Men, Dating And Sex?

[deperson]

LOL, you crack me up. You are soooo right! Pigs are nothing like hormone driven men (or women for that matter). I wonder why pigs get such a bad rap. So what's your suggestion on a new nickname?

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All jokes aside, what greater insult is there than being human? Any nickname would only soften the blow.

 

[TealGreen]

All jokes aside, what greater insult is there than being human? Any nickname would only soften the blow.

I like you! I feel the same.

Animals > Humans

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[buyer2015]

Thought you didn't want to get into a lengthy post? I think it's gone unsaid that of course not all men are just out for one thing or that there are plenty of women that are just as bad. I'm well aware of that as I'm sure everyone else in this thread is. One of my best friends, whom is female, is definitely a HO in my book. I love her just the same. I really don't like labels and I do believe everyone should be able to live their life how they choose. I give every individual I meet the benefit of the doubt in the beginning as they deserve. This thread is just about the struggles of dating and how men and women have a hard time getting on the same page. And the reasons for it. Nobody is trying to hurt your feelings nor are they saying every man is a pig and every woman is an angel. So c'mon, don't make this about you. No crying in this thread. LOL, you know I'm just busting your balls right? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Well I guess what i meant about a lengthy post is that it would take a lot more than what I wrote to explain my feelings. I totally agree with you that each person should be judged individually. What I don't like is when someone has a bad experience or maybe more than one and then form an overall opinion or stereotype.

Not all men are alike just like not all women are alike. Our personalities and thoughts are as individual as we our looks. An example is that I am a extreme non racist. Some people will look at a race and might be scared or think they are all alike and this really bothers me because nothing could be further from the truth. So the same can be said about different sexes and just because you may have had a bad experience before doesn't mean it is going to happen again. The chances are the same going into each new experience. I think the more people realize this the better life will be and the more harmonious we can live together.

Like I said, each person is an individual so they should all be treated as such and just because you may have had a bad experience meeting someone in on method, doesn't mean you should give up on that method all together because you may be missing out on the person of your dreams just because the last person turned out to be an A-hole and those types are everywhere and often disguised and good at disguising themselves.

To make my point as simple as possible stereotypes suck so don't depend on them because they are probably wrong more than they are right.

 

[buyer2015]

I like you! I feel the same.

Animals > Humans

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I'm not sure if this is a good comparison because all of the nature shows I've seen, sex has nothing to do with love/feelings or whatever and doesn't seem enjoyable

It's more like "hey baby, you look good" no foreplay, then they jump on top, there's a few pumps, its over and then its on to the next one". Not to much female enjoyment there. LOL

Of course from some of the stories I have heard, this happens with human men too. LMFAO

 

[Guest]

Well I guess what i meant about a lengthy post is that it would take a lot more than what I wrote to explain my feelings. I totally agree with you that each person should be judged individually. What I don't like is when someone has a bad experience or maybe more than one and then form an overall opinion or stereotype.

Not all men are alike just like not all women are alike. Our personalities and thoughts are as individual as we our looks. An example is that I am a extreme non racist. Some people will look at a race and might be scared or think they are all alike and this really bothers me because nothing could be further from the truth. So the same can be said about different sexes and just because you may have had a bad experience before doesn't mean it is going to happen again. The chances are the same going into each new experience. I think the more people realize this the better life will be and the more harmonious we can live together.

Like I said, each person is an individual so they should all be treated as such and just because you may have had a bad experience meeting someone in on method, doesn't mean you should give up on that method all together because you may be missing out on the person of your dreams just because the last person turned out to be an A-hole and those types are everywhere and often disguised and good at disguising themselves.

To make my point as simple as possible stereotypes suck so don't depend on them because they are probably wrong more than they are right.

Regarding your post earlier, it was SPECIFICALLY mentioned that not all men are "pigs". So stop hurting and go backand read the posts. I acknowledged at least twice that there are good men out there. These ladies are simply stating their opinion based on their experience. There are such things as statistics, averages and experience that people base their comments on. The comments were not directed at you, nor should they be taken personally by you. Do you have kids? Cuz you should. We need more good guys in this world. I consider myself so lucky to have one.

 

[buyer2015]

Regarding your post earlier, it was SPECIFICALLY mentioned that not all men are "pigs". So stop hurting and go backand read the posts. I acknowledged at least twice that there are good men out there. These ladies are simply stating their opinion based on their experience. There are such things as statistics, averages and experience that people base their comments on. The comments were not directed at you, nor should they be taken personally by you. Do you have kids? Cuz you should. We need more good guys in this world. I consider myself so lucky to have one.

Maybe something I wrote was misread as a lot of stuff i write is sometimes. i didn't take anything personal or directed at me. Just wanted to say that that no one should make generalizations based on one or a few experiences. There are great people both male and female. It just takes some work to weed them out but it is usually always worth the effort so don't give up. 

 

[peanut]

Lol! Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh!

Where I was actually going with my post befor being distracted by my own ADD was that I have been "dumped" before for not putting out. I made the mistake of doing that previously and I felt awful about it. Although i was really young when this happened I have never forgotten how worthless I would feel finding out t hat dude was not interested in seeing me again..or if he was, it was a booty call. Of course I have grown and matured and found my security since then and found my own voice as a woman. But I will never EVER forget how much it hurt to be used for sex. Thats why I was so afraid after doing the deed with the Otter so quickly. I guess I got lucky, but it could just as easily have gone the other way. I should have trusted myself to know the real thing. But those memories came slammimg back into my head from so long ago. I am so proud of you guys knowing yourselves so well and knowing what you want. Since the party that was my twenties, I have not dated around much. I was always busy working and if someone was willing to really pursue me....i would conside it. I have been married twice and I regret the first one cuz it was hell. My second one I will never ever regret.....he is still my best buddy and I love him to death as a friend. But I married my friend and he his. Not an ideal marriage.

Anyway, do grown men really ask for blow/hand jobs on the second date? That is disgusting. WHERE IS THE ROMANCE? The flowers, the dates, the anticipation, the long all night talks, the make-out sessions? With NO sex and your clothes on? What happened to doing it the RIGHT way? that is so disappointing. God, if you are not willing to put in the effort, go jerk off. Better yet put your dick in the freezer and keep it on ice until you learn some manners. Thats what makes a REAL man. Plus, wouldnt you wonder about a woman who slept with you right away? (I KNOW i did it....but) i KNOW good guys are out there amongst all of the pigs. Where are you supposed to meet them? I guess a lot of women want to know. I would love to see guys like.....write down a list of topics amd memorize it to keep conversation interesting. Plan fun, active and interesting things to do. PUT IN SOME EFFORT. You know it will be rewarded eventually? Have men become "entitled" just like today's teens and young adults? That is so sad. I have a single guy friend that would make a great catch! He is educated, funny, really sweet and quite good looking but he is SO shy....he cant get past the first date. I think he bombs the convo. I also think he is really picky. We have "rehearsed" dates together and I have helped him plan things. I have even a cused him of being secretly gay and encouraged him to come out if need be. He wants someone to share his life with so badly, maybe that is coming across. I swear, i am going to make him somehow record a date so I can critique him. He wants to know where all of the good women are. We need to find this out...where are the good women and men.

Reality tv. The Internet. Hollywood  <---------Responsible for turning what used to be called dating into what is now called "casual encounters".

There is a guy that I work with, ******* ****, who is 24 years old and still a virgin. Pretty rare. But after talking to him and finding out why (besides the fact he is creepy and weird) his parents pretty much told him that if he has sex before marriage he will get syphilis and/or HIV/aids and die. I am not joking either. I think that would be the absolute worst (or is it worse) thing to do to a young person. Dating and sexual attraction is a natural/normal emotion. When to act on the emotion is what is wrong with society. How many current tv shows or movies have you seen lately where people hook up for the night vs actual dating?

 

[deperson]

I'm not sure if this is a good comparison because all of the nature shows I've seen, sex has nothing to do with love/feelings or whatever and doesn't seem enjoyable

It's more like "hey baby, you look good" no foreplay, then they jump on top, there's a few pumps, its over and then its on to the next one". Not to much female enjoyment there. LOL

Of course from some of the stories I have heard, this happens with human men too. LMFAO

Your biggest mistake is comparing human consciousness to that of animal consciousness. Aside from a very few "higher" species who may be evidenced to have extremely limited time-consciousness, animals exist only in the present. As you can imagine this has profound implications. For one, they don't have any of the problems outlined in this thread.

This might be an interesting read for you: http://leudar.com/library/On%20the%20Use%20and%20Abuse%20of%20History.pdf

Feel free to PM me or make a thread to discuss it. I don't want to derail the thread at hand anymore than I have already.

Edit: Yes, it's quite long, but the most famous portion is at the very beginning, so don't feel like you have to read the whole thing... even though it's worth it. I also have other sources that address this issue if you want more!

Reality tv. The Internet. Hollywood  <---------Responsible for turning what used to be called dating into what is now called "casual encounters".

There is a guy that I work with, ******* ****, who is 24 years old and still a virgin. Pretty rare. But after talking to him and finding out why (besides the fact he is creepy and weird) his parents pretty much told him that if he has sex before marriage he will get syphilis and/or HIV/aids and die. I am not joking either. I think that would be the absolute worst (or is it worse) thing to do to a young person. Dating and sexual attraction is a natural/normal emotion. When to act on the emotion is what is wrong with society. How many current tv shows or movies have you seen lately where people hook up for the night vs actual dating?

Where do you work?

 

[peanut]

Where do you work?

LOL? Blue collar factory. Was a peon at the time I worked with the dude. Now I am above the peons (kinda like a VIP section at work). /default_smile.png

Any luck yet Honey? Any thoughts?

 

[deperson]

LOL? Blue collar factory. Was a peon at the time I worked with the dude. Now I am above the peons (kinda like a VIP section at work). /default_smile.png

Any luck yet Honey? Any thoughts?

Oh, just wondering. I'm definitely not a creepy weirdo or anything...

(Psst! Do you think you can get me a promotion?)

 

[Mr. Crowley]

This is why I don't date men. Well that, and I'm married. Oh, and not gay. But men are pigs, except for big buyer of course. I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings. If so, call me and we'll cry together.

I'm currently dating and what's making dating challenging is all these men don't want a relationship or don't want things to naturally progress but they just want sex up front. What's the deal? It's the biggest turn off when a man is talking about having sex on the second date.

I was dating this guy and everything seemed to be going great and then on date 3 he's talking about sex. I'm like why you talking about that this early?

Also there is the can you come over my house or can I come over your house for the first date? Where the hell did the respect go? I don't know you and sure as hell will not let you come over to my house or I won't be going over to your house on the first date. I have a good friend who was raped under those circumstances and another sexually assaulted.

My last relationship was with a guy who in fact knew how to date, unfortunately his ex broke us up. But it was great because we actually dated and the respect was there but men like this are difficult to come by.

I don't frequent bars or clubs because I already kinda know what the scene is there. I love coffee shops, cultural events and fine arts and still even at these events, I meet guys who are the same way. And online dating...don't even get me started. Online dating might as well be renamed as online sexing.

I'd like to hear from some men as to what is going on and how to handle this. It makes for a very uncomfortable situation.

 

[peanut]

This is why I don't date men. Well that, and I'm married. Oh, and not gay. But men are pigs, except for big buyer of course. I hope I didn't hurt anyone's feelings. If so, call me and we'll cry together.

Damnit Mr. C. Shall we skype and cry or just talk and cry?

 

[2earls]

Lol Peanut, Mr. Crowley, Deperson, you all just had me cracking up! Let's Skype and laugh instead!

 

[TealGreen]

LOL Mr C! Yes let's all Skype. That would be fun!

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[Phrenicz]

Well, after a quick scan of this heated debate, I thought I would chime in!

I know plenty of women who would have sex an hour after meeting someone?... Believe me, I was the someone!... I also know women, who won't even contemplate sex before at least 5 or 6 dates?... I know women that require you (me) to have a STI check up, before anything like sex is on the table?.. (Not actually on the kitchen table).... However, I do find the latter to be quite unworkable, as it can take up to a month to acquire the results to said 'test'.... That is a strange month! As in my opinion, you at least need to know if you are on the same sexual wavelength?... And of course, you miss the all important 'honeymoon period'...

Personally, when I meet a woman, she is a person.. And just like any person, I can pretty much decide in one night, if this is a person that is worth getting to know some more... Obviously, at this point there will also be the obvious signs of 'chemistry', or none at all.... If not, I would still class the person as somebody I would like to get to know... I have no problem in pursuing a new friendship regardless of me wanting to 'shag' her or not.... Sometimes it's these encounters which eventually end up blossoming into the best relationships, as in my opinion, friendship is the cornerstone to any meaningful long term relationship... However, contrary to popular belief, some people do only require that one night of companionship, like 2 ships passing in the night, enriching eachother's lives, even for that short period of time?... This does not make either party a whore, just 2 people satiating a common, often urgent need to experience some intimacy, closeness, the touch of another human being?...

Now then, men also fall into the same groups?... I know many men that would be quite happy to stick their cock in anything, and I mean anything!.. A nano-second would be enough for them to make that decision!... I also know men who just crave a physical connection, even just for the briefest of moments?.. This is not particularly just to get laid, it's again, for that unique feeling of connection... People are lonely, they seem to be getting lonelier by the minute?... Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of men out there who just see women as conquests, something to be had, enjoyed and discarded, with no regard to that persons feelings.. However, there are equally calculating women out there also...

When you are single, it's so hard sometimes, to watch other people in love, happy and sharing a connection that you once had, could have, yet no longer have... This creates a longing, not just for sex, just for someone to share that moment, that connection, totally unique to that facet of your psyche.... I also know men, who are extremely wary of women that want to have sex quite early on on the relationship?.. It makes them suspicious and cautious.... Which brings me on to my next point...

Unfortunately, we do live in a society of labels and pre conceived ideas of what is the norm... But who can tell the individual what is the norm?... Normal is totally subjective to the person or persons involved?..

I think the problem we all face is what society has dictated as normal and acceptable... For instance, a girl that offers sex within an hour? Is that a girl you want to start a meaningful relationship with?.. Well, according to what we are conditioned to believe, that would make her a slut!.. However, have you ever stopped to think that 'you' were the only reason that all it took was an hour?... She may also be as shocked and mortified that it happened so soon?... However, that's nothing to be ashamed of, when instincts take over, that's what they are, instincts..

I have learn't to trust my instincts a lot more as I have grown up, so to summarise... When I was younger, that girl would be a slut! Now, she might just be the one?... We all like sex, it's programmed into us, we are shaped for it, there is nothing more sacred and special than total intimacy... To be completely connected on both the mental & physical level, almost perfect synchronicity!

I guess what I'm trying to say... It doesn't matter where you have come from, or how things start, it's how they turn out is what's important : )...

Just sayin'

~P~

 

[Phrenicz]

And then there is YB, with his ass avatar. And a mighty fine ass it is. Hehehe

About time someone else other than me showed their appreciated that lovely lovely bottom!! : )

 

[yellowbelly]

^^^^bump^^^^

Wanna see it again? /default_biggrin.png

 

[Suzie]

LOL, Yay Seahawks!!

 

[Bloom]

^^^^bump^^^^

Wanna see it again? /default_biggrin.png

NO!!!!!!!

 

[yellowbelly]

NO!!!!!!!

Don't be hating! /default_huh.png