Night before last I went out to a social situation. Took 16mg loperamide to get functional before going. Ended up walking about 1.5 miles during it, too. Felt good, of course due to the loperamide, and the 1.5 beers I had over 3 hours. I slept fine.
The next day, yesterday, I felt fair, sure to the loperamide's remaining effects. No problem sleeping again last night.
Today I feel pretty bad, but not as awful as maybe a few days ago.
I'm still using Effexor morning and night, usually 25mg, but having to take an extra 25mg maybe every third dose to keep away withdrawal effects. I *really* should switch to 37.5mg instead of constantly spiking the level of the drug in me by doing that. Temperature control (chills/sweats) are getting better every day. Haven't really had any chills in a few days, though I'm still getting a little sweaty at night.
Tomorrow night I'll be hosting a little party at my house, and I may do the loperamide thing to get alert again. We'll see.
I think the tramps are one of the best antidepressants on the market. I think that is why they are so devastating and difficult to get off of.
... if I want to get a good productive day at work, I could just take a handful of pills and then not do it the next day. But I know I can't do that, ...
Agreed on all the above, and good luck finding support.
I would be careful about talking to my friends this early on, yabawhut. See a therapist; go to a meeting (they do help) but personally, I would wait until I felt stronger to talk to someone who isn't trained or hasn't "been there".
This is the conclusion I came to also with regard to people I know in real-life. However, I have since told an online friend. Now I have two people who fully know what's going, so I have the threat of experiencing shame of failure to maintain motivation.
My buddy had a tooth pulled recently, and they gave him (90) 50mg Trams, with (4) refills...
Jayzus, he's supposed to take 1 or 2 every 6 hours (when taking them for their real purpose), so he's been given 45 to 90 days worth of pills. That's crazy.
I wonder if they have to build up in ones system a little to get the antidepressant/energy side effect that seem to get so many people in trouble.
When they were new to me, it only took one little pill to make me feel wooOOooonderful.
... it substituted going to treat underlying problems that I already knew I had. It was a magic bullet. Then the cycle started. ... Never did dr0g seeking behavior, etc. It is really an interesting/destructive, yet functioning type medication to take. But for so many, it's a trap. I hate what they turned me into.
Agreed also.
Yaba, you hit a nerve with me when you talked about therapy. I have been self medicating since I was a young adult in my twenties. I beleive this to be due to an "incident" that happened to me as a young adult. ... I grew up with numerous alcoholics in my immediate family.
I have several "incidents" like those, too, with my parents. When I was young and invincible I used them to focus where my life was going so that I wouldn't end up with my their life. For the most part, I was successful. You'd think as you get older it would get easier to deal with and put aside those things, but for me it hasn't been that way. Especially when nothing ever seems to improve in their lives or in how they treat me.
I can tell that something like tramadol is how one of my parents got started down the path of destruction. I remember that parent having lots of energy when I was very little, and then gradually that waned and they just stopped doing things that needed to be done. Then they moved on to attention-seeking, risk-seeking behavior, destroying the stability of our home. Meanwhile, the other parent enabled all of this to happen. There was some plenty screwed-up shit that went on that I'm not going to post on a public forum.
My life is pretty good thanks to some of those purposeful good decisions when I was young, so not ruining decades of upward progress is another incentive I have to fly straight.
Thanks to everybody for your responses.
