One more thing, hap. I know you said you are kinda doing this incognito. Have you told your Dr? One thing that really helped me was clonuhdyne to help with wd's and bp going off cold turkey. With you especially going off of Effx too, probably worth checking into a sub antidep like Z0l0ft? The poppy seeds that Cat talks about are also really popular and seem to work great. i didn't try it, but i've heard good things about it. I had more problems with the SSRI wd's than the 0piate wd's...the times i've quit. When i quit, the first couple weeks of SSRI wd's cause this weird sensation with my eyes...when i look left to right or up and down i get this clicking sound/feeling in my head. it's weird. I have heard of "brain zaps" but i think those are different. i think those are like brain causing body jolts. not sure. anyway, hope this helps!
So, I have not told my doctor and I'm trying to avoid that, too. Small community and I'm afraid of that. I have an appointment with a psych coming up to start taking antidepressants again. I've had multiple bouts of depression over my lifetime and I truly think the tramps were why I haven't needed them for so many years. I started taking trammies for migraines and they started to help with virtually everything I had problems with. Social anxiety, depression, and aches and pains associated with depression. I never took more than 16 in one day, but that was a heavy usage day. I really only took 12 (give or take) a day. Pretty much at mealtimes. So I never got high like some people talk about. But one day I just couldn't function if I accidentally left them at home. Since then, a few years ago, I realized how bad I needed them. I never upped the dose, never got tolerance to the dose or ever needed more to achieve the same effect. I considered it a maintenance dose to keep the pain of w/d, depression and anxiety.
I fooled myself that it was only a few pills over the daily recommended dose, so if I tried to taper it was not pleasant, so I quit trying.
When the scheduling of the tramps came along, I decided it was a wake up call to find the real me again.
I've tapered from 12 to 1.5- 2 a day, extremely slowly. 12, 9, 8, 6, 4, 2-3 and now 1-2 a day. I know the feeling of many dr>gs. Lots in my youth, sometimes for days on end. But I always had a day or two of w/d's but never anything like this. It's my mind---truly mental. But I'm not crazy or anything, just lifelong depression that always comes back. Most psychs will ask what antidepressant has worked in the past, and start with that drug first. So, I'll probably get my choice. From what I've seen on the forums here, I won't ask for the ones that people mention also have bad w/d's.
I plan on being off these trammies by Christmas...not going to risk jumping off a cliff without antidepressants onboard first. I think I'm on a low enough dose to start anytime on something mild like z0loft or Prozac.
Omg, poppy p0ds are really expensive! Plus, I may really love them- so not a good idea. I have been using b3nz0s for the anxiety, blood pressure and sleep. I am also taking Htp5. I sleep almost too much, but not from too many b3nz0s (2-3 1mg a day), but probably depression. It makes the time pass quickly
. But when I'm not asleep, I am having some great days or parts of days. I'm ok. I didn't get to this place overnight, so it's going to take time to get out of it.