Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. Strawhat7 @ Strawhat7: @xenxra got it! I figured as much but was strange that I could literally find no evidence that he was ever on here lol thought I was going nuts!
  2. xenxra @ xenxra: @Strawhat7 yeah he stopped sending out mags like last november or something iirc
  3. Strawhat7 @ Strawhat7: Anyone know whatever happened to the vendor Mr. Black? Ghosted me a long while back, took a break from dbg, logged back on and I literally can find no trace of his thread on here? Probs blacklisted I’m guessing?
  4. MOD @ MOD: Hi All
  5. LW815 @ LW815: @Mycawesome gotta be proactive(aka fiscally irresponsible[borderline retarded]) and way overstock the library. While the preferred genre may not always be in stock always sure to have sub-genres or at the very least another genre to stay entertained while awaiting the next edition of the favorites.
  6. T @ timyboy: Happppy 4th!!
  7. T @ timyboy: Good day ya'll!!!
  8. Mycawesome @ Mycawesome: @tiquanunderwood yeah you're right. Also its my falut I should have seen this and made contacts sooner. I remembered at the last minute on sunday to put in with everyone. So i have only myself to blame... I was hoping for some Kelloggs to eat during the fireworks show. Oh well ill just take a rest day and watch some monty python from a deep hole ha im my bed
  9. Mycawesome @ Mycawesome: Edit error
  10. Mycawesome @ Mycawesome: Government holidays are such a pain my ass. Everything takes twice as long...
  11. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Yessir. It's a bummer.
  12. Mycawesome @ Mycawesome: Government holidays are such a pain my ass. Everything takes twice as long...
  13. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: sry i know we all go through this to varying degrees, but we all need some llove! <3
  14. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Hoping the 5th s a magical day
  15. B @ bigblueallda: I missed out on that $10 I meant to get a $1 of btc last week. They sent the email like 15 times lol
  16. L @ Layne_Cobain: @xenxra thanks for confirming bud I did see that when googled but never received the promo offer like others did thru email or notification so was just being 💯 percent…thanks again
  17. xenxra @ xenxra: i don't think you need to censor the terms cashapp and bitcoin....
  18. xenxra @ xenxra: @Layne_Cobain from cashapp: "buy any amount of bitcoin by June 30, and we’ll add a $10 bonus in bitcoin to your account by July 7"
  19. L @ Layne_Cobain: Random $10 c@$$@pp bitc0iin bonus dropped in my acct didn’t refer anyone didn’t just sign up all I’ve done is buy coin recently…it shows it’s from the source I said looks legit not asking for anything from me…legit? Just strange
  20. Tucker @ Tucker: @Layne_Cobain , web
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