction regarding what HT posted, both on the board and in the PM's to members. Off color banter is one thing... but if it makes one uncomfortable they should still speak up.  This was far above and beyond banter.  There is a line that seems to be generally acceptable regarding that type of banter, occasionally it is slightly crossed slightly by someone.  But you are judging a raisin against a watermelon here, all due respect.  But if HT has told you what really was in the post (including what he put in there with  his "hidden" ink) and then what he said / did in the PM's to multiple females on this board and you still think that was a joke... wow, something way out of whack going on with you.  S-

 

[DorothyZbornak]

Well, this was certainly an unexpected start to my morning. Given the sensitive, highly personal and, where board leadership is concerned, derogatory nature of the sentiments expressed, I have no public comment at this time.

That having been said, this is an open forum, and any member who cares to comment is certainly free to do so.

Jewbacca

Denise, HT's PMs were not disabled because of a "joke". I personally do not wish to discuss HT's business publicly, but since you brought it up publicly, I will explain. HT's PMs were disabled after MULTIPLE female members reported feeling uncomfortable and violated after receiving suggestive and perverted PMs from High Tide. Including a disturbing picture. You could take a wild guess what it was.

Did I not go out of my way a few weeks back to give you HT's email address, so that you could stay in touch with your "BFF"? Jewy and I, and other former mods, have been nothing but helpful to you, and I view your above post as a rude slap in the face. If you don't like DBG, or how its run, the exit is clearly marked for you.

Unexpected read to me as well.  I read it, took it all in and then asked myself, 'Well, what does that have to do with the price of rice in China?' - or better yet, how does it relate to Marriage is not what I'd hoped?

Now that I have a better understanding of the rules, I suppose that I will change tonight's plan of sending the fella's of DBG nude photo's of Bea Arthur.

Most importantly - I don't think that the Mods would take away anyone's privileges, whether it be PM's, posting, etc...just out of spite.  From all that I have witnessed, they have been nothing but fair, even to those that they are not friends with.  Now knowing why HT's PM capabilities were revoked, I completely understand and believe that they did the right thing.  Personally, I don't want to open my message box to random soldiers and duffle bags.  The appropriate course of action was surely taken and it is very well understood why because there is a chance that the same situation could arise (aw geez) again. 

 

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Wow... This thread today has left me...speechless.

 

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Denise, HT's PMs were not disabled because of a "joke". I personally do not wish to discuss HT's business publicly, but since you brought it up publicly, I will explain. HT's PMs were disabled after MULTIPLE female members reported feeling uncomfortable and violated after receiving suggestive and perverted PMs from High Tide. Including a disturbing picture. You could take a wild guess what it was.

Did I not go out of my way a few weeks back to give you HT's email address, so that you could stay in touch with your "BFF"? Jewy and I, and other former mods, have been nothing but helpful to you, and I view your above post as a rude slap in the face. If you don't like DBG, or how its run, the exit is clearly marked for you.

H- Thank you VERY much for posting this. It is appreciated. I was ready to go back into hiding..

 

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D-.  Indeed there was a post by HT that was in no way a bad joke, it was an outright abomination.  You may not have seen it because thankfully the moderators here removed it very quickly.  I, however, did see it briefly and while I will not go into the specifics of it, HT knows exactly what it was, he knows it wasn't a joke and it was absolutely highly offensive to many people, both male and female and in fact caused some significant concerns for some of the female members here.  That combined with what H refers to above regarding the horrible PM's that were sent to quite a number of female members (some good contributors who actually left this board because of it) normally would have gotten a person banned here on the spot.  HT caught a huge break by not being banned on the spot and IMHO, I think the moderators went above and beyond by only removing his ability to PM.  Again, these were not jokes, no matter how much you want to try and slant them to say they were and make it so.  That is akin to saying a woman getting punched in the face and has her nose broken by her significant other because she dropped a pencil is a joke.  Also as I read H's post above stating he provided you with an alternate, private way to contact HT, I am at a loss as to the point of your rambling rant that is complete fiction regarding what HT posted, both on the board and in the PM's to members. Off color banter is one thing... but if it makes one uncomfortable they should still speak up.  This was far above and beyond banter.  There is a line that seems to be generally acceptable regarding that type of banter, occasionally it is slightly crossed slightly by someone.  But you are judging a raisin against a watermelon here, all due respect.  But if HT has told you what really was in the post (including what he put in there with  his "hidden" ink) and then what he said / did in the PM's to multiple females on this board and you still think that was a joke... wow, something way out of whack going on with you.  S-

Thank you for this- great post!! Couldn't agree more with this..

 

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Well, this was certainly an unexpected start to my morning. Given the sensitive, highly personal and, where board leadership is concerned, derogatory nature of the sentiments expressed, I have no public comment at this time.

That having been said, this is an open forum, and any member who cares to comment is certainly free to do so.

Jewbacca

Thank you to all the mods for doing a fantastic job with this forum.