Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I think I only thought the magic was there to begin with...

I am still hoping for a Dharma and Greg kind of marriage. Third time's the charm, they say...

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I wanna be your future 3rd x-husband! /default_wub.png :wub:

 
All joking aside... I loved being married. It was more than I hoped for. I was a better person because of her love...I love the "idea" of total commitment...yeah its over now but I am so thankful for the time I had with her. She is a wonderful person...blessed am I that she allowed me to bask in the warmth of her love...even if it was just for a moment.

Some would say I should be jaded due to the lose of this love...but I am not! I am ever hopeful that love will finds its way to me as the fragrance of of a blossom finds its way to a bee. She is out there...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=1AJmKkU5POA

 
I don't think I'm jaded. I just think I married the wrong person. It happens, you know?

I'm all for love. I'm all for total commitment.

But I'm also tired of being married to a selfish, misogynistic boy. I don't need nor want someone playing dictator over me. That doesn't fly with me.

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I don't think I'm jaded. I just think I married the wrong person. It happens, you know?

I'm all for love. I'm all for total commitment.

But I'm also tired of being married to a selfish, misogynistic boy. I don't need nor want someone playing dictator over me. That doesn't fly with me.

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Amen. I felt the same way about the former Mrs. Jewbacca, although in her case, it wasn't misogynistic, dictatorial behavior as much as it was her inability to keep her pants on in the back seat of strange men's vehicles.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but that was a bit of an issue for me. /default_biggrin.png

 
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Amen. I felt the same way about the former Mrs. Jewbacca, although in her case, it wasn't misogynistic, dictatorial behavior as much as it was her inability to keep her pants on in the back seat of strange men's vehicles.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but that was a bit of an issue for me. /default_biggrin.png
Ha. Would be for me, too.

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I don't think I'm jaded. I just think I married the wrong person. It happens, you know?

I'm all for love. I'm all for total commitment.

But I'm also tired of being married to a selfish, misogynistic boy. I don't need nor want someone playing dictator over me. That doesn't fly with me.

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You should be tired of it.  Marriage is a partnership of equality.... in love, lust, tough times, great times, decision making, household chores, outside chores, how money is spent, etc.  Communication is one key but the most important thing I think in making a marriage work is mutual respect and the ability to work out your problems as no marriage is problem free.  (Until one spouse rents the wood chipper that is /default_wink.png ).  K, joke aside... if you are attracted physically, connect emotionally, have that mutual respect for each other's thoughts and opinions, even if you disagree with them sometimes, you have the rock solid foundation to build a fantastic marriage upon.  Truth be told, that is hard to accomplish and takes restraint and the willingness to compromise and pick your battles carefully.  My first wife (Lucifer's first born) was a total cluster F*.  Liar, cheat and thief... only good things that came out of that were my three beautiful daughters (yeah, while I didn't go on Maury, I did have them all DNA tested and all are mine) and the ability to recognize what I didn't want in a marriage.  The second time around, now 13 years married (or 12 depending on how you look at it as we got married in St. Lucia and on our 1st wedding anniversary we got married again in LV)... I hit the jackpot. 

If you have truly put in the work it takes to make a good run and it doesn't pan out, it's OK.  There is no shame in tossing it in and getting back out there to look for the one you will spend the rest of your life with (even if you don't officially get married).  I know... long post, sorry.  Just my take on this.  S-

 
I'm probably a member of that club. Who knows.

I'd probably consider remarrying or even recommitting to my first husband. We connect on every level - he is my match in every way. We got married at the wrong time in our lives - and our respective worlds came crashing down around us soon after we married (not because we got married) It was too much for us to handle as individuals - and we ended up going off the rails in every way. We still have regular conversations and see each other when we can. We don't say "I love you" anymore, but there still is love there.

Life is crazy sometimes.

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I'm probably a member of that club. Who knows.

I'd probably consider remarrying or even recommitting to my first husband. We connect on every level - he is my match in every way. We got married at the wrong time in our lives - and our respective worlds came crashing down around us soon after we married (not because we got married) It was too much for us to handle as individuals - and we ended up going off the rails in every way. We still have regular conversations and see each other when we can. We don't say "I love you" anymore, but there still is love there.

Life is crazy sometimes.

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That's awesome that you have an enduring connection with your 1st husband. Seriously. The only thing my ex-wife inspires in me is an overwhelming desire to shove her in front of a moving train. /default_ph34r.png

 
That's awesome that you have an enduring connection with your 1st husband. Seriously. The only thing my ex-wife inspires in me is an overwhelming desire to shove her in front of a moving train. /default_ph34r.png
It took a while to get past the hurt we caused one another. But let's just say our "current" partners are not fond of the undeniable connection we share.

I would t like it either, I guess.

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Many of us are full of unreasonable expectations.  If you take vows, probably oughta do your best to keep them. This not a dime store romance nor some silly movie.  This is life.  I am the alpha male, but that's not license to kill.  I try to never stop doing the things that earn me that position.  I work hard at building on that gut level love thing that caught me in the first place.  Primarily to learn and grow spiritually.  /default_wub.png

She surrenders to that same power and love arrangement.  If I wasn't the sort that she could trust and surrender to, she be with somebody else or her girlfriend, or alone.  She's no mouse.  She's a full grown, fine ass, full blooded Irish hellion.  She works hard to keep us in a state of grace.  My wife is not stupid.  Some time, years back, one of my old convenience stops called my house and told Mrs. I had left some clothes at her house.  Mrs Bluesman said, "Well they better be clean & pressed before he comes to retrieve them.  He likes his stuff to look just right.  Let me know when you get them from the cleaners, and I'll tell him."   /default_laugh.png When I got home she was tapping her foot... /default_angry.png but it was all a lie.

All that being said If either of us falls out of grace or love, then it's time to let go.  Honesty is the key.  Insight comes from experience, both bitter & sweet.  I might get a handle on it after another 20 years.  I am blessed thus far.

 
I agree, marriage is not to be taken lightly. But if only one person cares, it's kind of difficult to make things work.

So I can see both sides of it...

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Some of us are not meant to be married. Methinks I am one.
That's awesome that you have an enduring connection with your 1st husband. Seriously. The only thing my ex-wife inspires in me is an overwhelming desire to shove her in front of a moving train. /default_ph34r.png
I agree with you Cat.

My younger brother falls in that category.

I see friends that just should not be together and they both seem unhappy and all can see how they treat each other with indifference and they they just don't mesh.

Friends that got married right out of high school or just after graduating from college seem to have the most issues. They were too young to have had sufficient experiences before they hooked up with someone that they didn't know was not quite right for them.

As you get older your ideas about things and people change, it's normal, and when one or both people in a relationship change it's not fair or good to be miserable and stay in the situation. No one should be miserable and unhappy.

That's obvious from Jewys comment /default_smile.png.

For me I got lucky and found someone who adds to my life and makes me a better person and at the same time accepts me for who I am, faults and all, and what I might smoke all the time. After 13 years we still have not had a big fight or stayed mad at each other for more then a day or so. But we met and married when I was in my 30s and I was well past playing around and kind of knew the sort of person I wanted to be with.

One that doesnt care that I smoke MJ but doesn't smoke herself is just frosting on an already very good cake too /default_smile.png.

 
Many of us are full of unreasonable expectations.  If you take vows, probably oughta do your best to keep them. This not a dime store romance nor some silly movie.  This is life.  I am the alpha male, but that's not license to kill.  I try to never stop doing the things that earn me that position.  I work hard at building on that gut level love thing that caught me in the first place.  Primarily to learn and grow spiritually.  /default_wub.png

She surrenders to that same power and love arrangement.  If I wasn't the sort that she could trust and surrender to, she be with somebody else or her girlfriend, or alone.  She's no mouse.  She's a full grown, fine ass, full blooded Irish hellion.  She works hard to keep us in a state of grace.  My wife is not stupid.  Some time, years back, one of my old convenience stops called my house and told Mrs. I had left some clothes at her house.  Mrs Bluesman said, "Well they better be clean & pressed before he comes to retrieve them.  He likes his stuff to look just right.  Let me know when you get them from the cleaners, and I'll tell him."   /default_laugh.png When I got home she was tapping her foot... /default_angry.png but it was all a lie.

All that being said If either of us falls out of grace or love, then it's time to let go.  Honesty is the key.  Insight comes from experience, both bitter & sweet.  I might get a handle on it after another 20 years.  I am blessed thus far.
Don't want to go off track but your post reminds me of a song by Big Head Todd & The Monsters.  BM008, if you are familiar with them you will know which I mean.  S-  PS>  sorry for the temporary derailment.

 
Don't want to go off track but your post reminds me of a song by Big Head Todd & The Monsters.  BM008, if you are familiar with them you will know which I mean.  S-  PS>  sorry for the temporary derailment.
Outa Colorado?  Can't think of the song.  Title?  I'll look it up.

 
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  1. T @ Turbo259: @drjimmy1964 what did you mean by advertise? not gettin the verbiage, DM works if anything you mean by
  2. B @ bigblueallda: {Visit your local Driver Service Bureau with the necessary documents: original birth certificate, Social Security card, and two proofs of your state's residency. } I definitely provided this when I had to get a new ID when i let mine go expired too long maybe I unknowingly got one but I think it is pretty standard here.
  3. B @ bigblueallda: Well it was a state id renewal. Before that there was a mixup and I had lost my birth certficate and social security number. After a couple of weeks and finally getting several documents in order I was able to get a state ID. It had been expired previously for a little too long and they wanted all kinds of proof. It was a mess. But nah I looked up what to look for an my state's ID to see if it is a Real Id or not and my card as the symbol it is supposed to have. I'll take a closer look though
  4. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @bigblueallda are you sure you have a Real ID ? I mean , they really want 6 points of proof and 1 for your addy and 1 for your SSN. Did you maybe get it done and forgot and flew out of the country or something ?
  5. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: Actually it says "Not For Real ID Purposes". That is my 2022 renewal of my 2018 picture ID. I am not due till 2026 and I am sure they will make me go in since my pic would be 8 years old - they used to make you go in in my state for aging when I was younger, then went paper - then back to picture ( I think 9/11 to blame for that ) but relaxed it.
  6. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: Wow, for real ? You renewed your DL and without you knowing or having to present documents in person, they did it online? It has the star on top right and says "Rea: ID" Mine says ' NOT A Real ID" . I never knew what a Real ID was and never bothered to ask - I think I somehow was under the impression that it was for either military / gov't workers who had to travel over seas. WRONG lol.
  7. B @ bigblueallda: I already have one and didn't even realize it. I renewed my ID online about 6 months ago and I just looked at it today and it is a Real ID.
  8. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: @Turbo259 mine was duped , too. Not sure why or how my msg. duped. IMO that guy if serious and smart wouldn’t advertise with you
  9. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: I wish I had it when I flew to Vegas in 2022. The TSA line for Real ID passengers was short. Now it’s probably going to be crazy .
  10. drjimmy1964 @ drjimmy1964: Has everyone got their Real ID ? I think tomorrow’s the deadline yet just now an agent from AAA (I believe ) was on local news saying you can still get it past May 7.. Required for domestic flights.
  11. T @ Turbo259: sorry for the dupe message
  12. T @ Turbo259: Hey fam,, question for the masses, a vendor not from this forum lost a payment method and is blaming me for it, i have confirmed i havent done anything and even said i was willing to send the $ that was sent back to me to make good, they are being threatening a lil like its my fault to fix, any advice, dm me if easier, but curious as i did nothin wrong and kinda dont know what to do now, not lookin for issues from this person
  13. Scarecrow19 @ Scarecrow19: I wanna shout out to CNC fucking bad ass motherfucker he’s on point. He is the best if you want something he’s the man to see shout to CNC brother
  14. C @ CuCeltic99: @Gracie5 hey you
  15. xenxra @ xenxra: @Wickedy where the sun don't shine
  16. L @ Layne_Cobain: Howdy dbg peeps hope everyone is hangin in there n keepin alright…does anyone know what happened to Annasofia I just realized haven’t seen her on here in forever I hope she’s okay she was always so helpful and kind…(didn’t mean if anyone does know that I was asking her private biz just that she’s alrite…
  17. Wickedy @ Wickedy: Does anyone know where miss print went!!
  18. eswen444 @ eswen444: @rockychoc it was solid, hope your vacation is going great. Looking forward to doing business !
  19. C @ CuCeltic99: @Gracie5 hey you
  20. Dr-Octagon @ Dr-Octagon: Whats the good wurd, nurds....
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