Marriage is not what I'd hoped

I impulsively got married a couple years ago and I'm miserable. I was sober at the time and then I relapsed, and now I seem to relapse every few months. Drugs seem to be the only escape. The problem is for some reason my wife likes me way more than I like her. I'm too chicken to divorce her, but being married I keep building up pressure until I go back to drugs because I'm so unhappy. Sorry for bitching I don't know what to do.

 
I know this is an old post but I must say when I see a wedding being set up, or a girl shopping for a wedding dress I can't help but say under my breath...... Don't do it!!!!

 
I’ve been married twice and I’ll never do it again. First was an abusive (emotional and mental...physical abuse was on the horizon) asshole, second was a narcissistic asshole (this dude literally had every single trait of a narcissist). 

Whenever people tell me they’re getting married, I immediately say “Make sure you really know who you’re marrying. Take the ‘rose-colored’ glasses off and see their true self. 

And yes, I’m bitter as hell! But so would you if you were married to these guys. Esp the 2nd ex-hubby. I just have zero faith in marriage. Both ex’s changed for the worse after marrying them. But there were warning signs before each marriage...I just chose to ignore them and leave those shit rose glasses on. Lol. But...those glasses got torched and will never be used again. 

I look at it this way: I have enough of my own problems & issues to deal with/worry about...I sure as hell don’t need anybody else’s.  

 
Under the law, marriage is a legal contract, at least in the U.S.   I don't want to be in a monetary legal contract ever again.  Look at what happens on here, even the vendors that you don't even know screw you over and I bet the women to men ratio for that is much higher. I"ve also been married twice and both were shit, but when my second husband died 3 years ago, realized how much I loved him.  He was verbally abusive and treated me like shit, but it's even worse having no one to help, no one to say good night to, no one to vacation with, someone to at least help minimally with the kids, especially someone to discuss your day with.  I also would never get married again, but a non-monetary companion would be nice.  I am only in mid-50s, I look passable, but in my heart of hearts, I know there will never be another man interested in me and I will have to live alone trying to fix lawnmowers and move furniture by myself till I die with no family or friends to help.  COVID sure hasn't helped at all.  More loneliness.   I swear I love my dog more than anyone I know.

 
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  1. M @ meepmoopmeep: watched it live and the french pair made obvious mistakes that the judges chose to ignore
  2. M @ meepmoopmeep: Madison Chock and Evan Bates got cheated out of the pair figure skating dance gold medal
  3. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: US hockey baby!!!!
  4. S @ sawganaut: Yo eileen gu is a foxxx
  5. L @ Layne_Cobain: Let’s go US men’s hockey team first game today at 3 for any hockey fans lol
  6. L @ Layne_Cobain: @Thoth if you a down mothafuckah put in work hehe
  7. D @ drdrizzy13: It's stiill "around" but it's pretty hard to find.
  8. A @ army13$: Is it possible to get clam at all these days? Haven’t had it in 5 years
  9. E @ everythgburns: whoops. i didn't realize i clicked off to the other open window lol
  10. E @ everythgburns: effexor
  11. Thoth @ Thoth: If you scared go to church!
  12. Thoth @ Thoth: Put in work!
  13. tiquanunderwood @ tiquanunderwood: Happy start of the work week!
  14. D @ drdrizzy13: Yeah it was definitely a hold. Can't blame the refs for calling it. But I've seen many sketchy calls in the past to help the spread or over/under lol.
  15. Maelstrom @ Maelstrom: Wonder how much money was impacted by that last touchdown and holding call back. The refs were flirting with the over/under payoffs… that flag either cost a lot people some money or won them a bunch. But I guess you can’t say it was a bad call, just a very impactful one.
  16. shoutback @ shoutback: Fucking A nfl season is over :( Those were by and far the best teams this season. That Elite D will just stifle mofos. And ya gotta give Darnold his flowers for taking care of the football. That was professional.
  17. M @ meepmoopmeep: Too bad that football season is over now
  18. M @ meepmoopmeep: Seahawks offense left more to be desired (esp during first half) but patriots offense was just abysmal. A win is a win though. Squawk squawk!
  19. shoutback @ shoutback: Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, I seem to have left a little squawk here and little squawk there
  20. L @ Layne_Cobain: Hey now @tiquanunderwood split the uprights my boy 😂 😂 jp homie
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